1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Grandmother Ill Abroad

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ACVX, Jan 16, 2019.

  1. ACVX

    ACVX New commenter

    My grandmother, who lives in a foreign country, has been rushed into hospital in quite a serious condition - verging on a coma. My mother has flown out to be with her, but the cost of flights means this isn't an option for me.
    Advice from doctors suggests this is may something that may rather drag on; it's a case of wait and see (if she comes out of it or not).
    I have informed my HoD, so she knows I may not be on top of my game this week. However, I am finding it hard to cope with classes at all. I'm short of patience and quite tearful, and unable to stay concentrated. I was feeling stressed before this, and now everything has got worse. Some time off would be helpful, but I don't think I'm bad enough for WRS, and I don't think anyone would give LOA for sitting at home and being sad about my Grandmother.
    What can I do to avoid bursting into tears or completely losing my rag? Does anyone have any suggestions?
  2. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Go to your GP and tell the Head. You’ve had a shock so may need need medical intervention. Best wishes for a speedy recovery to you both.
  3. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Lead commenter

    It's better to take time off now to get yourself better rather than trying to struggle on and end up worse. It sounds like you should see your GP and discuss being signed off or any other options.
  4. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    This may sound callous, but you will be able to cope better as time goes on and the shock of the news becomes the new 'normal'. It's still very early days.
    Take care.
    monicabilongame likes this.
  5. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    ...because of unfortunate family circumstances.
    Go see your HT and state this is the case,exactly these words, and request time off unpaid for compassionate reasons. Explain you are not ill as such, and yet unable to perform at the top of your game, ney at all in terms of properly responding to the minds in front of you. They would therefore be better served by a cover teacher.
    So you offer your HT a benefit of not being there, ie you would not ask to be paid, and you offer yourself the benefit of having some breathing space. You offer your classes the chance to adapt to another face because that's life, and also the benefit of having somebody who can respond to their needs on a pragmatic level, albeit without the knowledge of them that you have accumulated. It's still better for them to have somebody who is not feeling overwhelmed by "stuff".
    Use your week off (or however long you arrange) to both regroup and communicate properly with family. Perhaps you need to make a contingency plan for the worst event, perhaps you don't want to think about it.
    It's just a time when person and professional wont mix. Which do you want to prioritise?
    Which will you regret most if you don't get yourself that time?
  6. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I found that working helped me put personal problems to the back of my mind. I do sympathise with your distress but, without knowing you or your circumstances at all, my first thought would be that you should try and work through this. Sadly, this crisis might not be the only one you will face with your grandmother. Life can be very difficult sometimes. Try and push through for the time being is my best advice. I'm sorry.
    InkyP likes this.
  7. ACVX

    ACVX New commenter

    Thanks for all the replies.
    Sbkrobson, I think your suggestion is the best, but sadly I can't really afford a week unpaid.
    In the past, I have found that working to distract myself generally ends incredibly badly for my mental health.
    I have just registered with my local GP (recently moved), and I'll have to apply for LOA to go to an appointment, but hopefully school will be okay with it if I pick a free afternoon.
    Trying to focus on some more student-led teaching to keep me going until then.
    Thank you again for all the suggestions.
    emerald52 likes this.

Share This Page