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Getting ready to ttc?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by saripop, May 16, 2009.

  1. I have no idea. Just got a new job to start in aug so need to wait a while. Dont think it would look too good! Altho I always knew that would happen since I was only temp this year (in Scotland permanent jobs are like gold dust so I am very lucky to have one!). So not really sure. OH isn't really ready yet anyway so will just wait and see (patiently of course!!!!!!!!!!)
    I am quite an organised person and like to know when things will be happening so it is quite hard to not know when we will at least start trying. Dont want to fight with him about it anymore tho (had a few disagreements before I got perm job - I was like why wait and he was far more sensible and thinking about money etc, which, of course, he was right about!! Not that I would admit that to him .....) plus I cant rush him to be ready, that would be a disaster!
    Bit of a ramble I know! What about you? Will you start straight after the wedding?
  2. Thank you
    I'm 21 weeks now. More than half way eek!
  3. I'm just like you, like to plan things and know what I will be doing when. We had a lond chat about our future the other day and we both (which amazed me) decided to start ttc on our wedding night!! I then modified this to the closest fertile time that I have to the wedding, be that before or after. So yes, December for us. Hoping for a September or October baby so that I can do that whole summer holiday on full pay and then start mat leave in Sept. As you can see, I have planned very carefully!!
    I agree with what you say about rushing your OH. If it was up to me, we would have had a baby ages ago, but wouldn't have been the right time, because as you say, he was right about money and everything else! He really is very sensible! But yeah, he seems to be completely happy with starting as soon as we are married. We are in a good position, he's a teacher too, we've just bought a flat and we'll be married and all that. I just wish someone would tell my biological clock to be a little patient!
    I'm so scared tho that we'll have problems or won't be able to conceive. I'm really worried about this. I don't really have a reason to be worried but I think that's why I'm getting so very prepared for this.

  4. Saripop, that worries me too! I think it's perfectly natural. How old are you? (Sorry if you have already said; I can't remember!) I'm 28 and my OH seems to think we are in no rush, and have been "going with the flow" for four months now (not using contraception, but not particularly looking out for ovulation or checking temp etc) I keep trying to tell him that I'm getting on a bit in terms of biological clock! We would both like lots of babies, so better get cracking..... he is too laid back for words!
  5. Oh, just saw you are 28 too! (or will be when you start ttc) I hear that holiday/ honeymoon is the ideal time to conceive! [​IMG]
    Shame we're not having a hol this year as buying a house!!
  6. Yes, clematis, I am 28 now but will be 29 when ttc, so I also feel like the clock is ticking. Luckily, OH agrees that he would like to have children while he is younger so will 'allow' (!) us to start ttc in December.
    I have this thing about not being an 'older' mum, not that there's anything wrong with it, but my dad was 40 when they had me and now his health isn't great and I really don't want my kids to have to worry about me and OH when they are only in their 20's. Does that make sense? I always wanted to have children before I was 30 and so now I'm cutting it quite fine seeing as we would like to have Sept/Oct baby in 2010 and my 30th bday will be Sept 2010!!
    It is so important to me to have children (for a whole load of personal reasons), as I'm sure it is to everyone,and I think having a forum like this where you can talk about these things without being judged is so important. So thank you everybody for your contributions!
  7. OMG, so is mine... his mum always says if he was any more laid back he would fall over!
  8. Great to read everyone's stories - it's making me feel very old though! I'm 30 now, will be 31 when start ttcing. I started a different career (rubbish decision) so now am just finishing NQT and have NO guilty feelings about abandoning a job I've just started!
    My OH and I are not married (gasp!) and it looks as if we're in a minority? But he's not too up and down about it - think he knows for me it's got to be sooner rather than later! I read it takes an average of 9 months to conceive if you're in your early 30s so let's hope I'm not average [​IMG]
  9. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I got pregnant just before my 31st birthday last year, and it only took me a week, and that was after 8+ years on the pill, so don't worry emmy_ru. I'd heard the same as you about it taking an average of several months so I was pretty shocked! And none of that 'old' stuff!!!
    I personally wouldn't have been ready to have a baby in my early 20s, but I don't think it's too young if you feel ready for it.
  10. Oh ladies, it is as if I have written your words. I too am desperate for a family and my h2b is not quite ready - he promises that he will be in December! It just seems soooo far away and I too am terrified that he'll change his mind or that we won't be able to have children. I can't believe the actual physical pain that I feel when I find out that yet another friend is pregnant or has just had a baby - it is literally like I am being stabbed. I know that it sounds mega dramatic, but it is that strong. In fact, I almost don't trust my reaction to other peoples' happy news now and find myself staying pretty much silent or just subtely leaving the room.
    Is anyone else finding these feelings really very difficult to cope with? I'm really not a jealous person and I want to be happy for others - but all I feel is terrible, terrible envy. I've been quite ashamed of my feelings several times.
  11. Hi misstutu,
    I don't know if you saw my earlier post about my other half's sister, and how I felt when she announced her pregnancy, but what you have written pretty much describes my reaction. I felt shell-shocked and couldn't stop crying after we left them. Anyway, some of the other things you have written are very similar to my situation. We will also hopefully be ttc from December, but like you, I'm so scared that he'll change his mind when it comes to actually, actively trying. I am also a little ashamed of the way I feel and my envy of those with babies, but I think that's why I started this thread and why I actively decided to 'get ready' to try and conceive because then at least that way, I feel that I'm doing something towards getting pregnant, even if I'm really not. Does that make any sense at all? I'm charting my cycles and taking vitamins and all that, and also focussing on my wedding as that's when we'll start ttc. So, I think in general, I'm feeling a little more patient at the moment, just really looking forward to my bump!
    How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? And when are you getting married?

  12. I know exactly how you feel! Currently ttc and I know my hubby wants children, but he just doesn't seem to be very excited! It's all I think about. I'm hoping that when I finally get PG, he will show more emotion. It got to the point a few weeks ago where I seriously started to doubt that it was what he wants, but he assures me that it is!
  13. It is nice to hear that you're not alone isn't it?!
    sarpop - I'm 29 and getting married in July, so not long now! I like your approach of 'getting ready to TTC' as it's a more postitive way of looking at it. I've tried to not think about it (and it's completely impossible!) so maybe that's the way forward. I've decided that I'm going to start taking folic acid and am going to really cut down on alcohol (not that I drink masses anyway - but it must all help) etc when we get back from honeymoon in August.
    The thing that really upsets me is the fact that I feel like to keep my own sanity, I've got to distance myself from my friends with bumps/babies. I'm going to see my friend with her 8week old tomorrow and I'm dreading it - I've put it off for this long because I know that it'll be really painful. I also know that my SIL is trying for a baby and I am already bracing myself for the pain that I will feel when she announces that she's pregnant - it'll be a first granchild so there will be lots of fuss! In fact, I'm already distancing myself from her to try to soften the blow!
    I just want it to me!!!!!
  14. Awww, ((((misstutu)))), it is upsetting isn't it, when you feel like that. It's a real conflict for me, because I love seeing my SIL's baby, but exactly as you say, I also have these horrible feelings of envy and resentment in the bottom of my stomach. He's also the first grandchild so there was a LOT of fuss as SIL and MIL have this really weird supersuper close relationship. Without getting too judgemental or going into too much detail, SIL's OH was still married when she got pg, and she kept saying things like 'oh I'll go back to work two months after baby is born' and towards the end of her pregnancy was complaining and complaining, 'I'm bored, I can't sit still, I wish I could get back to work'... I know everyone is different but I just feel like those 9 months will be so so special to me that I will appreciate every second of it. Anyway, her little boy is 8 months now and he is beautiful. I love seeing him, but the only thing is he look exactly like her brother i.e. my h2b, so it's so painful because I look at him and wonder if our baby will look like that.
    I think it is a good idea to do small things as you say, cut down drink, start taking supplements because you do feel like you're actually doing something towards it!
  15. Sorry to all those ladies with relatives with bumps but think how great it'll be for your children to have all those ready-made cousins and friends! I'm the first in my family and close friends (and I'm 30 - we're a slow bunch!) so I'm not feeling the same confusion, but I know a couple of friends will be trying when we are so I can't say how I'll feel if we're still trying months after they have gorgeous bundles... maybe not so philosophical...
    I'm keen to be doing anything I can though asap so I'm thinking... does anyone know how far in advance of ttc you should go and see your GP? And I might go for it with the supplements, but I'm on a fair bit of medication (for arthritis) so maybe should see consultation first as I already take folic acid... dilemmas!
    Maybe I will have a beer to chill out while I still can [​IMG]

  16. I couldn't resist joining in. I've got one more pill packet left - I couldn't possibly stop with full packets left in my drawer (slight OCD me thinks). Anyhoo like I said I have one more packet left and it will be finished by the end of June!
    We're off to Florida for a BIG holiday as soon as I break up in July - if I catch straight away I'll be about 3/4 weeks pg - if not unfortunately I will be due on whilst on holiday!
    I'm dead excited about ttc and my hubby is his non-commital self. But I've known him long enough to know that if he didn't want to ttc then he'd say no!
    I can't wait to be pg, I've lost 3 stone over the past year, am fit and healthy and am in my early late 20's so hopefully it won't be to tricky to concieve.
    Good luck to everyone for when it comes to your time to concieve.
  17. Hi Kelsbels
    Well done for losing 3 stone. I have about 5 stone to lose and so far I've lost 11lbs (in the last 5 weeks). Any tips?
    Good luck for when you start TTC.
    Pippa x
  18. Well, I may not be pregnant, or even TTC but I CAN eat brie! I'm making myself feel better by gorging on brie, fresh bread, tomatos and homous.
    Pimms o clock now.......
  19. lol, same goes for beer, wine and ibuprofen!! Let's enjoy them while we can!!

    Hope everyone is ok, I'm looking at a long cycle again this time... Wonder whether I should go to the doctor? Is there anything they can do about an irregular cycle?
  20. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Yes, make the most of wine, cheese, seafood etc!! My baby is due in a week and I am looking forward to a glass of wine, although I will still have to be careful as I plan to breastfeed for 6 months. What i'd really like is to go to the Belgian restaurant and have a huge bowl of mussels!


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