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Having a rant

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by pinknailvarnish, Dec 27, 2011.

  1. pinknailvarnish

    pinknailvarnish New commenter

    Hi everyone, hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

    Just need to have a rant about my OH! AAAHHHH!!

    I'm 33 weeks pregnant now and I really thought he would start to show a bit more interest in our baby by now :-( He hasn't been shopping with me for any baby bits; me and my mum have ended up buying most of it as he says we don't need to buy anything until the baby arrives and has refused to decorate the babys room until he arrives.

    He has a 5 seater car, whereas mine is only 2, so I have been trying to sort out buying a different car for myself, yet again no help whatsoever. (I personally think we should keep my car as its cheaper to run, and for him to use it for work and I will use his but he doesnt want to do that).

    Also we have a separate washing machine and tumble dryer. The tumble dryer is kept in the babys room but I keep explaining to him that we cannot have it in his room when he is born, so I have suggested selling them both and getting a washer dryer. Surprise surprise, he does not want to do this and says tough I should have thought about this 3 years ago when I brought them!!!!!

    To add to my list of whinges, I didnt feel baby move much last night so was upset this morning, instead of counting kicks with me he just wanted sex.


    So stressed and annoyed!! Sorry for the long rant but I just want him to understand that his son is due in 7 weeks and needs a bedroom/moses basket/clothes etc!!!

    I have tried talking to him but he keeps saying wait until the baby arrives ...

    Sorry again for the rant :-/

    P.s This baby was planned and wanted! Reading this through my husband sounds like an ****!!!

  2. Rant away varnish - we all have at some point. I too have a tempremental OH (LO is now a year old). OK, he did show interest about the baby but he showed no understanding of what I went through post-birth (when I was crying over nothing as I was hormonal, he got cross because I was effectively making a fool of myself. Many a times we did nearly split in this last year but I have come to the decision that that's how he is. We have very different ideas on how LO should be raised and many a time I've felt I do everything (except when he wants to do the nice bits) - I call it Single Parent Syndrome (where you effectively feel like a single parent).
    He is much better now that LO is a bit more exciting as it were.
    I'm sorry this isn't what you want to hear and in fact does not help you in the slightest. However, it is meant to make you realise you are certainly not alone with an OH who just 'doesn't get it'.

    I think there are two things you can do - depending on your OH. Either you can tell him how he makes you feel (if I said this to OH, it'd fall on deaf ears and make OH sulk with me, thereby making me feel even more isolated) or you can accept that's how he is, and whilst you're not forgiving him for his behaviour, you are making yourself have an easier life.
    Many would disagree as it then leads him to believe that how he is acting is acceptable. However, when the baby is born you are going to need every ounce of support you can get and a moody OH is definitely not going to help.
    Not sure I've helped, but good luck with everything.
  3. The reason your OH sounds like a bit of an **** is because that is how he is behaving at the moment.
    I would, in this order:
    Show him your OP.
    If this has no effect,
    do you have any mutual friends who have already had a baby who could talk to him? Or,
    would his mother help to kick his **** into gear? Or,
    if this is really stressing you out, tell the midwife who will bend his ear about it, it's part of their job!
    You will need his permission to swap cars (and if money is tight I think you should persevere with this issue) but you don't need his permission to change the white goods - just go ahead and buy a washer dryer and stick the others on ebay.
    Good luck.
  4. pinknailvarnish

    pinknailvarnish New commenter

    Thanks for replies. I'm just carrying on doing bits and pieces myself! Started washing baby's blankets/clothes etc this morning, he hasn't bothered to look at any of it!

    I go on maternity leave in 2 weeks so if he hasn't at least painted the room I will do it myself with my mums help! I keep explaining that the fumes need to be gone but apparently it doesn't matter! Aaaahhh!!

    I've seen a bargain washer/dryer online so again I will order it myself when I'm on maternity leave and get the men from comet to install in, then put the others on ebay!

    Car still an ongoing issue ....!

    I will keep nagging and speak to the midwife next week as its really driving me nuts!

    Thanks all, xx
  5. If it was my husband I would ask him what was worrying him and talk to him about how you are feeling I think it sounds like he is in denial and they do find the idea of becoming fathers scary (eg money etc, old fashioned notion of being 'provider', even though you probably dont see it that way.) However once that was out of the way I would tell him about the car swap and when he was painting the nursery. I mean for goodness sake you have carried a baby around for 9 months and are going to go through a major physical upheaval a few hours painting and driving a different car is hardly a lot to ask is it?

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