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Getting married

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by rose_imogen, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. rose_imogen

    rose_imogen New commenter

    hi everyone,

    I’ve just been accepted on to a salaried schools direct primary course that starts in September which I’m really excited about. I absolutely loved the school and can really see myself there. However I got engaged a year ago (and didn’t know then that I would apply to become a teacher), we booked our wedding for September 14th and it’s a really homemade wedding which we are completely doing ourselves so I need two weeks off to do it. Has anyone ever had to take time off from a schools direct course?
    I’m nervous about asking and obviously I will but I just wanted to hear if people had any experience with this matter.
  2. blueskydreaming

    blueskydreaming Lead commenter

    I don't wish to be rude, but I think you are vastly underestimating the training course if you think taking 2 weeks off is appropriate - especially near the start of the course.

    If you were a qualified teacher you would not be given 2 weeks off, and you won't be given 2 weeks off as a trainee. Apart from the fact that you need to learn so much during the course, and have to complete a set number of days in order to pass, you obviously don't understand the logistics of having to replace an absent teacher. Not to mention, at the start of the course you will be laying the foundations of the relationship with your class.
  3. Grefintec

    Grefintec New commenter

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! You are fortunate in that you have a fairly long time to organise your wedding from now till the start of the summer term, use this time. There is no point in asking the school for two weeks off, you won’t get it (I couldn’t even get two hours off to see my daughter in her school nativity) and it will put you on a poor footing in your new school.

    I have a colleague who is getting married on the 31st August. Hers is also a ‘homemade wedding’ she is working hard in the evenings and at weekends to do her wedding prep now. On Friday we (group of friends from work) had a curry night at her house and made the 150 table centres, the placemats and some of the 250 needed origami flowers. This weekend she is making all of the bouquets!

    Good luck!
  4. PGCE_tutor

    PGCE_tutor New commenter

    Congratulations on both the wedding and the course.

    BSD is right;
    I think you need to accept now that you need a Plan B. It can be done - it's just that you'd set up Plan A before you knew about the course. Time for a re-think about the logistics.

    Good luck.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  5. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I agree with others you may just need to rethink the wedding prep.

    Scale down / streamline on uneccessary items.
    Enlist the help of friends and family if possible. Have 'making evenings with friends if needed. .But i
    t is after all probably less than 24 hours which will just fade nto a memory. Honestly no-one will notice if there's a lack of large table centres/ favours etc and you have 3 months to decide what is possible to achieve.

    My son and d-i-l did a 'homemade wedding' and although they had family who helped put up / decorate the marquee the evening before and with a lot of the prep. in the months beforehand it is possible to have a lovely wedding without 'the bells and whistles'. As our vicar said to us before the wedding, "Remember if anything goes wrong with any arrangements, and I've seen many over the years, the important thing is that you two turn up." I've ofen thought how true that was. The day is all about two people turning up to say their vows to each other. All the rest is all just 'decoration' and not necessary.
  6. Ezmerelda

    Ezmerelda New commenter

    In the schools I've worked in both teachers and trainees would get 1 day unpaid on the day before. You would never get 2 weeks and I've never known anyone to be paid. I wouldn't even ask for 2 weeks; I can imagine the response.

    Like everyone has said, use the summer to get ready and change plans, recruit others etc. I really wouldn't bank on time in September to get ready for it; you will be very, very busy.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  7. AnotherDayTowardsRetirement

    AnotherDayTowardsRetirement Occasional commenter

    Did you mention your wedding plans at Interview?
    Did you make the school aware that you had a Sept wedding date fixed in your diary ?
    I ask this because if the school knew of your wedding date prior to offering you your post IMO they have a duty to honour your wedding date as they employed you knowing this.
    Should always ask ....... “I didn’t know I would be teaching when we fixed the date, it was set such a long time ago & impacts on many other people other than my partner & I, afterall I did mention it st interview”
  8. rose_imogen

    rose_imogen New commenter

    Thank you very much for all your response.

    I would say that I do understand the implications and severity and pressure of the course otherwise I wouldn’t have applied. Perhaps it was silly of me to ask advice because at the end of the day the school are the only people who can give me the answer.
    I did mention my wedding in interview and that it was in September so I’m waiting to see what they say.
    But as you have all said I might have to readjust my plans and expectations.

    Many thanks for the advice all
    agathamorse likes this.
  9. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Quite right.
    It is good that you mentioned it at interview and you should therefore be allowed time off for the wedding. What may be unrealistic is to expect that amount of time off to prepare.
    agathamorse likes this.
  10. Wotton

    Wotton Lead commenter

    I was teaching and had a "homemade wedding" . I got 1 day off.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  11. PGCE_tutor

    PGCE_tutor New commenter

    A good job you're getting married early in your career or you could end up like this;
    Billie73 likes this.
  12. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    If you negotiated this in your interview before you accepted the position, you should be able to get the day itself off.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  13. varcolac

    varcolac Occasional commenter

    14th September is a Saturday this year so I should rather hope they would already have that day off!
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  14. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    o well, if its a Saturday, you won't need a week day off! I'm a bit confused about why you are asking then
    agathamorse likes this.
  15. Gsr25

    Gsr25 Occasional commenter

    I think what the OP is saying is they need two weeks off prior to that date to prepare for.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  16. sabram86

    sabram86 Occasional commenter

    Two weeks to make your own wedding tat?

    No. Just no.
    varcolac, Gsr25 and dunnocks like this.
  17. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    That's not something that you can even consider asking for.

    I have known someone get a week off for a trip to Hong Kong, but it was booked before the job offer, and he made it a condition of accepting the job, at interview, when he was asked if he would take that job, he said yes, as long as he could go on this prebooked trip. It was to meet his father in law who was dying, so his only chance to ever meet him He got the time off, but only because he said so BEFORE being offered the job.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  18. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    Unless you have discussed the two weeks absence at interview, I don't think you should even ask. You'll just make yourself look ridiculous. Perhaps ask for the Friday afternoon the day before - that wouldn't be unreasonable (but you might need to take it as non-contact time).
    agathamorse likes this.
  19. Gsr25

    Gsr25 Occasional commenter

    I know, I was replying to another poster. But exactly you can’t expect to have two weeks off before.
    Lara mfl 05 and agathamorse like this.
  20. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    You might be able to get the Friday off (although it may well be your PPA) as you mentioned your wedding at inverview. I doubt you'd get more.

    Use the summer holidays to make as much as you can for the wedding and box it up. Good luck!
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.

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