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Have you been persuaded into volunteering for anything yet?

Discussion in 'Retirement' started by sally90, Sep 25, 2017.

  1. sally90

    sally90 Occasional commenter

    Hello Newbie Retirees!:)
    Hope you're all enjoying your new-found freedom:D On the flip side of enjoying lunch/coffee with friends, everyone's suddenly trying to rope me in to help with their organisations/ pet projects and I'm trying so hard to be diplomatic! I can sense when these conversations are veering towards the subject,and sometimes I feel like a bit of a sitting duck there,with my cappuchino and my chocolate brownie which my friend insists on paying for because she would just LOVE for me to come and help with her lunch group/Coffee Afternoon or whatever!
    I have a lifetime of service in volunteering ,through Church Youth Groups, Sunday School,Church Council, Committees,etc etc,and dropped many of those when teaching started to get silly some years ago.Now I really want some 'Me' time while I get into some sort of a routine.I'm also ' Rota'd Out' - recovering from being expected to do certain things in certain places at certain times at school :(.I don't want any any more of that kind of commitment for the time being,thank you! Am I being selfish? Has anyone else on here found that suddenly lots of people want/ expect a slice of your time?I feel guilty just writing this as I've always done so much in the past!:(:(
     
    SundaeTrifle and Boogum like this.
  2. catmother

    catmother Lead commenter

    No.
     
    bevdex, wanet, sally90 and 1 other person like this.
  3. lizziescat

    lizziescat Star commenter Forum guide

    Yup, my response was,
    "I've made a decision not to commit to anything for 12 months , whilst I recover from teaching and work out which projects I can best give my talents to"

    (Nobody came back after 12 months to ask)
     
    SundaeTrifle, bonxie, bevdex and 6 others like this.
  4. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Brilliant response. :) Not likely to offend and as you say people often don't come back to you after that length of time.
     
    sally90 likes this.
  5. sally90

    sally90 Occasional commenter

    Indeed! I shall remember that one-thank you!:D
     
    lizziescat, wanet and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  6. stopwatch

    stopwatch Occasional commenter

    As I have mentioned in other threads, I did a 'mini retirement/retirement warm-up' about 2 years ago (working again now though).

    I quite quickly, and somewhat foolishly, signed up to 3 separate community groups. It was surprising how much time it took up and also how it restricted other things I could do - including paid work

    I very much plan on taking the tack suggested above when I do the final finish this June 2018.;)
     
    sally90 and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  7. ljr

    ljr New commenter

    I did that, but said two years, and two years almost to the day I was reminded of what I'd said and asked again if I'd join the governing body of the local primary school. I did say yes this time and haven't regretted it yet.
     
  8. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    I know how you feel. Just starting my 4th year of retirement and am involved in so many different groups & committees. BUT I have chosen them, only responding positively to those I really want to do.

    However, the last one was a reluctant yes, because I am not sure I can give it the time it needs. Those involved know that and seem happy with it.

    Selfish? No - this is my playtime, and I am now doing the things I never had time to do when working, or the things I opted out of for the same reason (and my list is almost the same as yours!!).

    Enjoy yourself - you've earned it. When you're well rested, you'll want to get involved in things again.
     
    sally90 likes this.
  9. Boogum

    Boogum New commenter

    You are certainly not selfish Sally. You deserve your time to yourself to recuperate. I'm still sleeping for around 14 hours a night after retiring in July. I feel lazy, but it's bliss and I am actually sleeping! (apart from the 3 am nightmares feeling that I have not done any prep for tomorrows lesson). But it passes.
    I took your advice from a previous thread Lizziescat. Been telling everyone that asks that I'm taking a gap-year before deciding what I want to do. I will willingly volunteer for short term one off things that I want to do - helping clear the neighbours garden, take Mrs C over-the-road shopping when she broke her wrist, that kind of thing, but nothing permanent and nothing that I can't see an end to.
    So far, I've not had any bad feedback and have had quite a few people tell me it is a great idea and they wish they'd done it,
     
  10. dogpile

    dogpile New commenter

    Like many retired teachers, I felt I had to 'do something' and joined Citizens Advice. Whilst I liked dealing with the public (I think our years of experience with distressed kids and parents comes in handy) I began to be increasingly aware of 'office politics' and general miserableness of the permanent staff. I realised I didn't need it anymore and resigned. I will probably do some voluntary work again, but TBH I am enjoying not doing anything for the first time since a child. And I don't feel any guilt!
     
  11. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I've thought about it....but I'd rather have free time to myself. If I were single, I'm sure I'd have done something. But I'm not, and love the option to go away whenever. For example this year we've had trips away (all 3 days to 9 days), at either hoe or abroad in Feb, March, April, May, June, July, August, September...and will do in October & maybe in November.
     
    eljefeb90, frangipani123 and sally90 like this.
  12. Piranha

    Piranha Lead commenter

    I retired a year ago, and volunteered to mentor on a national Maths scheme. It helps me keep my brain going (some of the problems are rather tricky) and is not at fixed times so I can fit it in when I want. It certainly does not stop me going away when I want - it even gives me something interesting to do on planes and trains.
     
    SundaeTrifle likes this.
  13. Jolly_Roger1

    Jolly_Roger1 Star commenter

    I have found that 'volunteering' has become something of a racket. I do not mind giving my time for free but I object to being asked to pay for the privilege, as many charities seem to expect. Not only do some of them expect you to pay for DBS checks,PPLI, and 'training courses' but also to be monthly contributors, by DD.
     
  14. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter


    Really?

    What a cheek! Glad I haven't 'volunteered' then!
     
    seasoned likes this.
  15. diamondjane

    diamondjane Occasional commenter

    I've been officially retired two years now and I think I've now got the balance right after feeling somewhat lost for the first 8 months or so. I do volunteer - (one day a week, supporting witnesses in court) and I enjoy it. I get that bit of teamwork and meeting people that I no longer had when I left teaching. But I have holidays and time off whenever I want.

    The grandchildren childcare was more difficult for me as I really didn't want to finish spending all day with the under fives, just to spend all day with the under fives! I struggled with feelings of guilt about not wanting to do it and feelings of resentment when I did look after them. But now it has settled into a pattern of not too much but regular grandchildren time and I'm enjoying the experience. Especially as nobody is telling me what I should be doing and looking over my shoulder to check!

    In amongst that I go to the gym, walk the dog, meet friends for coffee and spend time out with my husband doing things we enjoy but never had time for when working. He's newly retired and still feeling guilty about not working having done so for over 40 years, but I don't have a problem with that
     
  16. Piranha

    Piranha Lead commenter

    Just say no! The organisation I mentor with pays all expenses, and puts on occasional conferences with food and accomodation (if needed) included.
     
  17. thistledoo

    thistledoo Senior commenter

    It has taken me a year to recover!
    I expected to and wanted to do some volunteer work but I really do not have the time, neither do I want to be 'tied''.
     

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