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HELP ASAP PLEASE! Trailing Partner to Shanghai

Discussion in 'Teaching abroad' started by megan62, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. fsmc

    fsmc Occasional commenter

    Giant red flag.
  2. tk212

    tk212 New commenter

    Not really; I chose to not change mine because of family reasons... nothing more to it - I'm 100% devoted to my husband
  3. blueskydreaming

    blueskydreaming Lead commenter

    Chinese women don't take their husband's surnames when they marry. The school would think nothing of it if you did the same.

    You would need your marriage certificate and passport to get a visa. You would show your passport if challenged by the police, with visa inside, not your marriage certificate (it would mean nothing to them).
    tk212 and Stillstayingjohnson like this.
  4. Stillstayingjohnson

    Stillstayingjohnson Occasional commenter

    I don't think she'd consider double barrelled either... haha

    Thanks for the clarification on this point Blueskydreaming.
  5. fsmc

    fsmc Occasional commenter

  6. dumbbells66

    dumbbells66 Lead commenter

    Have i just woken up in the 1950's ????????o_O
  7. tk212

    tk212 New commenter

    Stillstayingjohnson likes this.
  8. megan62

    megan62 New commenter

    Dude, seriously???????? Are you okay? This is an ADVICE forum, not a place for offensive madness.
  9. megan62

    megan62 New commenter

    Let's get back to the point!!! Does anyone know if there is any invisible red tape in China that might prevent an unmarried couple living together? Or is there a chance the school might not want me living with my partner if I was not employed by the school?
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2017
  10. Stillstayingjohnson

    Stillstayingjohnson Occasional commenter

    I assumed this was a thread for advice, not sweeping generalisations. You must be lonely. I feel for you.

    Obviously I would like to live with my partner. What's the situation in regard to being employed by separate companies and living together? Especially if accommodation is provided rather than a stipend.
    megan62 and blueskydreaming like this.
  11. dumbbells66

    dumbbells66 Lead commenter

    Only seen it happen once, and then they had to choose which one they would take. They obviously took the better option. My current contract and previous one had a clause in them stating pretty much what i just said....if that makes any sense
    Stillstayingjohnson likes this.
  12. Stillstayingjohnson

    Stillstayingjohnson Occasional commenter

    Total sense. Thanks for the information.
  13. fsmc

    fsmc Occasional commenter

    OK buddy. Your fiance not changing her name is still a huge red flag.

    If convention dictated it, yes. However, I'm a man, and convention dictates that it's the woman who changes her surname.

    A woman not yielding on this issue bodes poorly overall. Shows she'll be highly argumentative, inflexible and will fight you every step of the way to get what she feels she's 'entitled' to.

    It's a bit like that guy from the UK a few years back who took their employer to court over a work dress code that had males wear a tie and females not. I can guarantee that guy is a high maintenence employee, and one that companies would be well served to avoid. Irrespective of whether they had a point or not, it shows a self-centred and stubborn attitude.
  14. tk212

    tk212 New commenter

    Thanks for life guidance and psychological analysis of women. However, this is a forum regarding different aspects of teaching internationally. If you haven't got any advice to give apart from negative opinions as I can see from other threads, then I would propose that your views are not required. Thank you and best of luck for your job hunt.
  15. fsmc

    fsmc Occasional commenter

    Threads can veer off into seperate topics, that's the nature of an internet forum.

    Just the way you've posted on this thread kinda makes my point for me.
  16. wrldtrvlr123

    wrldtrvlr123 Occasional commenter

    Considering your obsession with Thailand (and all that goes with it in your case), you are not likely to ever have to worry about a woman changing her name for you. So, that's good. You know, one less thing. :D
    grdwdgrrrl and blueskydreaming like this.
  17. Helen-Back

    Helen-Back Occasional commenter

    It is quite common for Canadians not to change their names when they get married. This has never been an issue for my wife and I. Chinese don't change their names either, do they?
  18. Helen-Back

    Helen-Back Occasional commenter

    Actually, it appears that women from Taiwan, Korea, Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and several others don't change their names when getting married.
  19. ejclibrarian

    ejclibrarian Established commenter Community helper

    It's very common and indeed it now seems strange to me when women do change their names. Maybe I'm just a nasty feminist.

    If you are employed by different schools and both offer accommodation/allowances, then you need to choose one and take that. You can't have both.

    If you're unmarried and only one of you is working, then you've got problems in terms of visas. As far as the school caring if the two of you are living together, I doubt they will care. It's the immigration situation that is the problem more than anything.
    Stillstayingjohnson likes this.
  20. the hippo

    the hippo Lead commenter Community helper

    Hmm. Two Chinese policemen came to our apartment the other week. I am jolly glad that I have the blueish Chinese Z visa, so I would not recommend anyone to come to teach in China without one of them stuck into your passport.

    When Mrs. Hippo and I were in Romania, we never had proper working visas and so we were forever going to Bulgaria. That was not too much of a problem because we were busy buying and renovating a house in Bulgaria, as regular readers of the pachyderm's ramblings will know. Eventually Romania joined the EU and this solved our problem.

    Now it is CNY. The sun is shining here in the Philippines, the sky is blue and it is time for this lazy old hippo to go for a swim.
    ejclibrarian likes this.

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