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funny things children say

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by MissAitch, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. "Liverpool St, I thought that was in Liverpool, y'know"
    (year 9)

    Teacher: 2 x 1
    Student (Yr 7): 3

    Student Yr 9: "I make more than you selling drugs"

    While supporting another teacher during an observation, I overheard the other TA in the room comment to the observer that "the lesson was a bit of a ****ing shambles"

  2. On field Trip...

    Teacher: Can you hear that bird singing? That's a lark.
    Yr10 Student: But I can't see it, is it see-through?
  3. This was actually my son (age 6) -
    He held up a piece of card or something and proclaimed that it was a rectangle.
    Eager to find out what else he knew I asked:
    'how do you know?'
    'It has 2 long sides and 2 short ones.' he replied.
    So far so good. 'What's a square like then?' I ask.
    'It has all the sides the same.'
    'well done! What about the corners? What do you know about corners?' Almost certainly they wouldn't have touched on right angles but it was worth asking.
    'Oh yes, I know about corners...' He proclaimed proudly, 'They are pointy!'
  4. I'm working as a TA in a year 4 class until i start my PGCE in Sept. On my first day in class a boy i was working with asked me:

    'Are women who have hair under their arms really men?'

    was in stitches!! Still makes me laugh.
  5. I overheard the TA helping a yr1 child read. She was trying to get him to get the word "uncle" right. She asked :"What do you call Mummy's brother?"
    He replied :"Daddy".

    Also in a yr3 class when filling in a worksheet about images of Boudica, Queen of the celts I asked a boy what Boudica looked like. He repiled "She looks like she's up for it!"
  6. mantilla

    mantilla New commenter

    My mum with my placement class on a trip recently.

    One of the girls said to her:
    Do you know, if there was a school bogey eating competition, I think I'd win. I can eat 1000 in an hour. These are the fingers I use (waves index fingers at her).

  7. Child to TA 'I like your moustache, you look just like a blonde panda'....(she was a lady)

    Same child when I had an unfortunate red blister on my nose 'Gosh Miss that gotta hurt', I then explained about personal comments and not pointing things out, he then stood outside the class door as the others arrived and told them all Miss X has a spot on her nose but you shouldn't say anything, so as they came in they all had a good look.
  8. Teacher: Only 69 days till christmas.

    Pupil: When is christmas?

    Teacher: You seriously want me to answer?

    Other pupil: Yes sir when is it?

    Teahcer: (Turns round and pretends to write on board, but cant help but laugh) 25th of December!!
  9. ghafran

    ghafran New commenter

    Year 2 kid from <u>London</u> wrote this for me on my last day with the class.

    "Dear Sir...fak you for teching me."


  10. We were doing about the rosary in RE in a year 1/2 class. The teacher was looking at some beads that one of the children had brought in. There was an inscription on them and the teacher was trying to read what it said, one boy put his hand up and said in a broad yorkshire accent

    "Miss I think it might say made in china. Like some things do."

    The teacher was like, no I think it might be some kind of religious phrase.

    It just tickled me the way he just came out with it!

    Also last christmas when doing about the nativity with the reception children, we were doing some writing assessments asking the children questions about the story and asking them to tell us an answer then attempt to write down their answer, we asked one little boy How Mary and Joseph got to Bethlehem, the little boy replied "Well they got a backy on a bike miss"

    Another child during a discussion with the class about how Mary and Joseph travelled on a donkey before she had Jesus, we talked about how she was very pregnant and tired etc.and how these days mummys get in cars or ambulances to get to the hospital quickly. One of the boys who always has done everything that you talk about or gone one better informed us that "My mum went on a donkey to the hospital when i was being born."- Typical!
  11. Year 9 boy when covering topic on rocks...
    Him: "what would happen if you drank lava?"
    Me: "erm...well, it'd hurt quite a lot, because lava is melted rock, so really quite hot"
    Him: "no, but miss, seriously, if i had a cup of lava...."

    We just ended up telling him that if he could drink lava he'd be a very rich man!

  12. The first full lesson I ever taught, a year 8 lad asked me "How come there are black people and white people?" *sigggggh*
  13. During Guided Reading in Y4 a couple weeks ago, I had this conversation:
    "Miss, your face looks different."
    "Yeah, your eyebrows...."
    "Oh yeah I plucked them."
    "Yeah, you know, you use the tweezer and you pull them out like this (gestures)."
    "Oh. You look like you've had that thing"
    "What thing?"
    "Erm, you know, that face surgery."
  14. Trying to be all positive with my new year 7 form, I have asked them to write somehting positive about every person in the class.

    One person wrote "She adores hores" (If read quickly it read like Whores) I believe they were trying to say "She adores horses"

    Made me laugh
  15. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    Yr 8 pupil whose class I am taking over to teach on my PGCE
    pupil: Miss? You're not a proper teacher are you?
    Me: No.
    Pupi: When will you be one then?
    Me: In one week ( I was taking them two weeks after).
    Pupil: I don't believe you miss.
    <e: Why?
    pupil: Because last year when we had Miss X she wasn't a proper teacher for a year.
    Me: Ah yes, but I;m older, and have been teaching in schools longer, so they are making me a proper teacher more quickly.
    Pupil: Oh ***. (Very disconsolately)
    Me: What's the matter?
    Pupil: Well, we'd planned to wind you up good and proper miss, but we can't if you're a proper tacher can we?

    It made me laugh a lot, and breathe a sigh of relief at the same time![​IMG]

  16. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    They censored B. u. gger. It has to be in - it doesn;t work as well without.

    Excuse other typos as well.

  17. A really sweet yr 4 boy (who looked like the milky bar kid) was excited about our trip to Caerleon Roman museum and historical site and kept asking questions;

    boy; Miss are we going to see the baths?

    miss; Yes we'll visit the baths.

    boy; Are we going to see the amphitheatre?

    miss; Yes we will have time to visit the amphitheatre also.

    boy; Miss are we going to see the bo**ocks?

    miss; Yes sweetheart we will definately visit the BARRACKS! (Lots of emphasis on the word barracks!)
  18. This one is from my son (age 6) in the pet shop (very seriously):

    'mam........... do rabbits speak french?'


    Turns out he is learning french and beginning to understand that some animals come from different countries! Bless!
  19. On my work experience placement in wrexham in a primary school. I was acting as an assistant to a group of year 5's, with literacy. And one young girl turned round and said

    pupil- whats your name?

    me- Mr Barber

    pupil- what?

    me- Mr Barber

    pupil- Can you cut hair (laughing)

    me- It could be arranged... (with a demonish grin, obviously joking!)

    pupil- *** off!

    I was too shocked to even react and eventually told the teacher who give her the biggest telling off of her life! it was rather funny tho :p

    someone else asked me the same question and they misheard me and said Mr Barbie???

    and that was my name for the week GRRRR!

  20. Whilst on my 1st year placement with a year 1 class a child had been to Florida over the Easter break, she was sharing her news with the class and the teacher asked her if she had had a hire car whilst she was out there, to which she looked very confused before bending down to put her hand out flat by her knee and answered no we got a lower one!

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