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Gardening with Daddy

Discussion in 'Personal' started by daddyorchips, Dec 22, 2004.

  1. Welcome back to The Shed That Never Shuts

    A Merry Christmas to all my readers

    Today's tip:

       Attract owls to your garden by planting lavender ( Lavandula Officinalis )
    The owls chew the flowers ( or floctules as we call them ) to sweeten their breath

    Next time you pick up an owl pellet have a good sniff...a distinctive musky lavender base with highnotes of mouse is typical

    *¶: ))~
  2. ps moonpenny thanks for your post about australian plants...a few eucalypts would look nice in the arboretum

    Merry Christmas


    *¶: ))~
  3. Thanks for the llamas DaddyO. They've just eaten the Xmas tree so that solves one problem. They're also having trouble with the PS2 but I'm sure they'll get there (the JnrBJs wont share).

  4. Splendid BJ !! make sure you take the llamas for a bracing walk tomorrow

    *¶: ))~
  5. Welcome back to The Shed

    Transform your garden into a Winter Wonderland using simple household items:

    Save the foam from Boxing Day washing up...it makes great miniature snow drifts

    Mince pie trays can be cut into star shapes and attached to your trees with sellotape

    Put three hoes in a line on the lawn ...When your visitors approach say "hoe hoe hoe" in a Father Christmas voice

    Today's plant is the Christmas Cherry ( Cerasius Noelensis )...this pretty bush produces cheerful red fruit on Christmas Day
    Llamas are traditionally fed with the fruit on Boxing Day in Peru

    *¶: ))~
  6. enw


    Dear Daddy

    My poinsettia (Tesco's and guaranteed till 6th Jan)is shedding its leaves and the flowers are drying out and curling up. Can it be saved or shall i just put it out of its misery and bin it?

    PS any tips for recycling the pulled crackers in the garden? They cost a mint, were full of tat and the jokes weren't funny.
  7. Welcome back to The Shed

    Firstly to deal with enw's Poinsettia ( Tesconia Valuana ):

    Ask BJ to bring his llamas round...they will put it out of its misery & obtain valuable nutriments at the same time

    Crackers can be recycled to make a colourful mulch...ladies should take the crackers & other leftover paper stuff to their husband's office where there should be a machine called a shredder.
    Ask one of the gentlemen in the office to put your material through the shredder...there should not be a charge for this

    When you get home spread the new mulch lavishly on your garden at the next full moon

    Today's Evergreen Tree Parasite: Viscum Album

    It sounds like a prog rock release from the 1970's but in fact is Mistletoe.

    Popularized by Druids before the Romans introduced the first garden centres, this is still a firm favourite with my readers.

    Looking out of the Shed window i can see those luscious white globules hanging temptingly before me.
    And behind moonpenny there is a large bunch of mistletoe on my apple tree

    Country people still eat the berries but nobody seems to know why

    *waves golden sickle feebly in gnarled hand*

  8. ermmm Marsh is a Druid expression of farewell in case you were wondering

    *¶: ))~

    Marsh Marsh
  9. Dear Daddy,

    I am very good at buying plants but they always seem to die. Do you think they just don't like me? I am beginning to get a complex!

    Yours Mixu xx

    PS Just bought lucky Bamboo Mr Mixu does not think its stands much chance of lasting the year out. SOB! (Just my luck)
  10. Thankyou for your letter "Mixu"

    This is a common problem so don't fret dear.

    You must treat your plants as honoured guests...

    talk to them, ask them what kind of day they had,

    discuss which TV programmes to watch. Most plants

    find Reality TV distressing. Just like humans.

    Did you know that a typical pot plant such as

    Conium Maculatum ( or Bizzy Lizzy ) shares 94% of

    its DNA with a typical human ? The other 6% it

    refuses to share for personal reasons.

    Keep the conversation light; plants like

    small talk & simple badinage...they are not good at

    jokes or riddles, and are not a good choice for

    "phone a friend"

    Good Luck

    *¶: ))~
  11. Hello Daddy, come into my potting shed, do you like the new curtains and the optics?
  12. I will take your advice and cross my fingers!

    I owe you a drink in the bar!
  13. Thanks ladies !! do you have raffia in your shed Zahra ?

    i am just about to nip into Bauble's for a tincture...see you there

    *¶: ))~
  14. Welcome back to The Shed

    Today's succulent is the French Aloe ( Aloe Aloe )

    It is ideal for beginners, requiring minimal

    nutritional input.

    Make sure that your Aloe is out of reach of hamsters

    because they are attracted to the pungent aroma

    especially during flowering.

    Some Aloe fans like to give special treats such as

    beer to their plants.

    My advice is to leave the Aloe Alone, especially at

    Christmas time:

    No Ale, No Ale, No Ale, No Ale....

    *¶: ))~

    ps to the lady who wrote in asking me to harvest her

    mistletoe...it must take place on the 9th day of the

    New Moon & i will require half a dozen virgins for

    chanting etc.
  15. VIRGINS???? ....on this site???? .....well there's me and Angelil and ........erm.........sorry you'll have to make do with me and Angelil.
  16. Beggars can't be choosers i guess...

    You will need some reed pipes & a change of clothing

    & some sensible shoes.

    i will provide the necessary garlands & chaplets etc.

    A pint of mead please...if you could plunge a red hot

    poker in i would be grateful


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