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Heart's not in it anymore!

Discussion in 'Career clinic' started by meep28, Oct 13, 2017.

  1. meep28

    meep28 New commenter


    I have just entered my 3rd year teaching at a new school and whilst I thought this would be a new start I have come to realise that my heart's not in the profession anymore. I think I imagined trying a new school (which is great, fab staff etc) would be one last chance at giving teaching a go but 6 weeks in I'm filled with dread at the thought of having to stick it out until July.

    With the October resignation deadline coming up I am feeling some pressure to decide if this is for me. If I do decide to leave I feel guilty about leaving staff in the lurch and GCSE students with a change in teacher mid-year. However, I feel like my mental well-being is seriously suffering. I've burst into tears several times over the past couple of weeks as soon as I get home. The job is definitely affecting my health and I currently feel very overwhelmed.

    Whenever I'm not working I'm always thinking of school. I've come to realise that I don't want a job that impinges on my home life. I currently have no mortgage or children, so am in a good position to consider another career. I wouldn't be taking a wildly excessive pay cut as I haven't been teaching long.

    A colleague of mine says that if you don't enjoy teaching you need to get out, but I'm not sure how HoD etc will react. Should I stick it out longer?

    Any thoughts would be helpful!
  2. mrajlong

    mrajlong Established commenter

    Go! You are young and free. A lot of older teachers are trapped in the profession and would go if they could (mortgage etc). You only get one go at life - find something that you enjoy, or at the very least doesn't reduce you to tears on a regular basis. Ultimately, your mental health will suffer. Is the job or any reaction of colleagues worth that much? No, it is not. Good luck
    chirpyandcheerful likes this.
  3. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Go now. Run for the hills and don't look back.
  4. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    Plan what you are going to do and leave if you can.

    The normal platitude is to say things will improve. If you have already moved recently, it would be problematic trying yet another school. I have heard nothing to indicate that teaching is going to improve in any way. You could become stuck in this occupation as you take on financial commitments, so now is the time to decide.
  5. Alldone

    Alldone Established commenter

    Don't worry about what your HOD thinks about you leaving. He's probably thinking "lucky devil, young enough to leave, wish I could do the same. Get out now. You could always go back in to teaching, if it improves at all in the future. Other alternatives if you still want to be a teacher is go overseas to teach.
  6. meep28

    meep28 New commenter

    Wow wasn't expecting such a reaction! This makes me feel better and also makes me realise I'm probably overthinking it (even though it is a big decision). Hopefully doing supply would give me the time and space to think about a future career, if I don't find a new job between now and January.
  7. Yoda-

    Yoda- Lead commenter

    Supply is a very unsure way of making a living. Day to day is very scarce this year in my experience. Long term makes you do your current job for less. If you're going to leave try and do something else...
  8. JohnJCazorla

    JohnJCazorla Established commenter

    Absolutely agree with the posters above.
    More importantly, So What to the thoughts of the HoD etc.... they will cope. They managed before you came and will manage equally when you've gone. Your health is vastly more important than their fleeting opinion of your leaving.

    You've got to know when to walk away.... know when to run.
    The Gambler - Kenny Rogers
  9. meep28

    meep28 New commenter

    Thanks for the wise words! I'm also concerned leaving in December looks bad on my CV, only 4 months in the job... Thanks for the advice re. Supply. Might have to think it through a bit more. It's hard to tell what the jobs market is like and whether I could secure something between now and January.
  10. drvs

    drvs Lead commenter

    Don't be. People who are unhappy with their own choices (or lack of them) tend to project their desires onto others.

    Moving schools is stressful, hard work and unsettling. It removes chunks of your foundations of psychological wellbeing: sense of belonging, sense of achievement and feeling of being influential all take a back seat while you reestablish yourself. It's a struggle. 6 weeks in is not the right time to make a career decision IMO as you are not on balance.

    My suggestion would be to seek help in shifting your emotional attachment and the way you see the importance of the job so that it doesn't affect you so severely - particularly the issues of crying and overthinking while outside of school - this is a trait that may well follow you into whatever you choose to do next so would be better addressed than run away from. It could limit you in any field of endeavour.

    You would benefit, in my opinion, for putting your house in order while seeing the year out - during that time you can plan accordingly to either continue in the same school or shift career path. I agree that another school move would be a poor idea.

    Good luck.
  11. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Teaching is really only something you can do properly if you really want to do it.

    If you fall out of love with it then it beomes impossible.

    You have many years ahead - I would be looking for another job outside of teaching.

    Forget supply.
    pepper5, BYusuf, Tinycat1234 and 2 others like this.
  12. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    You have to have the right sort of personality and skill set to follow any career. I didn't ("quite";);)) have the skill set to be a professional footballer - so I wasn't.
    You've given teaching a go. More than some jobs, partly because it is so intensely people (pupils and colleagues) focused, partly because of the sheer effort of doing the job your emotions get more tied up with the job than I suspect is the case with some other jobs.
    This makes jumping ship harder than if you were, say, a shelf stacker in a supermarket, where the move to something else would not involve nearly so many emotions (although the closure of my local Co-op did upset quite a lot of the staff, and not just the loss of the job.)
    You're young enough to be able to move on and use your university educated skill set elsewhere.
    Good luck.
  13. EmilyLParry

    EmilyLParry New commenter

    I was in the same position as you this time last year - I did decide to stay until the end of the academic year but that was mainly down to my GCSE classes. I decided before the October half-term that I was going to leave, spoke to my HoD and my headteacher by Christmas and officially handed my notice in just after the Christmas break. I left in July and I, honestly, have never been happier.

    I found that my teaching role made a huge impact on my physical and mental health and the only way to change that was to change jobs. I always thought I was cut out to be a teacher but apparently I wasn't. My physical health has improved like you wouldn't even believe - blood pressure is down, sleeping better, eating better etc. My mental health is also improving (taking a little bit longer but I'm getting there.) I would say, regardless of whether there is another job waiting for you, if you need to get out, do so. I left before I found a new job and I would rather struggle for cash for a little while than struggle with my own health.

    I wish you all the luck in the world.
  14. meep28

    meep28 New commenter

    Unfortunately my circumstances have changed recently which means financially I can't just up and leave at the moment. However I am seriously thinking of leaving in July. Out of interest what do you do now? Did you find it difficult to find a job as an 'ex teacher'
    pepper5 likes this.
  15. meep28

    meep28 New commenter

  16. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Lead commenter

    Sorry to hear that. Have things become any clearer in your head now?
  17. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    One of my colleagues is like that - they turn up at the last possible minute in the morning and leave as early as possible. Turn up late for lessons - don't make much effort and do minimal preparation and marking.

    I wonder why they still do it as the person concerned is always telling the kids that they don't need the money.
  18. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Lead commenter

    Spot on. Well done Emily for finding a new life.

    I've been looking into the effects of high blood pressure recently (courtesy of those utterly brilliant Osmosis.org videos*) and I appreciate more than I had done that the effects are cumulative. If something was raising my blood pressure, I would take it very seriously indeed.

    Struggling with one's health is also extremely time and money-consuming. So OP, I'd say leave as soon as possible. It's your health, not your HOD's.

  19. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Lead commenter

    Found the video on high blood pressure, if anyone's interested...:


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