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Help with girl with Asperger's

Discussion in 'Special educational needs' started by GeorgeFriendly, May 28, 2011.

  1. I've come across this situation quite a lot at both primary and secondary level. The other children behave as one would expect (ie part of 'normal' development) and the child with Asperger's is trying to cope with this. Neither side understands each other.
    But here, it is the parent who seems to be the problem. All you can do is stand your ground and try to predict how the mother will respond to any situations that arise. Always be ready to give an account of how you dealt with it or will deal with it and stick to your guns. You have to be unequivical because this kind of parent will leap on any evidence that you are in accord with her view of the world: 'Oh, but Ms XXXX said that the other children had...blah...blah.' Been there.
  2. mystery10

    mystery10 Occasional commenter

    It sounds as though you are working wonders with the choir and this particular child, and it must seem a pain that the parent doesn't understand the group dynamics and where her aspie child fits in. I wonder if you ever get the time or opportunity to speak to this parent at a bit more length without children in the way. I guess you need to seem to see everything from her point of view - why you can understand that she might feel that her child is being bullied etc ----- but that you really feel this is not the case, that it is just normal social behaviour amongst children of this age ...... nothing to do with Asperger's or her daughter in particular.
    Does the Mum maybe have some Aperger traits too, making it harder for her to be on the same "wavelength" as you? I liked the idea that another poster had that the adult with special needs experience might hold more sway with this particular parent ....... although your explanation would be just as good and reliable as hers this Mum might find it more reassuring if it comes from an apparent expert in the field.
  3. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    Thank you all for your very helpful comments. They all made so much sense! yes, i think the mum might have similar traits - I have thought that myself but wondered if i was looking for something that wasn't there.

    I think letting our special needs lady handle it is also a good idea. I can see myself getting cross if a similar situation arises again. I think I feel particularly agrieved as we have worked to include this little girl, and really that hasn't been a pronblem, only the mum is! It's rally nice to hear from other people that what I'mfeeling isn't unreasonable. I certainly don't want to fall out with the mum, who is lovely in every other way, but neither do i want her telling me what to do when far from doing anything wrong I think we've dealt with the whole situation fairly and appropriately. I'm glad it's half term and hopefully things will keep going well afterwards.
    Occasionally the little girl with asperger's has said something (unintentionally) to upset one of the others. If this happens should I have a quiet word with her mum, to demonstrate that things work both ways, or would she just think I was picking on her daughter's disability?!

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