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Harassment at work

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by elw90, Nov 25, 2018.

  1. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

    I am posting as I would like some advice on what to do. I currently work at the same school as an ex partner - who was emotionally abusive and was even with someone else during our short relationship which is why it ended.

    It became impossible to maintain an amicable relationship as he would bombard me with declarations and promises in an attempt to coerce me back into a relationship. As a result, I requested no contact and blocked him on all forums. He did not respect this request and started putting notes on my car at work, letters in my pigeon hole, countless emails, letters posted to my home address as well as even recruiting other members of staff to pass me notes.

    I reported this to the school and after a long battle, a contract has been put in place which puts restrictions on his movements at school so he cannot come to the building I work in etc.

    His fixation and harassment has continued through his social media forums however, so I have made the decision to get a job at another school in the hope that distance may help. Thankfully, I start my new job in April.

    Unfortunately, he has now started using a withheld number to call my mobile and hang up (I have now managed to have unknown numbers blocked). He has also encouraged staff who work with him to find out information about my new employment.

    There has also been incidents of him following me/walking closely behind me on the school campus.

    He has a history of violent behaviour which really alarms me.

    I have informed the police of my concerns and of these incidents.

    I have been put on anxiety medication which has now been increased.

    I don't know what else I can do - I am having nightmares as a result and dread having to go to work as he is there.

    Any advice is very much welcomed.
  2. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    If this is the case, I am surprised he is still working in a school.
  3. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    go back to the police
  4. hs9981

    hs9981 Established commenter

  5. lottee1000

    lottee1000 Occasional commenter

    This isn't harassment at work which would be bad enough, this is harassment in your whole life which is serious and they have to take it as such. I recently reported similar behaviour on behalf of a friend and they were excellent, and seem to have sorted the whole thing. Call again, get a case number and keep asking. Have the police seen him? They should have done.
  6. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

    Initially when I reported it to the police (this has been going on for over a year now), he was called into the station and apparently claimed that I wanted his contact. As a result, I have handed the police a USB stick containing over 70 pieces of evidence as well as physical copies of the letters etc. At this time, I had agreed with the police for the school to put in measures and see if this stopped further harassment.

    I am starting to feel like he won't stop and it is a frightening feeling. On Thursday, I have to attend a parents' evening at school which means being on the grounds until after dark with him. He has previously attempted to corner me at work when given the opportunity.

    I completely agree that his violent behaviour means that he shouldn't be at the school. Only recently was he in a fight which resulted in a broken nose and damaged elbow. Prior to this, he had verbally threatened and physically intimidated my colleague on the school grounds. This was even reported to the Head teacher. I have raised my concerns countless times, but nothing seems to happen.

    I have a doctors' appointment on Wednesday and I am seriously considering taken up their offer of signing me off until at least Christmas. I am, however, worried of any repercussions. If I am signed off, could my Headteacher say anything to my new employment? He has vaguely referenced doing as such, which causes further concern.
  7. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

  8. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    I had something similar once, it went on for years, I complained, nothing happened, I kept complaining, still nothing happened. I was warned by my head to stop complaining, and I stopped complaining. My only regret now is that I stopped. I shouldn't have stopped, I should have complained louder and longer and more often. However much people didn't want to hear.

    He shouldn't be working on a school
  9. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

    I'm really sorry to hear this. Has it stopped now? Is there anything you would advise?

    I don't blame you for giving up - this continuous battle to be heard and believed is exhausting. Despite all the previous evidence I have recorded, I feel I have to keep proving further incidents with reels of evidence. I now have over 100 pieces of evidence.

    My Head even said to me that if I left, it would be the "cowardly" way out.
    curious-cat likes this.
  10. hs9981

    hs9981 Established commenter

  11. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

  12. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    agathamorse likes this.
  13. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    This is a form of stalking, surely... So go to the police and ask them to investigate him under stalking laws.

    As for the school, with Union support, go to the HT and argue that the ex-partner is a risk to you and anyone else he might get a bee in his bonnet about (for example a pupil). This is a CP issue...
  14. SparkMaths

    SparkMaths Occasional commenter

    Have you spoken to the Headteacher? If so see the head again and report your concerns about the parent's evening, I'd even refuse to go if you already have a new job.

    Show them the evidence that you are being stalked and you have reported him to the police, surely the school can see that this guy is going to get his CRB revoked soon?

    Is your new school aware of the situation and supportive?
  15. Stiltskin

    Stiltskin Star commenter

    Sorry to hear you're having to deal with this. Don't buy pepper spray though. Using it could end up with you being charged under Section 5(1) (b) of the firearms act 1968. Even owning it could cause you problems.

    Definitely go to the police. Keep going with evidence so they can build a case against him. Stalking is illegal. Also get in contact with the national stalking helpline for advice:
    National Stalking Helpline
    Telephone: 0808 802 0300
    Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm (except Wednesday 1pm to 4pm)
    National Stalking Helpline

    Regarding the parents evening. Have you spoken to your union rep about this? Tell the school you are not going because you do not feel safe to do so, however you will consider going if sufficient systems are put in place and would like to see the Risk Assessment first, or words to that affect. I'd probably put this in an email in case you need to refer to it in future and cc your union rep in.

    Your headteacher doesn't quite seem to understand the seriousness of the situation, so I would also ask the police to have a word with them about what is happening.
    agathamorse likes this.
  16. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Star commenter

    Police and it is not you who should be leaving the school.

    Talk to Union and get them to make your concerns plain to your HT the school has a duty of care to you.
    agathamorse likes this.
  17. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    Back to the police - the measures taken have not been sufficient.

    Did the fight get reported to the police? Has he had a recent DBS check? It does sound rather as if the head has blinkers on and is assuming that if they can just get through to Easter then everything will be fine.

    Parents' evening - you're going to have to tell someone that you do not feel safe, and ensure that you are not alone during the evening and that someone sees you to your car. If they can't arrange that, do not attend.

    If your GP recommends signing you off, be willing to accept their advice.
    agathamorse likes this.
  18. peapicker

    peapicker Star commenter

    Police and a family lawyer. Union need to liaise with your HT in regard to the employer's duty of care for you. You need an injunction for a non-molestation order.
  19. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

    I've put in writing that this is a safeguarding issue and that I am concerned about his presence at school due to his mental health etc. It doesn't seem to have had any impact which is really frustrating.
    agathamorse likes this.
  20. elw90

    elw90 New commenter

    I think the police were involved with the fight so there should be an official record. It happened in Bath, I assume this would be transferable to local police?

    I think you're right about parents' evening and being signed off.
    agathamorse likes this.

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