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Had a hell of a bad day... warning: RANT

Discussion in 'Personal' started by disguise, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. I have had enough. I am so stressed at work. The kids are ridiculous kinds of rude. Yr 9 are the worst and many staff have noticed. But I feel like not a single student has any respect for me at the moment. I feel like bursting into tears at the end of every lesson I teach. I am not doing a good job in the classroom, I am not doing a good job as a leader in my team. Nothing I do is good enough. When I try and do something to help people out it gets thrashed back in my face with not so much as a 'thank you but...' I cried most of the drive home. I tried to talk to my LM today about how down/stressed I am feeling but it fell on deaf ears as they have no emotional intelligence. There are no other jobs around (near enough to commute to and I already commute an hour which doesn't help). I never get stuff done at home. I feel on the verge of a meltdown and am expected to do so much. And to top it all off, it's the anniversary of my Grandad's death today and because I was so stressed at work the first moment I had a second to think about him was about 5pm. In the words of the kids: 'FML'.
     
  2. I have had enough. I am so stressed at work. The kids are ridiculous kinds of rude. Yr 9 are the worst and many staff have noticed. But I feel like not a single student has any respect for me at the moment. I feel like bursting into tears at the end of every lesson I teach. I am not doing a good job in the classroom, I am not doing a good job as a leader in my team. Nothing I do is good enough. When I try and do something to help people out it gets thrashed back in my face with not so much as a 'thank you but...' I cried most of the drive home. I tried to talk to my LM today about how down/stressed I am feeling but it fell on deaf ears as they have no emotional intelligence. There are no other jobs around (near enough to commute to and I already commute an hour which doesn't help). I never get stuff done at home. I feel on the verge of a meltdown and am expected to do so much. And to top it all off, it's the anniversary of my Grandad's death today and because I was so stressed at work the first moment I had a second to think about him was about 5pm. In the words of the kids: 'FML'.
     
  3. Wine WINE get that woman a glass of wine! Seriously though, I think that it is in the nature of teaching - the self doubt thing - goming home some days and thinking that we are completely **** teachers and the kids disrespect and jump all over us, etc. I used to despise certain y9 groups who ripped the P out of me - eventually through the year managed to find ways of dealing with those particular individuals and then of course you get a handle on 'em and it is ALL CHANGE for the new term. It is the nature of the job - that failin as a teacher feeling and the culture of teaching these days I think makes it worse. Be assured the little dears will not just be giving you hell on wheels. Y9 at this time of year when their options are being taken and they know they aint taking your subject are demons from hell. Being a demon from hell back helps me quite a bit but maybe that is nto right for you. The anniversary of your grandad's death on top of all of that - a crappy day is just the thing to tip the balance and no wonder. Curse the little so'n so's to hell n back and go in that classroom like an atom bomb tomorrow. Being a 'good' teacher can wait until their behaviour allows you to be one - KNOW that you are not alone in having these daysbut they do pass. Stop being so hard on yourself. xx
     
  4. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    What is FML? I can guess the first word.
    I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your granddad. You have been building up to the anniversary sub-consciously.
    The same happened to me last week. It was the 5th anniversary of my mum's shockingly sudden death at the age of 73. A multitude of annoying things had been happening all week and I couldn't stop weeping; quite embarrassing to have tears trickling down your face at the checkout. It will pass.
    It's also a grey, miserable January and bottom sets can make you feel like the worst teacher in the world. I felt so uplifted by a year 7 child today who, on walking out at the end of the lesson, said: " Thank you for that lesson,miss, I really enjoyed it". I nearly wept with joy!
    Treat yourself to something nice. A lovely box of soaps or something. Or in my case, a nice coat from John Lewis at a bargain price in the sale.
     
  5. Thanks for your reply. It's not just yr 9 although they are the worst. the yr 8s and even 7s run rings round me sometimes. Ok, most times. I find myself losing my temper more and more often. Twice today I have screamed at two separate children and nearly lost it with a third. My threshold is so low. I don't have time to plan anything decent. And when I do it all goes to pot because they behave so badly. I set dets and they don't turn up so I escalate it and then they come back to class and do it again. I feel like I am pestering the heads of year to do something. They say have you called home and I have but it doesn't help. between all this I am laughably dealing with behaviour issues passed up to me by my team. It's stupid because I clearly can't even control my own classes. Kids are laughing in my face and I don't blame them in some ways. I was told today that they have better things to do than my detentions and h/w. The staff are so negative too that there's not even a pick me up type conversation at break or lunch. I seriously feel like I can't go in tomorrow but know I have to.
     
  6. F*** my Life!

    I honestly hadn't considered it til this afternoon. Which makes me feel like a terrible Granddaughter as well as a terrible teacher.
     
  7. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Okay, I am not advocating that anybody just has a day off because of a bad day (if you see what I mean!) but you sound very stressed and exhausted. Would a day or two off help? x
     
  8. grandelf

    grandelf New commenter

    FML = means Fix My Lighthouse back in the 17th Century. Now its F*&^ my life.


    Know how you feel, today was horrible as well. I am currently on a long term supply, no or lack of support within the department.

    As a result I am looking at saying sod it, the money isn't worth it. Luckily I have an interview lined up for another longer term job in a different school (fingers crossed!)
     
  9. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Disguise, I often get upset on the run up to my mum's death (nearly 15 years on) often without really registering it.
     
  10. I wish it would but I fear it may just put off the inevitable. It didn't help that I woke up feeling run down and had a slight ear ache overnight - nothing at all major but I woke up feeling off balance and never really recovered. Ironically 5 years ago when Grandad died, I was sent home ill that day too (before I realised he'd died). Spooky. But seriously, I have too much to do to take a day off. I also fear if I do it won't help as I'll go back even more stressed. I could just sit here and cry.
     
  11. If you are setting detentions and they are not attending - with no consequences then the school discipline system is failing - not you. You only need to go to the limit with a few for the others to know you mean business. If upper school are not being proper backups and implementinf effective discipline procedure then they are failing you. What happened in one of my schools was one missed detention equaled two more and so on. Suffice to say this did not work and it was muggins who had to take all of these detentions so I was being punished effectively too! The kids just did not turn up - so then the idea was to get another teacher to go along just before the end of the day and pick up the kid so they had to attend detention. Worked a little bit but not always doable to get someone to go get them and 'escort' them to detention.The best thing I found was to shock a bad class to the core early on - go in like a total witch and have absolute zero tolerance - organise upper school backup for a specific lesson and let SMT know that you are going to be doing a zero tolerance and it is essential that they back you filly on it. First squeek of **** from them - unload the fires of hell on them and get them out. Well nothing is 100% going to definitely work but this worked best for me and once you have that dominance over them, you feel stronger and they sense that I think. Sorry if this is granny suck eggs - just giving my experiences. You will get there your own way.
     
  12. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Why on earth would you feel like a terrible granddaughter? You don't need a special day to remember him.
    Anniversaries of loved ones dying have an effect on you for years, even when you think you have moved on. The run-up to it is often worse than the day itself.
    You definitely need a day off by the sound of things.
    There are some good tips on the Behaviour forum which I have found useful. Don't even think about planning an all singing lesson with that mob. Give them something that involves plenty of writing, so that you can wander round and chat with them about both the work and themselves. Smile, try a bit of banter, praise them like mad, turn an activity into a competition and award a silly prize. I often have to make a conscious effort with a group like that to show the more human side of me. It does work.
     
  13. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I bet you, there isn't a single teacher who won't have felt like this, and on more than one occasion. What the above poster says is correct, we are ofeten too self-critical and analytical for our own good.
    2 Years ago, I had a long-term supply cover with a class who had suffered much disruption with different teachers and at times I felt they were all against me. Yet only today, I discovered some 'Thank You' cards from those very same children who, at the end of the year, were thanking me for what they'd achieved/learnt in their time with me. Percpeption,so much of it is perception. When we're doubting ourselves everything looks so much worse.Exterior events, such as the anniversary of your grandad's death can so easily disturb the equilibrium.
    Believe in yourself. Tomorrow is a new day!
     
  14. Thanks sugarglass. If they miss my dets they get an HT det but they sometimes don't do them either. So then they get isolation and eventually temporary exclusion. But as I say it doesn't help much. I have had backup in some lessons but got told by a kid today that that was because I 'couldn't control the class'.
     
  15. Thanks all for your comments. I teach creative arts so getting them behind desks with a plausible explanation is hard. Sometimes it's possible and even for a good reason but often I feel like I am just putting them off writing and reading, which does English no favours. I really wish I could take tomorrow off, trust me. But as I say I doubt it will help and in any case I'd spend the whole day feeling guilty. I have to create a project (a learning project) for a course I am on. I was meant to present it to SLT by now but haven't. The next meeting is Monday. Every idea I have is ****. My presentation skills are not great (been told as much) so also dreading standing in front of SLT and looking like a total waste of money, or worse - crying.
     
  16. Are you there to 'control' the class or to teach. This is typical of crappy, unacceptable behaviour being turned on the teacher as if it was their fault. The school's system for discipline is failing you I'd say and it has worn you down to the core. No wonder. You are NOT a bad teacher, You are in a school with a rubbish culture for discipline and trying to fight the war with a paper shield. To be honest I changed schools and now I do a completely different job. Not always viable but if you can, do it!
     
  17. I really want to but have a mortgage and whenever I look for jobs that I am in any way qualified for they don't pay anywhere near my current wage. I live alone so have no other wage to rely on. My flat is for sale so coming off the property ladder is a bit of an option but I'd still have some mortgage to pay for as I'm in negative equity whereas if I move to a new flat I can transfer that equity and continue to pay it off. Circles. Round and round. Head. Exploded.
     
  18. Just thinking, one little thing that did work well for me was to find the 'good' kids - the ones who behave well and are OK for a chat, and have a little casual chat about 'are they like this in other lessons? See what they say and ask the decent kids what they would do about the badly behaved kids. What they think would work. Honestly I have had some great tips from those kids who are with them all day every day and see what does work.
     
  19. I don't mean move out of teaching - I mean move schools. When I moved school it was like I was not doing the same job because of the difference in the culture of discipline of the school.Your school is not supporting you - you are not failing, you are being failed.
     
  20. Oh I see. I am looking. Mainly because of distance. But there are no local jobs. And I have only been at this school just over a year. Which I know doesn't matter but isn't it like running away? Who's to say the grass is greener. I don't think I want to teach anymore.
     

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