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Had enough....

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Presleygirl, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    I ve been off with stress and I have to say, I’m wondering what on earth I do. Doctor said I was unfit for work, and I was told I was entitled to my wage as aggregated service. Low and behold I’ve been paid statutory sick pay and this is now adding to how I’m feeling.
    I have spoken to edusupport, I am trying to focus on the positives but I’m finding it hard.
    All I want is to go to work and do my job. Hence lies the problem. Union are involved but it seems to be taking ages. Catch 22 got to wait for them and work to decide, can’t register or apply for teaching posts.
    Worried about financial cost ....... I know I should have thought things through better. I spend when I’m fed up. I’m not doing it now..... but I can’t cut my cloth any further. I’ve sorted all the bills etc i do a cull every 6months.
    I’m just feeling very low and it’s hard to talk to anyone as the money side of thing I’ve been stupid, just feel totally useless new year same rubbish.
     
  2. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    I'm so sorry you feel this way. It is a tough time of year, with low light levels and bills coming in. And as you are unwell, it is very difficult.
    You are being paid? Then take the GPs advice and rest. Is the stress work related or otherwise caused? If it's something outside work, can you see a way forward?
    It seems you have been indulging in "Retail therapy". You recognise this was unwise. So what can you do?
    CAB might be able to help if you are in real debt problems.
    Or, on a simple level, can you change credit card to one with a 0% APR for (say) three months, and try to reduce the balance. Then change again before the interest rate comes in. This involves being organised, but you can do that. You are an organised person; you must be to hold down your job! If you are beginning to have debt problems, whatever you do, don't ignore them. They really won't go away!
    Take care.
     
    agathamorse and mothergoose2013 like this.
  3. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    Hi
    Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not as unusual as you might think and is totally solvable.
    StepChange are very good at supporting in a personal finance crisis as are citizens advice. The more steps you take toward resolving your problems the better you will feel about them. Resolving them will also help you move on to new ventures.
    Take care x
     
  4. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    PS: if you have overspent consistently you may have quite a bit to stick on ebay, or could you do a table top / indoor car boot? Zapper / webuybooks are also a way of bringing in extra funds. There are online services that sell your items for you - I guess these would be good if you have a lot of designer gear.
     
    Mermaid7 and agathamorse like this.
  5. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    I’m just feeling really down..... stuff has been books, Resources for work all things to help me. Just feels like it’s junk.
    I’m trying to eat right, exercise and take steps. Now money has just thrown me into a spiral as I can’t see the end of the mess or the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m even getting obsessed with the smart meter, it has a daily limit but I’m restricting that even further.
    Just not sure what else, I’m so fed up.
    Thank you for your ideas x
     
  6. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. Do you have any family support?
     
  7. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    @Presleygirl, you do sound low.
    You are trying hard and it still feels as bad as it did when you were signed off, I think? That's miserable.
    Money worries are difficult. Do you have rent or a mortgage? Can you discuss the mortgage with your bank? If it's rent, is there any way you can talk to the landlord and ask for a little leeway? This will depend on your payment history, obviously, but maybe if you said you'd pay (say) 80% of the rent for the next three months and then the arrears could be added on to the next three months after that, by which time you would hope to be back at work? You can only ask.
    I understand the focus on tiny things like the smart meter; these are things which you feel you can control. But they are not the answer. The money worries need to be faced. Is there any family support? Can you sell stuff as @mothergoose2013 has suggested? Do you have scope for air bnb to make a little extra?
    You have recognised there is an issue and you have told people, albeit anonymously, but that's the first and most difficult step.
    TESSERs are brilliant and will support you through this.
    You will get through, you know!
     
  8. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Lead commenter

    So sorry to hear you are feeling so low, I know too well how you feel.

    Can I ask are you a teacher and how long have you been in post at the school?
     
  9. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    Hi Presleygirl,
    Are you ok? Feeling a little concerned about you after your posts yesterday.
    X
     
    mothorchid likes this.
  10. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    This post since September and yes a teacher
     
  11. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    Mother goose 2013 thank you for asking. I had a really bad day .... just brain couldn’t think of anything else. Letter to say no money from last week. Just made me feel rubbish.

    I took action spoke to union again re letter and pay. Went for a long walk. I’ve support but they don’t really get it.
     
    mothergoose2013 and agathamorse like this.
  12. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    @Presleygirl - how are things?
    Who has written saying you have no money and why? If you have been a teacher for several years, I would have imagined you were entitled to the usual six months full pay and six months half-pay, though having changed jobs this academic year may affect that. I don't know (and don't say) what your specific circumstances are. Union can advise.
    I think the union may have a hardship fund you can access?
    I'm glad to hear you managed a long walk. Well done. How is your diet? Are you managing to eat healthily?
    And how about listing stuff on line to sell and raise money. Go for it - cash in, clutter out. Result!
     
    mothergoose2013 likes this.
  13. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    Union sorting pay out as it’s wrong I’m trying to not say much as don’t want to identify things.
    I’ve just acquired tonnes of books! Mostly teaching. Going to sort shed and see what I can list.
    Think need to do my 0to 5K app again as it clears brain for abit. Eating I’m trying to be healthy, but my appetite isn’t great, I get stressed go off my food. So I have been preparing stuff for me when I do others in house. Sleep ..... off the wall, but better then it was a few weeks ago.
    As for talking to people I usually do but being selective, trying to around people who are just happy to talk about weather.

    It’s crazy I love people and work, but new place led me to being lonely and then hating work. To be honest I hate feeling like that. I want my bounce back.
    The current place is just not me.......
     
    mothergoose2013 and agathamorse like this.
  14. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    @Presleygirl , I hope you are feeling a bit better now and manage to get a good night's sleep. This will work out even though I know that seems impossible now. I hope your union were helpful too.
    Just to show how easy it can be to pull in extra funds in the short term - I made £70 via webuybooks yesterday afternoon, some of my books were just worth 10p and some were rejected entirely, but the ones I got the best prices for were school related. All you have to do is type the barcode into their website to get an offer, you don't have to create an account or give any details unless you decide to make a trade. I know it isn't a massive amount of money, (and I won't actually get it until the end of the week), but if you are on SSP even £30 is a bonus. I also sold a bag of buttons on e-bay for a fiver!
    Take care and keep posting x
     
    TEA2111 and agathamorse like this.
  15. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Lead commenter

    I see now, no service portability anymore. Hence the SSP.

    Hugs and look after yourself.
     
    mothergoose2013 and agathamorse like this.
  16. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    You sound a just a tiny bit brighter - I hope? I did wonder about the money. Hopefully the union can get it sorted and you'll be paid all you should be very soon. You are trying hard to keep positive, I can tell, and doing well.
    Keep b*ggering on...
     
    mothergoose2013 and agathamorse like this.
  17. Presleygirl

    Presleygirl Occasional commenter

    I think thing is the panic I’ve had since weekend has been awful, and I was burying myself as I was scared of everything. It has made me look at myself a lot in terms of everything from how I think, react and my actions.
    I am tight in my belt as I need to. Plus physical things don’t make me happy at at. People want me to feel better.
    I’ve been to the doctor and she said about doing a course of cbt, but said don’t read about it just do it! She recognised that I think a lot and that is clouding things. My headache is still going strong no pain killers sorting it.

    So plan is sort the physical clutter, hopeing to get rid of mental clutter, continue with gratitude diary and have a plan........ and I’m going to run again. Got to stop finding the dark but find the light.

    I guess today is better then yesterday and it’s a start.just got to find away through this.
     
  18. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    @Presleygirl you sound to me as if you are stronger than you realise. Well done.
    Yes, sort the clutter as much as possible. Mental clutter will mysteriously go away too. The running is a good idea and the "Gratitude Diary" sounds very positive. It may take a while for the plan to take shape; that feels like a long time, but if you are fragile, allow that time to pass, and just allow yourself to heal a little.
    Do you have a support system of people around you? Family? Friends? A church group? Anythingl like that?
     
  19. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Lead commenter

    @Presleygirl im sorry you are feeling this way. I have been off work for a long time now with WRS and although I will not be going back to teaching I have improved no end and now that I am feeling better I can see how bad I was and how soul destroying my school was. I just didn't realise at the time as it happened gradually. It does take time to get better. It takes time for the ruminating to stop ( or at least reduce) and this time has to be away from the thing that is causing the stress. Try and use the sick leave to do some things you don't normally have time for such as your running and maybe visiting family and friends. I took myself off for a week to stop with my brother on the coast and although it didn't make me feel immediately better it did help. I also went swimming and out for long walks no matter what the weather.
     
    mothergoose2013 and agathamorse like this.
  20. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    Smart lady! The gratitude journal will work wonders. Sounds like you are closer to locating your mojo. Perhaps feeling so low at weekend has somehow given you a new momentum. Don't try too hard, be kind to yourself as you heal. So glad you feel brighter.
     
    agathamorse likes this.

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