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Has anyone given up work?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by anon736, Feb 17, 2011.

  1. I have submitted my request for part-time hours (0.5 - split as a job-share with another member of my department), but am almost certain that it will be turned down. Hubby and I have definitely decided that I won't go back full-time, so it's looking like the only option is for me to give up work completely. I'm just interested to hear whether there is anyone else on here that has done the same? My husband is self employed and those months when work is scarce (of which there have been more lately), money will be VERY tight. And, of course, there is always the possibility that he could have a couple of months without earning anything!?! However, there is no way that I'm prepared to go back full-time and hardly ever see my little boy. I'm secondary English in a high-achieving school so the work load, particularly marking, is huge. If anyone has any tips or thoughts I'd really appreciate hearing them, especially as I don't know anybody in real life who hasn't gone back to work.
     
  2. I have submitted my request for part-time hours (0.5 - split as a job-share with another member of my department), but am almost certain that it will be turned down. Hubby and I have definitely decided that I won't go back full-time, so it's looking like the only option is for me to give up work completely. I'm just interested to hear whether there is anyone else on here that has done the same? My husband is self employed and those months when work is scarce (of which there have been more lately), money will be VERY tight. And, of course, there is always the possibility that he could have a couple of months without earning anything!?! However, there is no way that I'm prepared to go back full-time and hardly ever see my little boy. I'm secondary English in a high-achieving school so the work load, particularly marking, is huge. If anyone has any tips or thoughts I'd really appreciate hearing them, especially as I don't know anybody in real life who hasn't gone back to work.
     
  3. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    I don't have any advice to offer as I've just applied for 0.5 from September this year, either as a job share or PPA/ release cover (primary). I've worked full time for 4 years and find the workload immense, partly for reasons unique to my school. My head is considering it but if she says no I'll work the 13 weeks full time, 6 of which will be summer hols, then give up work. We could survive on hubby's wage alone with no treats or holidays, would be a bit rubbish in that respect but we do have savings and there's no way I'm doing full time and missing out on my little girl. I know people that do this and respect them for working so hard to fit everything in, but it's just not for me. One of my friends teaches secondary English (with no kids though) so I know the workload is massive.
    Best of luck with your request x
     
  4. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Also meant to say, if you do give up work could you do some tutoring for GCSE/ A level in the evenings? My mum did this when she was at home with me and it helped to make some cash. You can charge £25 an hour easily.
     
  5. I am not intending to go back to work. LO is almost 4 months and I had planned to go back in July full time and then do part time from Sept, but looking at the money, there's basically no point in working part time as the cost of childcare would only leave me with £20 or so a week and my LO is worth a lot more than that to me!!
    I also am not prepared to go to work full time while LO is under 3. She is the most important thing in the world to me and unless I had a really good job (I don't particularly like my school) or desperately needed the money, I would not give up the chance to spend her early years with her for anything. Not saying that this is the right thing for every one or any reflection on how anyone else does things, but this is my situation.
    Just read the above and realised that this probably in no way helps you in your situation, but thought I should give my tuppence worth as like you, I haven't met anyone else who's not going back either.

     
  6. I didn't go back either . (Am now doing 1 day now she is 3)
    Money was (and indeed still is) very very tight and the recession did not help, but I would not have missed the time with my daughter for anything....
     
  7. I'm not going back- although our income is obviously much less, we spend less as I spend more time budgeting food etc!
    Anyway, I do a little bit of private tuition- this pays for our food shopping.. but generally term time only. I am also doing a bit of ebay trade which pays for a bit. I bought two bumbos from a car boot for £2 and sold them for a lot more on ebay! But not a reliable source of income!
    If you can get a couple of clients for tuition you can quite good money- one of my clients is happy for me to take the baby and the mum takes her for cuddles, they both love it. If you have a grandparent close enough to take them for an hour or so this can work or when OH is back.
    I think you can do online tuition, but I know nothing about it.
     
  8. It makes me sad when people say they wouldn't give up their time with LO for anything, despite the lack of money.... I know no-one's criticising or intending to upset hormonal pregnant ladies like me but we don't have the choice and I'm going back full time after half term :-(( To be honest I wouldn't want to give up work altogether as I needed something for me, and to use my brain and keep my sanity. One of my friends is a SAHM and is bored. However, part time would have done me very nicely as I do feel I am missing out on precious time with her :-((( Hope all goes well x
     
  9. nigiollabhui

    nigiollabhui New commenter

    I ended up going back after 18 weeks and 6 of those were the summer holidays. So school only missed out for half a term really. I went back after Oct half term 3 days a week and then full time in January. I have to say it was the most difficult time I have ever had at work. Only doing part time I was left out of the loop so much and not seen (treated) as a proper member of the dept. Going back full time was better in a work sense but emotionally such a battle. I had to force myself into complete work mode and try not to think of baby during the day.
    I am back full time a year now and its not necessarily easier to leave in the morning and go to work but more so its a routine and something I have had to do. There are times I want to give it all up and go to work in Tesco or somewhere just to have that time with baby. In one sense I appreciate my time with my little girl more and always try to do activities and settle her into bed at night.
    It is not an easy decision in any way but do what is best for you and baby. Money dictated my decision as I had just bought a house but if I could of survived without the money from work I would be home and doing some sort of part time work.
    Good Luck!
     
  10. I'm anticipating this too- from a work point of view having that day off is a pain as I always go back after my day off to bloody chaos. I'm aiming to leave earlier and have more quality time with her after work. Still feel :-( about it though!
     
  11. Snap too- glad it's not just me.
     
  12. Thanks for the replies ladies - it's nice to know that I'm not the only one. If my part-time request is refused I am going to hand in my notice.
    If that happens, I will definitely try to do some tutoring. Did you advertise Moo, or was it word of mouth?
    On a personal level, I know that I won't regret the decision to give up work, whereas I definitely would regret not spending these precious years with my little boy. I know that not everyone has the choice, so I'm not trying to criticise others. It makes me very sad that the pressures of modern life mean that being a full-time mum has effectively been devalued by society.
    Good luck to all x
     
  13. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I totally agree. I'm lucky in that my school finally did agree to let me do a 0.5 timetable because I couldn't have afforded to give up work, but I didn't want to go full time either. I really hope that your school do allow you to do part time misstutu. Part time isn't perfect though - i haven't had my own classroom (apart from now i'm quite pregnant) and i've been given all the bottom sets that no-one wants! So actually my time at work is very stressful and demoralising at times. However, the time with my son more than makes up for that. It does make me sad though that giving up work for me isn't an option. My mum was able to be off work for a long time when we were kids, and they could afford the mortgage on a 4 bedroom house on my dad's salary. That would never happen now!
     

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