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Help with the sneering girl

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Yosushi, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. Yosushi

    Yosushi New commenter

    I have a particular problem with a girl in my class and it seems to be getting worse not better. Its hard to explain. She is always pushing the rules but if I ask her to comply she does - which is an achievement because she doesn't comply with everyone. However it is always with a sneer/attitude.
    When she does something like talk under me then I can follow sanctions which I do. Yet her sneering and disbarraging attitude is very difficult. But I don't know - can you punish someone for their face/tone of voice?
    For example today I was talking to another student and I could sense giggles so I looked behind me and she was sneering away and rolling her eyes at me. When I asked 'what was going on' she she answered me but the tone was horrible.
    She is year 10 and so immature. It is impossible to have a normal conversation with the girl. She is the 'leader' of her little group and she reigns over them with fear.
    I know its all a status game but I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Many thanks
    .
     
  2. bigkid

    bigkid New commenter

    Remove her from her audience. Every time she steps out of line ask her to leave the room before you speak to her about her behaviour. That way it doesn't matter if she sneers and rolls her eyes and she probably won't anyway (until you bring her back into the room)
    If she talks to you in a tone you don't like (arrogant, rude, hostile) then you can pick her up and challenge it. Insist on politeness and sanction her if she won't be polite.
    Alternatively you could praise everyone in her little group apart from her on a regular basis.
    Reward behaviour that you like. Sanction behaviour that you don't. Make your boundaries, expectations, sanctions and rewards clear and stick to them as rigidly as possible.
    While punishing someone for their face might be harsh punishing someone for their facial expression is perfectly reasonable if you ask me.
    Lots of the strategies that could be tried depend very much on you as an individual, the class dynamic and your relationship with the class.
    For example, with some classes you could try saying this to her
    "I don't know if you realise this but you keep rolling your eyes when I'm talking. Now I know that you would never do something so disrespectful and rude deliberately so it must be involuntary. I'm going to have to inform your Head of Year and your parents if this continues so we can get to the bottom of what might be a serious medical condition..."
    with other classes that would be a disaster.
     
  3. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Don't rise to the disparaging remarks.
    You can often take the wind out of their sails by paying them a compliment. I know it might go against the grain, but it can work eg you look smart today, you have a lovely smile, I like your new hairstyle etc.
     
  4. Are you male or female? If male, I'd not recommend compliments unless you want to be put on the register.
     
  5. Yosushi

    Yosushi New commenter

    Hi there,
    Thanks for replying everyone. I am female.
    You know I do do a lot of those things. I really try to develop relationships. I always seperate her from her friends so there isn't an audience when its really bad. I try to compliment her (through gritted teeth and a fake smile). When she does her 'face' or sneer I often just ask her calmly 'why did she do that?' - thats a brilliant one because it completely throws them - they expect to be told off and instead you are asking them directly.
    I know that the sneer and the rolling of eyes is secondary behaviour and Sue (get the *** to behave) says ignore secondary behaviour. But its getting to the point where she is not conceeding to my best teacher tactics.
    I am usually so good with the difficult ones. I have loads of them on my side and not because I am a push over but because I speak to them well and use detentions as 'relationship building time'. (Yes I am cringing writing that!) But this girl....I can't seem to connect with her.
    Of course she is like this across the school and not just with me but I have to see her every day. Its getting boring...anyway she didn't turn up to her lunchtime today so its some fun 'relationship buliding time' for me next week. Joy.
     
  6. I have been in a similar situation with a stroppy/eye rolling year 9 girl. I amused myself by being as nice as pie, smiled at her and asked how she was when she entered the room. Although she remained quite stroppy I tried to make it difficult for her to be rude to me.
     
  7. I tend to find laughing is the best thing to do with classic sneerers- even if they don't respond, it makes me feel better!
    PS She doesn't have Asperger's does she as sneering is a big part of the condition for some kids. If it's connected to ASD then it is probably not personal and it more complicated than simply rolling eyes in disgust etc.
     

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