I have had time off in the past year for mental health issues related to some stressful family events including cancer and a death. Did the "right thing": saw GP, signed up for therapy, told school I was struggling to cope, etc. I marked my exam classes and all tests, but I will admit that my homework and class work marking slipped for my KS3, but I figured that since the school knew I was struggling. I barely made it to the end of term alive, and that's not an exaggeration. I was having regular anxiety attacks inside and outside of school, not sleeping, self harming... my GP wanted to sign me off from work but between the stigma and the not wanting to let my exam classes down, I said no. (Not to mention that I couldn't face the marking load of several weeks of cover work!) I was, however, released from the forth faculty observation of the year (because I had a panic attack in school and was sent home). I've had anxiety my whole life, but always been able to manage it around my job before. I'm actually getting a possible new diagnosis, as my current issues sure as sugar aren't my usual anxiety symptoms Then there was a book scrutiny in the last week of term. Exam classes gone, along with their books. Half my KS3 didn't have theirs with them, and the HT tore me apart. He called me lazy and said I had let the whole department down, and that if Ofsted came in I would cause us to get RI. That just about killed me off. Again: literally. I pointed out that my GP didn't even want me in, but he said that that was no excuse. Now, I've had a couple of book scrutinies during the year and several obs. No issues raised. He said they were bad all year. Why wasn't that raised at earlier scrutinies? He also said that not observing me counted as enough "support". So now it's the night before results night and I've had two mild anxiety attacks already. I am sure that if my results aren't stellar, the scrutiny will be used as an excuse to keep my from moving up the pay scale. And if I'm honest, my results are likely to be a mixed bag. I don't want to go back to work. I love the staff and the kids, but the idea of having to interact with this HT again is keeping me up at night. However, I need a reference from him. I'm sure that any reference I get is already likely to be trash, but I know that if I take the sick time my GP offered, it will be awful. Not to mention the black mark on my attendance record further down the line. The thing is: the family stuff isn't fixed. My mental health over the summer hasn't improved, I've just not had to battle to keep myself together all day so I've been able to manage it better. I feel physically sick at the thought of results day tomorrow and going into that place and I've never felt that before. Do I go back, knowing I probably can't cope to the required standard and apply out, or do I take the GP time, knowing it will leave me on the back foot for the rest of the year when I come back in?.