Harrypop1, Sorry to hear about your troubles- relationship breakdown is extremely painful and the pain is magnified when children are involved. It seems to me that the children are suffering doubly. Firstly they are missing their father, and also because the are now suffering through lack of money. I would be more concerned about your children and the impact of the lack of money on them than anything else... As regards the rest... If this CSA payment has been agreed through the courts then you must go through the solicitor, provide details of your new job and salary and approach the court to have the CSA payment reduced. Is pride really worth losing contact with your children? Why are you avoiding going through the solicitor and explaining the situation - she will read the documents even though you may not stand the sight of each other? You are responsible for not communicating the reality of your situation- so she has had to make assumptions about why the financial support has not been available to the children. Write to the CSA through your solicitors if need be and provide evidence of your current details eg P60, letter from tax office. YOU and ONLY you can sort this out- everything else is simply a diversion to kick the ball in to the long grass.