Inspired by the Fry's Chocolate Cream thread, and not wishing to admit tuberous intruders into its milky domain, I offer my tribute to the other great prelapsarian snack of innocent days - the British Crisp. In the beginning there was Ready Salted, who carried in his depths a portion of salt in a tiny bag sealed with a twist, occasionally eaten in error or frenziedly spat out. Ready Salted soon had his consort Cheese n Onion, and the pair begat Salt n Vinegar, who begat Smokey Bacon, who begat Roast Chicken and so on down to the immense array of contemporary flavours. The market king in the sixties and early seventies was undoubtedly Smiths, whose Bovril flavour crisps were particular favourites: Golden Wonder lived up to their name, their Cheese n Onion was particularly pungent: Golden Wonder crisps still exist today, though you don't see them around very much compared to the all-conquering brand peddled by a certain ex-footballer. Sadly the Golden Wonder factory burned down in the 80s hindering their production for a while (I am not suggesting the ex-footballer had anything to do with this). There was a Geordie offshoot of Smiths, Tudor Crisps, purveyors of arcane shades of onion flavour. Mmmm, Gammon! I remember that Tudor Crisps tended to go stale quite quickly, as did some horrors called Crispi Crisps, so that you could never be sure you were buying an entirely fresh packet. Special mention has to be made here of the Bradford crisp company, Seabrook. These used to be outstanding - unOfstedly outstanding, crisp but substantial. flavour rich and generously portioned, their Cheese and Onion being the Carlsberg of all crisp flavours . At some point in the seventies they changed their recipe and started to produce what was a markedly inferior product, crinkling the vast majority of their output, and I am unashamedly a straight cut purist. Mais ou sont les chips d'antan? The consumption of crisps often took place in a pub beer garden, their passage through the alimentary canal being accompanied by a bottle of Tizer. lemonade, Dandelion and Burdock or Cola sucked up through a paper straw, the end of which you would have to keep prizing open when it clogged itself shut. Crisps! Worthy to be counted for me with Proust's Madeleine cake, or the sound of DH Lawrence's mum's upright piano.