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Getting married during PGCE year...?

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by bertiebob, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. Hello folks,

    I have a quick query, was looking for a bit of advice:

    I?m hoping to start a Primary PGCE course this September ? but am also rather ambitiously hoping to get married during February half-term. We?ve found the venue we want, and are hoping to keep it pretty low-key, so there shouldn?t be loads to arrange... We?re both quite laid-back, so I?m hoping there won?t be a huge amount of stress.

    Am I likely to have the time to take 3-4 days off at that time of year? Will I be able to relax at all? We?re happy to have a late honeymoon in the summer, so don't need a huge amount of time, but we like the idea of a winter wedding ? and the venue is MUCH cheaper at that time of year!

    And does anyone have any success stories or horror stories of weddings during the PGCE year? Can it be done?

    Many thanks in advance for your help.

    Bertie xx
     
  2. Hiya. No experience of getting married during pgce year but as a person who deferred my degree for a year because we were getting married, I can say I know I could never have focused on my studies at all if we were doing both at the same time! Our wedding was small, with 50 guests and planning it was the most stressful thing I've done in my life so far and that includes being pregnant through my first two years of uni! Still, that said, if you're determined enough you can do anything I guess!
     
  3. quietlydetermined

    quietlydetermined New commenter

    No advice about coping with the wedding but check with your uni what days you have off -not all courses give you half term!
     
  4. rainbow_gold

    rainbow_gold New commenter

    DON'T.DO.IT!!!
    I've been planning my wedding this year whilst studying pgce secondary and it has been sooooo stressful. i actually had most of our wedding sorted before training, but little things crop up and it just puts more pressure on an already hectic year.
    Fraid I can't comment on getting married during half-term, but would have thought that you'll have assignments and prep to do during then so although school wil have no prob, you may feel under pressure from academic work.
    However im sure many people do plan and have their wedding during their pgce year and manage fine, but i know i wish i had dealt with mine differently xxx
     
  5. I just got married at half term! It was very low key and wasn't at all stressful.... I'm a final year BA Primary Education student, my husband is a GTP student and we have 3 children so life is pretty hectic. We didn't have time off but someone said afterwards that my husband could have had a day off work. If you're talking about will you have the time to do planning if you have 3 days off... Well that depends on how organised you are... We took 2 days - one for the wedding and the day after to relax, then I was back in uni on the monday. And hubby was home with 3 children trying to do planning :-D xxx
     
  6. To be honest, if you don't have to get married at that point I would wait and arrange at a later date. Marriage should be happy and you should focus on you, your partner and relish the day not have one eye on assignments, planning etc.
    There will be enough stress on the PGCE I would avoid any extra stress if you can.
    James
     
  7. I'm starting a PGCE Primary in September while my fiance is about to finish a 7 month deployment and then we get married December 16th. We have the majority of stuff done and the little bits will be done either before I start the course or by him when he gets back. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly! xxx
     
  8. I agree with James, I would wait till the end the course. A friend of mine got married during the autumn half term, but we didn;t have any assighnemt to write at the time and didn;t start placements, so it was all right, but all other half terms are all about planning and assignments. Also, you will not look very good in the middle of the winter after all the stress and work you are going to have, so wait till it's over and have a good long rest before the wedding.
     
  9. I would wait too.
    Marriage is for life and you don't want to start it at a time when you are bound to feel low, under great pressure and not looking at your best.
    Have a memorable wedding when you finish your course and have no other concerns but to enjoy the day and the start of your married life!
     
  10. I still say do it! It will give you something to look forward to. And a 3-4 day break will do you good. Honestly - Low key is no stress at all. I forgot to to say - We planned ours in 3 weeks [​IMG]
     
  11. PaulDG

    PaulDG Occasional commenter

    It depends what you want. If you're thinking of, and are sure you can get away with, a 15 minute trip to the registry office and then a meal at the local pizza hut, you'll be fine.
    Anything more grand that requires any element of planning and takes up your time in February will almost certainly be too much.
    Feb through till May is typically "2nd placement time" and it will be the hardest thing you've done in your life so far, perhaps the hardest thing you'll ever do.
    You'll not be sleeping, you'll be working through till 1 am and getting up again at 5 to get things ready. You'll barely be speaking to your partner and he (I assume you're female) will be upset and wondering why you're pretending it's so hard as it's only a 9-3 job, isn't it? Friday nights will involve dumping all the stuff you've brought home from the weekend on the floor as you walk in the door and then falling asleep in front of the TV by about 7pm. Weekends will be endless marking and preparation and when you're not doing that, there'll be assignments to get ready, lesson reflections to write up and your standards log to work on. Around this time you'll be wondering why the heck you ever thought you wanted to be a teacher and around 1 in 4 of the people on your course will give up despite encouragement from your tutors. It really is hell.
    Either do it now, before you start the course, or wait until the course is over which is usually early July.
     
  12. Wow, talk about scaring people!! Yes the PGCE is HARD work, no I wouldn't like to plan a wedding at the same time, but if that's what you want and you think you'll be able to manage your time then do it. If you manage time properly you WILL NOT be up until 1am most nights and your weekends won't constantly be filled with work.

    You need to think about how much time you'll have to dedicate to the PGCE. How much planning you'll be able to get done before you start. And what you want.

    Anything's possible if you really want it. GOOD LUCK[​IMG]
     
  13. puffinjen

    puffinjen New commenter

    I agree with tladams - yes the PGCE is stressful but not nearly as bad as some pepple make out - not in my experience anyway and that of most people on my course. Don't allow yourself to be scared by people horror stories, I prepared myself to have a year of hell and it really hasn't worked out like that and I've loved being in school and still manage to get my 8 hours of sleep a night and have a (somewhat limited) social life! I wouldn't say the Feb half term is the ideal time to have a wedding, it is probably one of the more stressful times of the year but I definitely wouldn't say it's impossible!
    Good luck and congrats!!
     
  14. I think that from a planning point of view you should be fine, like you said it's fairly low key. However you do need to check with your university if you get half term off. I know that where I am we are in university all of half term so definitely couldn't get married then.

    I am coming towards the end stages of planning my July wedding - getting married 2 weeks after the end of the course - and it really has been quite manageable alongside the PGCE. I am having quite a biggish wedding and still it really hasn't been bad. You just have to be pretty organised, and I imagine that if you are doing the PGCE then hopefully you already will be quite organised!

    Hope this helps
     
  15. Remember also not all schools and authorities keep the same dates as half term. Since you don't know which placement school you will be sent to and in which authority, it's possible that your wedding will fall into the week you should be teaching! You can ask, before you start that placement, to be transferred to another school that has its half term in the 'right' week, but don't expect your course provider to be sympathetic.
     
  16. amarantine

    amarantine New commenter

    I have no experience of getting married at all! But I shall do my best. My general feeling is veering in the direction of asking why the rush to get married? You can finish the PGCE first and then have a far less stressful organising-and-getting-married experience than if you were trying to do them both at the same time! I have a couple of friends at uni who are engaged but deferring their wedding till after their PGCE. I think that makes more sense, but ultimately it's up to you - I think maybe that if you have to ask whether it's a good idea during your PGCE you aren't convinced it is, and you should wait. But that's just my view - get married if you like! Hehe!
     
  17. Hello,
    I got married during my PGCE and I am very glad I did it. I just wished I had taken more time off as I only took one day off before the wedding because I was so worried. However - my advice is - you should try and get as much done as possible during this summer so you don't have to organise too much during the year. It is a VERY intense year!! Also let the college know that you are getting married during the half term and that you are delaying your honeymoon - its good to make sure they are OK with it before you book anything.
    The good thing about Feb half term is that there shouldn't be many ectures. We had a study week at IOE but had our big essay to finish. However, a lot of people managed to not do any work during that week and still get their essay done. Check with your college about the situation with half term. I went away for my honeymoon over Christmas and it was just what I needed. I had to just be really organised before hand.

    Hope this helps - good luck!
    Clare
     
  18. I'm doing the GTP at the moment and planning my wedding for the summer. It is possible to get married over half term, especially if you do as much of the planning as you can before you start and plan plan plan so you're ahead before the wedding.

    BUT planning a wedding should be fun and, if you do it alongside teacher training, those little jobs you have to do, like ringing the dj, sorting suits, meetings with florists and thinking about how confetti you're going to sprinkle on your table turns it into an hassle. It really does take the fun out of it, and makes the planning of your wedding feel like a burden.

    If you want the full experience of the wedding,I would wait. But I understand that you and your partner want to be married! But you will be sacrificing some of the enjoyment of the whole wedding experience. The last thing you want is to spend your wedding day worrying about what you're going to be teaching in a few days time.

    Good luck and congratulations! xx
     
  19. Ps. February half term you will be pretty tired, even without a wedding - Christmas is never a restful holiday and you will have done 3 very long half terms! Just something else to take into consideration! xx
     
  20. I got married 18 months ago and I put off my pgce as I though it wouldn't work. This year is difficult, but I love being married and I wish I had just worked it all out. That would mean that i'd have been married for 18 months and an NQT for 6 months instead of still being a pgce. Getting married is starting your life and I feel a pgce is that too. If you can (you'll need help and support) I suggest going for it - Good Luck.
     

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