1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Haircuts, Earings and Breast Size

Discussion in 'Personal' started by modelmaker, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    My darling wife was dismayed this evening to discover she'd lost one of her best earings. She became aware of this when the bit at the back of her ear landed in her lap. Of the actual earing, there was no sign.
    After an hour or so searching she hadn't found it despite my advice it would be pretty close to where the bit at the back had been noticed.
    She came to the conclusion it must have become dislodged and fallen out during her visit to the hairdresser this afternoon and intended to visit them in the morning to pick through the day's hair clippings.
    "Is there a chance it might be in your pyjama pocket?" I asked, and took a rummage. Lo and behold, there I found it, along with the beginnings of an erect nipple.
    I've since suggested the distress will have been shorter-lived has this occurred to the barmaid in our local whose ample breasts would prevent buttoning up the top half of a pyjama top, let alone leave gaping pockets. In hindsight, I think this advice could possibly have been put a different way. How would you have coped in a similar scenario?

     
  2. Well, first I would have married a different man
     
  3. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

  4. Golden rule: if your wife has a nipple which is becoming erect, it is not advisable to mention barmaids and bosems.
    Or do you think you could keep an erection going if she was talking about the barman's *****?
     
  5. [​IMG]
     
  6. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    I would have asked for a reward for finding the earing lol
    actually you missed the chance and should have searhed more intimately lol


     
  7. ?
    Ohhhhhhhhhh, this is starting to get so...weird.
    Rewards, chances, conversations about barmaids...
    You two have strange ways of making a woman feel amorous...
     
  8. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    Seriously, does your darling wife know you post stuff like this? If you were my OH you wouldn't be for much longer. Have some decency.
     
  9. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Why would anyone keep such a bizarre trophy in their pyjama pocket? Have you any idea to whom the nipple originally belonged? Is Mrs MM a Plastic surgeon who brings her work home or something?
     
  10. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    lol [​IMG] Perhaps all new sculptures are started from nipples.
     
  11. ' If you were my OH you wouldn't be for much longer. Have some decency.'

    I wouldn't mind if my oh posted that. Good that he shows an interest. And made me laugh a lot!
     
  12. Ewwwwwww! Another cringeworthy thread from MM.
     
  13. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    I'm glad you avoided it bunty.
     
  14. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    You have only yourself to blame MM, making a "tit" of yourself! [​IMG]
     
  15. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Earring has 2 R's!
     
  16. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    On this occasion, I have to offer my excuses for the poor spelling on my career. I did at one stage in my life own an engineering business where we made earrings for Injuns.
     
  17. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Maybe you should have branched out into nipple rings for **** stars?
     
  18. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    I certainly would have been interested in such business if my sweetheart would have had allowed it. She was incredibly jealous in those days.
    Mind you, no doubt the industry that markets such products would probably have expected me to also supply penile ornamentation as well, that I find less appealing.
     
  19. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Oh no. You'd be making a dick of yourself then as well.
     
  20. voodoo child

    voodoo child New commenter

    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page