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help, please! expressing at a wedding without LO - eek :/

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by mousee, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. Hi everyone

    I would LOVE some advice, please. In about 4 weeks we are going to a wedding without little baby because they have said no babies although there will be a creche or something we can't afford their ridiculous over priced accommodation and will have to stay in a tent, possible it's a caravan with no electricity - no good for a titchy baby. Anyway, I'm already fretting about this, what can I do about expressing whilst at this wedding. There's no way I can go all that time without doing so but how can I possibly go about it?

    I think I might have to purchase a hand pump (instead of the electric one I have, unless I get loads of batteries of course).

    Also I'm going to have to consider what I wear because it can't be a frock cos I'll spend ages undressing to express and where am I going to do the expressing. Gah! I think I'm going to have to disappear a few times to do the expressing.

    Advice / ideas, please
  2. Hi there, firstly DON'T PANIC! It'll work out just fine and you'll look back on this and laugh. Honest ;-) You sound like you're working yourself up into a froth... My advice would be to take your electric pump and some good quality batteries. I did exactly this when I went on a friend's hen do. I also worked myself up about it but it worked out well and in fact I enjoyed the break from feeding. The batteries lasted surprisingly well and it was so much easier with a pump I was used to. Maybe have a practice at home with the batteries. (By the way we were staying in a hotel so I locked myself in the bathroom with a magazine at 1 in the morning when we got in and at 7am! It wasn't ideal on the bathroom floor but it was private and did the job). As for you, could you borrow the (lockable) bedroom or bathroom of a friend who is staying at the hotel? How about the bridal suite? Ha ha only kidding! Another thought - take the opportunity to have a couple of drinks if you can - I did, and the milk I expressed whilst away from LO I threw down said bathroom sink. I believe the term is 'pump and dump'...:) Hope this helps you mousee.
  3. You'll be fine, the advice above sounds pretty good.
    The only thing I'd add is check on the 'pump and dump' thing - from the research I did it appeared that the alcohol works its way out of your milk like it does the rest of your system so it's not that you need to 'dump' it so much as wait until the amount you had will have totally processed through your system. Even if you dump milk, if you then feed baby before it's had the chance to work out of your blood stream you still pass over alcohol.
  4. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Who is looking after the babe?
    Any chance they could be in the area, and bring baby to you so you can cut out the middle man and feed?
  5. Only in miniscule amounts - lots of info here
    How long can you usually go without feeling engorged/leaking mousee? I'm having similar concerns about my own wedding day - although my baby will be with us on the day, trying to work out when and how to express/feed is very tricky! lilac's idea is a good one if it's practical. If not, could you feed LO in the morning, express in the car before the ceremony, express between the wedding breakfast and the evening's entertainment, and express last thing at night? Roughly 4 hourly, ish? That's kind of what I'm planning - it'll also mean LO gets some one-on-one time with me in a very hectic day [​IMG]
    If you want to keep the milk, you could fill a cool bag with ice packs and then ask the venue to put the milk in the freezer, then take it with you (with re-frozen ice packs) when you leave - then it wouldn't go to waste.
  6. Exactly what I was going to say- it would probably take an hour per unit of alcohol to work its way out of your body. I was told that the best time to feed baby if I wanted one drink, was while I was actually drinking it!! haha! That way the alcohol hasn't been processed yet or something. Don't worry, I didn't do it!
    Personally the thought of pump and dump makes me want to CRY- the milk is so precious and having sat there for ages like a milking cow, throwing it down the sink?! Unthinkable. I suggest if you want a drink, you have one as soon as you have expressed and keep the milk like suggested above, in bags, then in a plastic lunchbox in the hotel fridge. That way by the time you are ready to express again, the alcohol will have been processed and out of your body.
  7. Oh Mousee, you really don't sound like you are looking forward to this much.

    Is there anyone there you know who is staying? If the is- you could ask to use their room to express.

    It will work out ok

    Bunique- how old will your LO be at the wedding? They will be feeding a lot less than they do now, so you probably won't have too many issues- especially if weaning has started.
  8. Why are you going to this wedding when the invitation says 'No babies'? Babies who are breast fed should be with their mothers.
  9. Ignoring the previous post (God forbid a full-term breastfeeder dare to leave their child once in three or more years... It's comments like that which discourage people from bf'ing in the first place as they're lead to believe they'll never get out of the house! [​IMG])
    She'll be 7 and a half months so I'm reckoning on about 4 hourly feeds maybe? - she's quite small so I don't think she'll be speeding ahead with weaning and probably only nibbling bits at that stage (planning to BLW). I'm quite looking forward to having some quiet time with her in the day to be honest!
    clematis - you're right about drinking while feeding as far as I know - and I have, haha. It feels a bit cheeky, but it makes sense!
  10. Hehe! I'm sure it won't hurt them- I had one or two drinks during my time as a BF mum- we are only human. Just as long as they don't get any of it (disclaimer!)
    Re: your wedding bunique; at 7 and a half months is when I went back to work and little lady was having an early morning bf, a mid-morning bf, mid-afternoon, and then bedtime. We BLW too. Hope that helps!
  11. Yep, no offence taken, thanks Bunique. Breastfed babies can still be bottle fed, in fact, our baby wouldn't be doing so well if she hadn't have been bf and ff (imagine that!).

    Do you have to have access points in your wedding dress?

    I'm not usually fussed about drinking these days cos I've gone a long while without much of it so I don't really need to get drunken. I have the odd glass of wine at the moment and don't worry about it.

    Thanks for your advice everyone. We will leave little baby at her grandparents' (with some ebm) which is 70 miles from the wedding place so won't be able to feed her until I get back. I think I will get some batteries and maybe improvise some how with a tub of sterile stuff. I agree that I hate wasting stuff and will try to save the expressed milk somehow - I can never quite have enough of that so it really would be a shame to chuck it away.
  12. It does help clematis, thank you! That might mean she'll only need one or two expressed feeds, maybe last thing so I can really let my hair down in the evening ;)
    Sorry for hijacking your thread mousee [​IMG]
    No, I hadn't really thought about it when I chose it!! I think it'll be a case of having my mum on hand to undo it all then do it back up. I'll be glad of the opportunity to not have to keep holding everything in, haha.
    She'll be fine - you might want to leave more milk than you think though - if the grandparents are anything like my OH they'll try to give milk when she's not hungry and by then it's been warmed up and they deem it unusable and it gets thrown away!
    I think (but don't quote me) that a tupperware box with the lid placed at an angle on top but not closed, with a couple of cms of water in the bottom and microwaved serves as a good alternative to a steriliser if you're in need of one. If the hotel has a microwave you could blast the various bits in there for a couple of minutes if necessary? Or boil the bottles/teats/valves in a pan of water for 5 minutes.
  13. I was not meaning that a breastfeeding mother should never leave their baby. Why does the wedding invitation say 'No babies'? It is a genuine question. I had my children 30+ years ago and I was never barred from taking my babies anywhere that I can remember.
  14. Marib: the invite says no babies just because they didn't want babies there, then they realised that was inpractical for people so they have hired a creche. But as I say we can't really take little baby because we can't afford proper accommodation.

    Clematis: I don't warm ebm because she doesn't mind it cold and also for the reason that I don't want to throw it away. I think I will leave them a bit of formula too, just incase and I can't always get much out when I express anyway - although LO seems to be getting as much as she wants, so I'm not worried about supply.

    I was going to fill a water tight box with miltons and do it that way.
  15. Ah, have never used Milton so wasn't sure if that would work! I'm sure you'll have a great time!

    Marib - apologies if I misinterpreted your post
  16. My LO is BLW, quite small (just on 9th percentile) and a frequent feeder- at 8 months still feeds relatively often but would be managable for a wedding day- actually my wedding day was so tiring, the peace would have been nice.... she can be distracted quite well by a bit of solid stuff... not sure how often she feeds, so varied.... still after each meal, but no longer with the hourly feeds.... You can't really predict a demand fed baby!

    Anyhow. Mousee.... hope you're gradually feeling more confident. I do drink a little bit - I think they veto it to try and stop the binge drinkers: they say they can have a little- they push the boundaries and drink too much.
    I was also told the best time to drink is during a feed. Might get a few raised eyebrows. I did read, once the alcohol has left the system- your milk is clear, and it takes about 1 hr for one unit of alcohol to leave.
    TBH, if you have a small baby- you don't want to be tired/hungover so you don't drink much anyway,

  17. thanks moomoon. our l.o. is also only on the 9th centile (or she was 3 weeks ago & i don't think she's suddenly got massive). she only eats a little bit sometimes every few hours, sometimes more frequently but as you say it's hard to know how often she feeds cos i don't write it down and she is not interested until she asks for it. i've heard about the crinking during a feed before too. I'm sure I'll figure something out for this wedding. I'm quite resourceful so I'm sure i'll manage with the equipment, i'm just a bit bothered by what to wear seeing as we're living on a VERY tight budget!
  18. Maybe the difference is that my baby is/was on the 75th... we demand fed too but like I said, by 7 months she was on four feeds a day. She also seemed to take in quite a lot of the solids we gave her (piggy!) Hope it goes well mousee x x
  19. I don't know about anyone else but I use bf'ing as the solution to almost all 'problems' - hungry? feed! tired? feed! grumpy? feed! hot? feed! bored? feed! I think if I was only feedimg her when she was actually hungry we'd only be on 4-6 feeds a day, so at a wedding I'd probably use more distraction techniques between feeds instead :)
  20. True- if in doubt, nipple out!
    Seems to work though and I do feed less often..... but more than 4 times a day and I do think she does want it now.

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