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Help! Returned full time - does it get easier?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by tryingtoteach, Sep 7, 2011.

  1. tryingtoteach

    tryingtoteach New commenter

    Hi everyone.
    My LO is 14 months nearly and I've just started back FT and am missing my daughter like crazy! i leaver her at 7.30 and am back at 4.30 with tues afternoon with her (PPA) too. I know this first week will be hard, especially with no PPA but I am missing her so much!
    How do others cope? I see her an hour on a morning and about 4 on a night and it just doesnt feel enough. I asked for PT but this wasnt accepted . I think i just want to know it'll get easier!
    xx
     
  2. It does get easier!
    I went back 3 days after Christmas, and it took about a term to get into a rhythym, then another half term to start to enjoy it again. It felt like hell at first and I cried and felt guilty every day at work, but now I like the separation and the adult conversation and it feels like a best of a rest at school.
    The hardest bit for me these days is keeping on top of housework and doing lovely things with my LO. A lot of the mums/dads at my school have cleaners so they don't waste their time at home doing it.
    I hope you feel better soon x
     
  3. Agreed - it does get easier. You have a new routine to adjust to, which is hard at the best of times, let alone with all the feelings about leaving your child and going to work, so don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you've got a fair bit of time with your LO, more than some parents might (especially those who work longer hours in different jobs), but it always does feel like it's not enough. Enjoy the time you have though! And you'll get used to the new routine soon enough, and it will get easier. xx
     
  4. blueone

    blueone New commenter

    Ive just returned full time too and im feeling a bit down too. Im getting myself so stressed because im trying to do all of my work through the week so i have the weekend free, but its killing me and making me less competent. I feel confused and bewildered with things that i was good at before. And because im tired im tired in class which impacts my performance. Ive always struggled with the work/life balance, but i fear its going to be 10 times worse now the LO is here. Plus hes only been in nursery a week and has a stinking cold. I could have cried for him when i picked him up before, he looked so tired and sick. Poor little thing should be with his mummy :(
    If we have more I think i will have to go back part time, I couldnt cope with 2 and full time work!
     
  5. i went back when LO was 16 weeks old (just before he was 4 months) and yes it gets easier. the thing i learnt was to work my breaks and lunch hours, pilfer resources from colleagues, organise my resources so instead of creating i reuse and edit and i learnt to say "enough, that'll do" rather than "this has to be perfect and i don't care if i work 80 hours this week" so that i limit my time working so i have a work life balance. it's tough, but i have to put more time and effort into my family than my job, as they'll be around in my life far longer than my employer and students will be - unless i work every hour god sends and then they might leave me!!
     
  6. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    How do people afford cleaners?! Unless their families helped buy them a house,or they got a mortgage at a good time- most teachers I know struggle to cover basic bills for a two bed terrace. That assumes you have a husband who earns around the same as a teacher though...
     
  7. We are still renting and are pretty much never going to be able to buy. OH works longer hours for about half my take home pay. I pay for a cleaner because the two hours a day with LO before bed is too important to miss. I am also working through lunch and break and evenings after LO is asleep so I can keep weekends free. It is hard but she loves nursery so I try not to feel too guilty.
     
  8. I have just started back too. Im working 0.8, however I (stupidly?) agreed to a promotion and now I have twice the work with one less day! Even though I have only been back a week Im exhausted. I think that I will have to realise that all I can do is 'enough' not more than enough like before.
    My LO is in nursery 4 days and luckily for two of those days I can pick her up at 4, her daddy picks her up the other two days so I can work late...ish. It still feels like I wont see her enough even with one day off, I became a mummy to spend time with my child. But that sentiment doesnt pay the bills!
    All I can think is that I am damn lucky to be a teacher, I only have to work at most 8 weeks before I get a nice block of time with her......still feel guilty though!
    Just focus on doing enough work and thats it. This may sound wrong but I would much rather be an 'outstanding' mammy than teacher!
     
  9. Blueone, I can really sympathise on the poorly LO front. LO ended up with a dodgy tummy after just 2 days in nursery!! Fortunately my school had to close for two days due to failing a fire inspection so I got to stay at home with her for 2 days without officially having time off to look after her. I also seem to be finding things that used to be easy hard, I feel like after just a 8 months away (I went back after May half term) I have lost a lot of my confidence in the classroom, I'm not sure how or why? Has anyone else found this?
    I use all the time saving tricks that everyone else has mentioned, I get a lot of resources from the internet, try and use resources and planning from previous years and set hwk that can be peer assessed or marked in class. I don't have a cleaner tho, I try and do one small job a night and a couple of hours on a Saturday while OH takes LO to the park, I also do my Tesco shop online and get it delivered on a Sat morning so we have lots of yummy food for the weekend!
     
  10. I looked into a cleaner when I found out that all the parents in my dept have one, it's £25 per week for a 2 hour clean. Too much for me to pay, but the others said that they earn more than that for 2 hours work so it made sense. I do a bit of tutoring which I was going to use to pay for a clearner, but I'd rather spend it on a trip to costa, swimming and other treats.
    We've just decided to have a no work on a Sunday rule so we spend some quality time as a family, otherwise it just ends up as us taking it in turns looking after LO and not really doing anything.
    It is hard getting used to doing just enough in teaching, I hope you start to feel better about it soon. And my LO was constantly ill at first. I just took the time off to be with her, even though school wasn't impressed, she is more important than a few missed lessons.
     

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