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Here we go again!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ROSIEGIRL, Jul 6, 2011.


    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    No advice or anything dogcat - just wanted to wish you well. Onward and upward!
  2. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks, I'll be sorted soon I hope!
  3. It's the crappy old circle of life. Sh*t stuff happens, worse luck.
    BUT, nothing bad or good lasts forever - hopefully something pleasant will happen to counterbalance the bad stuff.
    *pats dogcat on shoulder sympathetically*
  4. Hell dogcat. Sounds like you'll be much better off without him.
    Try to think of moving on as a big adventure. I do....Look forward to what the future might hold. It could be brilliant. x x

  5. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks Arched Eyebrow. I am trying to see it like that, just going to be so sad when I go and I hope we can be friends in the future. We do get on well, but there is just no future in it. Had moved in with him at his parents to try and save house deposit, and that will all go out of the window now I have to rent somewhere again. Hoping to get a house share to cut on living costs.
    Very scared about moving to a new place in an area I don't know, only moved at Christmas. It will be pretty lonely for a while too, but I am hoping that come September I will be too busy to notice.
  6. MayKasahara

    MayKasahara New commenter

    Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time at the moment. Once you've paid your moving costs you could maybe use some of the money you've saved to go on a last-minute holiday over the summer which would give you a change of scenery and something to look forward to!
  7. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    I have a holiday booked with him in a few weeks time. Thinking of going on my own, but then I need to pay him back his half of the holiday. We are not arguing or anything so we could probably still go, but I just feel that would send the wrong message.
  8. MayKasahara

    MayKasahara New commenter

    I agree, I wouldn't think about going away on holiday with someone I'd just split up with! Could either of you find a friend to go with instead?
  9. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Not at this late stage, I have one friend who might consider it but I doubt she can afford it or get the time off.
  10. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    So I have started looking for somewhere to live and am faced with two choices;
    1. Move into a shared house and still be able to save a little each month for my house deposit fund, but live with stranger/s in an area I don't know.
    2. Rent my own place and not be able to save a penny towards my house deposit, and use some of my limited savings towards deposit and setting up plates, cutlery etc.
    I really don't know what to do. Before I moved here it was easier, if I rented a room I knew the areas and what to look for etc. I start studying part time from Sept and I need peace and quiet to be able to get everything done and stay sane. But I don't want to make myself skint either.
    This whole thing is getting really hard and stressful and I have no one up here to talk to. I try talking to him about it and he just keeps saying it is ridiculous that I am moving out. I thought about going back home for the weekend, but then I can't view any places this weekend.
    Feel like I could just cry!
  11. Rent your own place while you do the MA, you need peace and quiet to study properly. Then reconsider sharing once the MA is done so as to start saving again.
  12. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Thanks Historyguy, I will be nearly 30 when my MA is done, starting to feel like I am getting older but no wiser and with nothing to show for it.
    I am going to stay put where I am until I find the right place, the house is huge and there is a big room for studying so if worst case scenero means I am still living there in Sept I should be ok.

  13. fluffysparkles

    fluffysparkles New commenter

    Better off without him I say! Everything happens for a reason....maybe you'll bump into Brad Pitt's long lost twin on your MA! [​IMG]
    As for being 30 etc... I'm 27 starting PGCE in sept so can empathise! Still no house bought, career carved etc etc... but onwards and upwards I reckon!
    Thinking I'll probably have to move for my nqt year given the state of the jobs market. The other half has been warned, and told he either waits or comes with. If it's meant to be...
    Try to find the positives, new faces, new places, new shops to explore... [​IMG]
  14. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Well went to look at a flat today and it was horrible. Feel like I am never gonna find anywhere to live!
  15. tdnorth

    tdnorth New commenter

    Hi dogcat...your story and situation resonated with me...last year lost my home and was drowning in debt due to relationship breakdown (2nd time this has happened to me...you'd think I learnt the hard way first time)...had a few tricky months looking for and scrabbling whatever money I could gather for somewhere to rent for myself and youngest son...it was terrifying and depressing...I found somewhere eventually which only had the fact that it was thre right area and just below £700pcm going for it and moved in over the snow days last december...I didn't really like it at first, but now it's grown on me. My son and I just about manage, but it's extremely tight financially. Now I'm sitting here whilst he and one of his sisters are at a festival, the other is travelling...I've pretty much slobbed about in my pjs all weekend, reading, gardening vegging out watching the tv...and realising that the shock of the last 18 months is beginning to disappear. The house is ok, better in the summer months...my heart and emotions are getting steadier...and this summer break is looking slightly less traumatic than the last. I've no financial security at all now, work very long hours and will be paying these debts forever I think...I'm 50..worry constantly about money...BUT...I'm learning that the time comes when you can draw a breath and say....at least THAT bit is over.
    You are having a really stressful time....it WILL get better....and you will look back and begin to think...I never want to do that again, but look what I've achieved. Stay strong petal...you've made some tough decisions...one day at a time.
    Good luck.

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