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headteacher dilemma!

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by bkc78, May 15, 2011.

  1. bkc78

    bkc78 New commenter

    I'm not sure what to do. I have a feeling that my headteacher does not like me. I have only been working there for 2.5 years but she always questions my request for special leave (for hospital appts etc) and never anyone else....
  2. How do you know she doesn't ask others also?
    Do you have an "excessive" number of appointments? Hence she asks due to this being out of the ordinary?
    Are you covered under DDA?
  3. It is part of her job to know where you are during class time.
    Just show her your appointment card.
    And if she doesn't like you, so what? Believe me, as you go through life,
    you will meet colleagues (& parents) who do not like you! [​IMG]
    There are worse things than being disliked by your Head.
  4. langteacher

    langteacher Occasional commenter

    in what way is this a dilemma? You have a hospital appointment....HT asks for proof....you show the proof!

    Don't see the problem
  5. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    It is always nicer and easier to work for a HT who you get on well with, but it isn't essential.

    If you don't like where you are then start looking for another post. That really is the only thing to do, from what you posted.
  6. leadlearner

    leadlearner New commenter

    How many requests for Special Leave do have you requested in the last year? They are only doing their job. If they are hospital appointments etc absoutely fair enough, but some staff do appear to want to take days off fairly frequently......
  7. ' I'm not sure what to do.  I have a feeling that my headteacher does not like me.  I have only been working there for 2.5 years but she always questions my request for special leave (for hospital appts etc) and never anyone else...'

    The deal here is that your HT, by their attitude and manner is encouraging you to feel bad about being in a situation outwith your control. A HT who was able to empathise with you would behave differently, the outcome as regards time off would have been the same and you would not be left feeling bad. I think it would be helpful for you to have a read at some of the threads here on workplace bullying. A good place to start might be the thread on opinion about Harry Sally Sam & Tim.

    More importantly, by recognising the HT's intent in behaving the way they do (in this case to make you feel bad and them feel good), then you can take control and decide not to react the way they expect.

    Finally, your feeling that they don't like you suggests that you try to be liked and I imagine try to please. To a good manager these are positive traits. To a bully, they are traits to be exploited.

    Get onto 'Amazon' and buy the book 'Nasty People' it provides an interesting perspective that I guarantee will make a positive difference to your outlook.
  8. langteacher

    langteacher Occasional commenter

    Sorry but I just do not see where the problem is here. How would you know if the HT is asking other members of staff about hospital appointments?

    If you have a genuine reason to be off and evidence to back it up then I just don't see what the issue is at all. i don't see any evidence of any bullying going on. I just see that if they are paying your wages and you are not going to be there then they need to know why. I don't get how this is bullying in any way shape or form.
    grow up!
  9. With respect, I think you are missing a clear suggestion of a negative attitude and manner on the part of the HT being at least percieved by the OP. The advice here is for the OP to <u>choose</u> not to feel bad when there is nothing to feel bad about. If there is a negative intention on the part of the HT, the OP should be recognising that and not reacting to it (even though, her/his natual reaction is to react as if they are looking for a favour from someone unwilling to help).
    Bullying - who knows, who cares? --- the linked threads might or might not be relevant.

  10. frymeariver

    frymeariver New commenter

    There is a difference between managing employees and being a bully. Using such a powerful word glibly diminishes its power. The headteacher is perfectly entitled to ask and the OP has no idea whether other staff are asked the same questions so I see no evidence of bullying.
  11. <font size="1">This entire
    thread appears to be about the OP's perception that she is in some way being
    bullied for being asked about their attendance at medical appointments - with
    the point that she does not have a RIGHT to attend WITH pay, unless covered
    under DDA, so the HT is effectively doing their job, enquiring why the
    necessity of appointment for the sound running of the school.</font>

    The OP has not -
    unless I missed it - elaborated further to the frequency of these appointments,
    which could be causing the HT justifiably operational difficulties.

    Could the OP
    schedule these appointments outside of school times? Or at times less likely to
    cause difficulties for their colleagues?

  12. langteacher

    langteacher Occasional commenter

    there are a lot of assumptions being made here, all we know is that the OP has been asked for evidence of hospital appointments.
    we have not been told how many they have had and whether they necessitate full days or just an hour or so, we only have the OP's word that other people are not asked to provide evidence. What HT would not ask for evidence?
    if asking for evidence leads to someone feeling bullied then I would question whether they are in the right job.

    Op please come back and elaborate. If there is genuine bulling going on then I am sorry for you but on the strength of what we have been told, all I see is a HT doing their job

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