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Giving up

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by lilachardy, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    How do you decide when to give up trying to conceive, and do you know of any resources that make it easier?

    Thanks
     
  2. Hi lila, so sorry you feel it's the end of your ttc journey. I know Becky70 recently made the decision to stop ttc, so it might be worth sending her a PM? X
     
  3. Don't know the answer to your question but i'm sorry Lilac.
     
  4. Have you had fertility treatment?
    We had to kick up quite a fuss about it due to being brushed off by a not very helpful GP. I was a stone overweight at the most when we started TTC and the GP blamed being unable to conceive on that, which made me feel like a sumo wrestler!
    Then when I lost a stone and a half to get down to 9 stone, a healthy weight at my height of 5'3, we were told I'd lost weight too quickly.
    Eventually changed GPs and were referred for treatment.
    PM me if I can advise further. I do know what it's like so I'll not offer plautitudes but I'm expecting in December.
     
  5. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Yes.

    Thanks all.
     
  6. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Hi Lil, sorry you are having to face this.
    For me giving up came as a bolt from the blue - I felt that I couldn't face any more treatment. I waited to see if I changed my mind but days and weeks passed and I still felt the same. It's been 6 months now since I made the decision.
    If giving up ttc means that you're never going to have children (i.e. you know you don't want to adopt or foster) I'd take a look at More To Life (just google it) - they are part of Infertility Network but are exclusively for people who are involuntarily childless. The forum is quiet but they have some good fact sheets and they recommend some books too. They do meet ups as well. We may adopt so I haven't joined.
    I'm still struggling myself and I think time may be the biggest healer. Good luck, Lil.
     
  7. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Thanks Becky.

    It's not so much that I don't want more treatment - I can't afford it and I'm not allowed any more time of work for it either, which basically means it can't happen even if I win the lottery!
    I'll google, as you suggested - thanks.


     
  8. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    That's awful, Lil, as you must feel the decision is being made for you. So sorry, sending you a big hug. Hope there is some stuff out there that can help you. Becky x
     
  9. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I think your friend is being really unhelpful. You have to do what's right for you - 11 years is a very long time to work at anything and not succeed. People who conceive easily don't understand how being unable to takes over your life and drags you down.
    I have made the decision to give up - it's not easy living with that decision and I have some very black days. However, I can't live with the uncertainty of treatment anymore - I'd do 10 more cycles if there was a guarantee that one of them would work but it's more likely that all 10 will fail.
    Take your time, talk to your OH and think about what's best for you. Feel free to pm me if you want.
    Oh, and the running will do you good - it will get those endorphins going. Good luck with that.
     
  10. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I'm not sure I'd do even one more cycle without a guarantee.

     
  11. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Fair enough, you've been through a lot, Lil.
     

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