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Getting over the loss of a cat

Discussion in 'Personal' started by looloo12, Jul 14, 2011.

  1. I had to have my beloved cat, Mikey, put down yesterday. I am absolutely devastated - I had him for fourteen years and he really was the best cat in the world. He was so affectionate and just loved getting attention - if I ignored him, he would sit on the chair arm and tap my shoulder until I took notice of him!
    How have others got over the loss of a much-loved pet? It is too soon to consider getting another cat but I wondered if, down the line, this helps. I'm not sure I ever would though anyway - Mikey was so perfect that I feel I would compare any other cat I had with him and I just don't think I could have that bond with any other cat.
    Other stories or advice much appreciated.
  2. bond with a cat? Sorry but you've lost me.
  3. DaisysLot

    DaisysLot Senior commenter

    I know how you are feeling, and while when said out loud it sounds a bit silly and others will poke fun, it is a very real grief. I think the best way is to allow yourself to mourn in whatever way you feel you need to - be that have a coffin and a burial or cremation and scatter ashes somewhere nice - do it. The one thing that has helped me get over the gloom of loss is always saying to myself that my pets are only gifted to me to enjoy their company for a wee while - no two are ever the same in nature or in what they bring to my life, but when one passes away I allow myself to, when ready, adopt another personality to enjoy and share a time with.
  4. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

  5. Not what the OP needed to hear. Don't get cats myself, but I can empathise. When we had our dog aged 14 put to sleep, we were lost - kept seeing her everywhere, all our routines were reminders of her. My sympathies. xx
  6. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    I had to have my old, decrepit but much loved cat put down recently. He'd been deteriorating slowly and was so pathetic in the last days that it was a kindness to put him down and although I miss him, I felt quite pragmatic about it.

  7. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    That's your loss then.

    Our cats have always been like family members to us. When one of them died a whole chunk of cat-related vocabulary went out of our daily routine, not least the many different nicknames we'd dreamed up for her. I actually made a point of sitting down and writing them all out so we didn't forget them in the future. Our surviving cat is 14 and still in good shape for her age but we'll be bereft when she departs. My sympathies to the OP.
  8. lurk much, thanks for pointing me in the direction of that thread. I just read the whole thing and it set me off crying again but was also extremely beautiful and the cat concerned really reminded me of mine.
    Thanks to everyone for the sympathies - it may seem incomprehensible to those who aren't animal lovers (I'm looking at you egg n chips) but the loss of a pet really is utterly heartbreaking and I don't think I realised quite how much until yesterday as Mikey is the first of my own cats that I've ever lost.
    It really does help to hear others' stories - thanks again.
  9. I'm so sorry to hear that. I think of that act as being the last and most loving thing you can do for your pet.
    Take your time and do what is best for you. We lost our feisty little cat last year and took in another one within weeks. There are so many who need good homes and it just seemed right to offer one.
    You can never replace your lost cat. They are all different and allowing another one into your home is not an act of betrayal at all.
    Take care. xx

  10. That's a horrible thing to say. That's it. I can't be bothered wasting time on you.
  11. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    The rate at which cats are popping their clogs on here suggests that maybe they are being kidnapped by curry shop owners.
  12. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I wouldn't rate a curry shop owner's chances of laying hands on our late moggy when she was still with us. Even the cattery staff used to don thick leather gauntlets whenever she went to stay.
  13. No matter what you think, looloo, getting another cat is still the only answer if you want to have that joy in your life. It's not being 'disloyal'
    Go to the Animal Home, get a cat, and give it a life it otherwise wouldn't have had. You'll never forget your departed friend, but you'll not regret your new one either
    Pluck up courage, and do it!
  14. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Oh looloo, my heart is breaking for you. I am sorry about Mikey.
    Arched Eyebrow's thread about the loss of her beloved cat was one of the most memorable on this forum, for me. Cats, dogs and lots of other animals really do become part of our family and it's an absolute wrench when they have to leave us.
    Shed lots of tears and think of all your happy memories with Mikey. He must have had a great life with you. Maybe when the time is right you may be able to do what sea_pink did and think about giving a loving home to a little unwanted cat.
  15. We have lost 2; Robin, who simply got lost ... we live in hope that he was taken in

    Campbell was run over ... massive shock

    We still had (have) Swaney ... he is getting on but we will not take on another when we lose him

    I know that for many it is right to do so and hope you make the best decision for you

  16. I am so sorry Looloo, I do hope in time you feel a bit better. Luckily *most people* on here are lovely, and we understand your pain. I'm a bit confused about Egg n Chips to be honest, as s/he managed to submit a lovely comment on a very similar thread...(maybe they are having a bad day, I'm sure they are nice really!)
    All that matters is that Mikey will never really be gone. If you love someone hard enough, they will ALWAYS be a part of you.

    Take Care of yourself, love Soxy xxx
  17. guinnesspuss

    guinnesspuss Star commenter

    Oh I do feel for you. It's such a horrible decision to have to make. I had to make it for my dog and didn't want to do it ever again, but then our darling cat came into our lives and has enriched them no end. I know her existence will be brief in years, but lasting in memory.
    Just read Arch's post and have tears streaming down my face.
  18. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had three cats, and although the last was 20 years ago, I still think of them. On the occasions that my dog's gone missing, I've been beside myself, and in tears at the mere possibility of anything happening to him. People who don't have pets, just don't understand..... they're like family members, aren't they? Arch's post has me bawling my eyes out too..... Just give yourself time to grieve properly, be kind to yourself, and ignore those who don't understand... xxxx
  19. So sorry. Get kittens as soon as you feel up to it. Don't feel guilty or as if you are replacing Mikey Kittens are so time consumingly adorable and will help ease the pain..
  20. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Same here. Bit of a shock this early.
    I'm so sorry to hear about Mikey, Looloo and I really am feeling your pain this morning. x


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