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help - bullying

Discussion in 'Teaching assistants' started by kittyorca, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. Hi all, I have posted this on the Primary forum but wanted to put it on this forum too as I am a TA and think you might all understand my situation.
    I would reallty appreciate some advice. My little girl is begging me
    almost daily (including in the holidays) to change her school as she is
    being bullied by one individual (a skilful manipulator) who is turning
    her friends against her leaving her alone at playtimes. Her teacher and
    the head don't seem very interested but I see it all the time as I do
    lunch duty (which I hate because of this). I don't feel they see the
    situation properly as she is fine in lessons and loves them, She just
    wishes there was no playtime or lunch break. I'm in a bit of a tricky
    situation as I work at the school and I feel that I'm always going on
    about this but nothing ever seems to get done.
     
  2. Hi all, I have posted this on the Primary forum but wanted to put it on this forum too as I am a TA and think you might all understand my situation.
    I would reallty appreciate some advice. My little girl is begging me
    almost daily (including in the holidays) to change her school as she is
    being bullied by one individual (a skilful manipulator) who is turning
    her friends against her leaving her alone at playtimes. Her teacher and
    the head don't seem very interested but I see it all the time as I do
    lunch duty (which I hate because of this). I don't feel they see the
    situation properly as she is fine in lessons and loves them, She just
    wishes there was no playtime or lunch break. I'm in a bit of a tricky
    situation as I work at the school and I feel that I'm always going on
    about this but nothing ever seems to get done.
     
  3. tamtams

    tamtams New commenter

    Could you ask a dinner lady at lunch time to observe your daughter and what is going on as this will be more of a back up for you and your daughter. If you are certain that this is bullying towards you daughter then you need to confront you head again hopefully with evidence from another dinner lady, this does need to be stopped immediately. I'm very surprised that your head and the class teacher have not acted on this. Surely the school must have an anti bullying policy that they must follow.
     
  4. I agree with previous comment about reading your school's anti bullying policy. All school's should have one. At my school we have a clear policy for bullying with a step by step guide on how to go about reporting a concern.
    It sounds like your headmaster should be doing a lot more for you. Working at the school shouldn't have any influence on this matter. The fact is your a parent and should be treated like any other mum or dad who's kid(s) goes to your school.
    I do hope your school supports both your daughter and yourself with this very delicate matter.
     
  5. Approach the situation as if you did not work at the school. Talk to the class teacher about what your child is telling you. Remember you are a parent when speaking with the school about your child.
    The language of your post..."bullying", "begging..daily", "skillful manipulator"..."don't seem interested"..causes concern. How objectively are you viewing the situation?
     
  6. Thanks for your replies. I think it is very hard to be objective when you see your child suffering. Also it is why I am seeking advice and trying to get others at school involved to deal with it because obviously I am not the best person to do it.
    I know 'bullying' is a very emotive word and I think it is wise to think twice before using it. Many people might avoid it altogether but it does happen (a lot) at schools. I would of course use different language when talking to the teacher and stick to the facts but for the purposes of this forum where I am able to speak relatively freely, in my opinion it is psychological bullying because what is happening is having an adverse psychological impact on my daughter.
    Anyway thanks again for the advice. It 's a big help.


     
  7. I do understand your situation as I work at the same school as my children too. On occasion I have had to take a step back, keep my mouth shut and let the staff get on with it. If I have a concern I voice it with my "parent" hat on and make this clear. It is very important do this.You are speaking as a parent and must ensure you are listened to as such.
    Your views on the word "bullying" are well observed. I try to steer clear of the word as it is so steeped in emotion; I encourage parents and children who use the word to not use it and instead explain exactly what is happening and what they would like to change.
    That said, it must be incredibly difficult to remain objective in your situation. But terminology such as "psychological bullying" and "psychological effect" are less likely to have the desired effect than stating the facts: what is happening, how this is causing your daughter to feel, what you want the staff (who have a legal duty in regard to your child) to do.

    I wish you and your daughter all the best.




     

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