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funny things children say

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by MissAitch, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. Year 2

    Word problems
    Q: 12 more than 6
    A: Yes 12 is more than 6

    Q: Who can remember what a person is called when they write a book
    A: a Social worker

    make a word into a plural and put it into a sentence
    A: Rabbits lay eggs

    Preperation for xmas play, child dressed as a donkey (with donkey head lobsided) asks "Is another name for a donkey an Ass?"
    T = They can be but that isn`t as nice so we will use donkey
    C= cool I`m an ASS (Biggest grin ever!)

  2. Year one class, drawing farm animals and writing adjectives round them.

    Me: What words can describe what your pig looks like?
    Child: Umm it's fat, like my Gran becuase she's old!

    Got the giggles then!

    My housemate told me with her year 2 class, there was a real gem.

    child: Miss my uncle's picking me up today.
    J: Ooo that's nice
    Child: yeah my mum says he's a right queen
  3. During my final crit on my PGDE, I had a year 8 class who had found out that, like them, I loved "South Park".

    When I going round the various groups, one child asked, in front of my tutor, "Sir, did you see the one where Paris Hilton stuck a pineapple up herself"

    Surprisingly, I passed!
  4. I was in a bit of a flap coming back from the classroom and got to the classroom having forgotten the register and saw children lining up to come in.

    Child: Miss, your cheeks are red
    Me: I've been rushing around a bit at lunchtime
    Child: Oh, I thought you'd been drinking.

    That would have been my year one child!
  5. Teacher: tell me what you know about heaven??

    Child: its full of shoes miss!

    Teacher: Oh really? Why do you think that?

    Child: its where all your soles go!

  6. Year 2 doing a science experiment to see which materials were waterproof.

    T: Ben why do you think our roofs are made to slope like this?

    B: Well Miss, so when you have a sleepover and you have loads of mates over-you can all go and sleep in the loft!

    He had a point!!
  7. Year 8 science - I was demonstrating air expanding when it's heated by showing an empty pop bottle with a balloon over the neck and putting it in hot water.

    The balloon pops up. I ask the class "Why did the balloon go stiff?" (boys had started giggling when it happened, so I thought I'd go with it)

    One boy calls out "It saw another ballooon it really liked"

    Praise on my obs form for not laughing or going red!
  8. Assembly just before xmas, in a C of E school:

    Teacher: What other names are there for Father Christmas?

    Year 5 child: Jesus?

    I struggled to keep a straight face.
  9. miss have you got a baby in your belly??
  10. When asking a child to come up to whiteboard to add an idea about Labelling Headgehogs with their distinctive characteristics - (Yr 3 Reports ideas)

    I asked ..... hedgehogs have a good sense of...... (expecting the answer smell)... one boy piped up " They have a good Sense of Humour Miss"... Myself and Class Teacher in fits of giggles...

    not the best but it got me through a horrendous Thursday !! xx

  11. a sentence about magnets

    "magnets stick together because they are attractive".

    Yes they may be pretty but I think you mean attracted!

  12. Year 1, one child has a number written on their back while the others give clues to help them guess it (to consolidate concepts of more than, less than, odd, even etc).

    One really bright child pipes up, quite confidently, "it's an evil number."

    Always knew there was something strange about the number 16.

    Also, rather concerningly, I overheard a conversation between three year-3 children around Christmas time:

    Child A: Do you believe in Santa?
    Child B: No.
    Child C: Well, he WAS real, but he died 2000 years ago.
    Child A: Oh yeah! I've seen a photo of it!
  13. Just finished doing the Student Associates Scheme and one of my year 7's asked me (entirely unrelated to anything we were doing). :

    "Miss, would you rather kill yourself or be eaten by a crocodile?"

    I didn't give him the pleasure of giving him an answer (muttered something about it being an interesting question but not being relevant to what he was meant to be doing), but did continue to ponder it for the rest of the afternoon...
  14. My year 9's have taken an interest in what I will be doing next year. I told them I was going to go travelling.

    A few lessons later one of them pipes up "Miss, why do you want to be a traveller?"

    I had images of gypsy caravans...
  15. These made me laugh.

    My year 10s quite randomly pop up with things like "Miss, what would you do if a turkey flew in the window RIGHT NOW"

    And I was giving an end of year assessment and insisted on silence or they could come and repeat it after school so one child wrote "HELLO" on his calculator and held it up to me - not really funny but little things like that make you smile after a bad day!
  16. One came up today as I was walking quickly back to school from mass practice with some Year Six girls. I told them to slow down saying (jokingly) that I was very old. The girls asked me how old I was. When I replied that I was thirty four one of the girls piped up... "Miss you're not old, you're just middle aged!" Thanks a bloody million!
  17. This one isn't from school but was from a pupil outside of school.

    I had taken my 3 yr old son to the park. When four older secondary kids cam into the park. This isn't an issue until they start having an argument.

    One shouts out "**** off u tw*t! At this point I point out that my son is in the park and ask them to watch their language.

    She says "Sorry" and again shouts to the other kid "F off you Tw*t!" I was amused to find that Tw*t isn't a bad word?
  18. I work voluntary with a year 1 class at the moment whilst I'm waiting to start my PGCE in September. On Wednesday I was sat with a group doing sentences decsribing a picture showing a man and a dinosaur. One little girl said "Miss, how do you spell 'gunna'?". I asked her to explain the sentence and it was "The man is gunna ride on the dinosaur's back". I then obviously had to explain that 'gunna' is not actually the correct English and that she should be writing 'going to'. As amusing I found this I do think it's slightly worrying that the kids of today actually think words like 'gunna' are part of the normal English language!!
  19. phonics lesson.

    or sound

    pork, fork... I know miss, ****!

    giggle giggle!
  20. On TP in a year 2 class, teaching about materials:

    Me: 'Where do you get wood from?'
    Chn: 'Trees'
    Me: 'Where do you get leather from?'
    Child 1 : 'Argos'
    Me: No
    Child 2: 'Sainsburys'
    Me: No
    Child 3: 'From the market, Miss'
    Me: No! Not a shop
    Child 3: 'Miss you do, I've seen leather in the market.'
    Finally, a child says: 'A bull'
    Me: 'I'll take that...'

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