1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

funny things children say

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by MissAitch, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. On a trip with a year 1 class we passed a field full of cows one child said, "Miss how do you know which cows have which colour milk?"
    To which i replied "Sorry can you explain what you mean to me?"
    "Well how do you know which cows make green top milk and which cows make red top milk"
    To which i smiled and tryed to explain the process.
    Then another child just looked at me with a confused expression as though i was wrong and said, "Bet the brown ones have creamy milk.
    Sometimes children's answers are just bettter than the truth!!
     
  2. chocolate.eater

    chocolate.eater New commenter

    Pointed at the antennae on an insect in Y1 childs' reading book and asked if he knew what they were. He shook his head so I told him they are called 'Antannae'. "Oh, so they can get TV programs on them!" he replied!
     
  3. Y3 numeracy - CHN struggling to come up with another word that means "addition" - we'd had "sum" and "total". I dashed the 10 letters hangman style and started filling in some of the blanks - I got to
    a l _ _ g _ t _ e r when someone shouted out

















    alligator!

    He is now known as the Alligator Boy.

    Ans:altogether
     
  4. This is going bach to the days when my daughter and her friends were having sex education lessons in Year 4. One of her friends went home and said to her mum "When Christopher (her brother) grows up, he's going to get an electrocution!" Ouch!
     
  5. I was in a reception class when a young boy came up to me and said a little girl had an accident. So I went to investigate when we came across the little girl there was no sign of an accident. I asked the little boy about the accident and he replied 'she's got diabetes in her knickers'

    Standing there quite confused I then realised that he meant diarrhea!!! She had diarrhea in her knickers. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
     
  6. "I'm wearing my high-heeled socks!" (5 year old girl wearing long socks for the first time to school!)
     
  7. Don't forget Mrs Whiston.......I am your thermometer today!! (Aged 5)
    bless! Obviously very excited about being our class monitor. With Christmas exuberance taking over, she was spot on about her new role!!
     
  8. today I was talking to an eleven-year-old about the story of the three wise men. I was explaining to her about the gift of myrrh and how it was used as an ointment and she said 'oh, I see, for the baby's bottom!'

    what can you say to that?!?!?
     
  9. I have had a few classics in my short time as a supply teacher:

    1) Covering for a teacher off with a migrane;
    Child: 'Where is Mrs X?'
    Me: 'She is off with a headache.'
    Child: 'Maybe she drank too much wine, that always gives my mum a headache!'

    Did I mention this was a reception class?

    2) Talking to a YR,1 &2 class about the christmas story:
    'What presents did the three kings bring?' We got the Gold and the Mhyrr. Then many hands up, so I picked a year 2: 'Frankinstein!'

    3) Reading 'Little Penguin' with the same class: 'What type of Whale is William?' 'A spunk whale?' Well a sperm whale - close!
     
  10. talking with year 6 children during a sex education lesson.
    Child: Miss, my mum said that when you have sex you have to wear a popadom.
     
  11. Today i was in reception and this little girl came up to me and said, " Miss my back is broken!" :)


     
  12. There's a little boy in my year 2 class who struggles to understand english as his first language is farsi (sorry if that's the wrong spelling) so he turns up to school one day with some cornflakes and some milk and no matter how many different ways i asked him, he could not tell me why he had them with him. I figured he hadn't had time for breakfast so I asked another boy to ask him in farsi what he had for his breakfast. They had a big complicated exchange in farsi for a good minute and the boy i had asked to translated simply turned to me and said "coco pops Miss," awesome.
     
  13. This was during a year11 poetry lesson. One of my difficult boys was writing notes in the back of his book and then showing them to his mate on the other side of the room.

    I said his name in a stern way and shook my head. When I looked back up he was holding his book up to me and on the centre pages was written: "SORRY". I had to fight back the giggles, but the grin escaped!
     
  14. I was in a reception class and one little boy was telling us how his grandad had died and gone to heaven, when another boy put his hand up and said 'miss my daddy died aand went to heaven but he is home again now'. when asked what had happened to his daddy (trying to get to the bottom of the story) he said his daddy had gone to hospital because he wasnt very well and now he is back home. Hence followed an explanation about being ill and dieing.
     
  15. While on placement in a P1 class, i was working with a child and I asked him to give me a word beginning with 'f'.
    "What?" he replied.
    "Can you give me a word starting with 'f'? I asked again.
    "Em, I didn't hear you 'coz you were speaking in capital letters!"
    I couldn't do anything but laugh!

    In the same class while doing the register i asked a girl that had been off if she had a note for me. "Yes," she said, and proceeded to hand me a reminder phone bill!!!

    Again in the same class with the same girl as before, I asked her for her school trip money. She brought her mum's purse up to the desk!

    Needless to say this was the most enjoyable placement of my life and resulted in many laughs back at uni!!!
     
  16. God, how did you keep straight faces with these? I would have been out for the rest of the day with half of these.

    One of my P2 girls was telling me with great abandon that she couldn't get in the bathroom because her dad was having a 'really long poo'.

    This one is my mum's but it's a classic. She was doing sex ed for 16-18 year olds with learning difficulties. Obviously by this age the sex ed was all revision, but because they had retention difficulties she started again from the beginning, demonstrations on plastic willies, everything. Then she asks are there any questions and one lad asks: 'Mrs R do I put the condom over my trousers or underneath?' Back to the lesson planner!
     
  17. I did a quiz with a year 7 form who are the sweetest and one of the questions was "Hamburg is a city in which European Country?". There were lots of interesting answers, "America" for example, but the best one was "Hamsterdam!"

    Also they informed me that Prince Charles is also known as the Prince of Africa.
     
  18. I am not a student teacher, I'm a TA and got here by clicking in the wrong place, but these have made me cry with laughter so I'm going to tell you my favourite story.

    "Miss, what are those children doing outside?"

    "I think they must be on a nature walk - you know like we did last year? They're looking for little creatures, like worms and beetles and woodlice."

    (5 minutes later)

    "Miss, what are those children going to DO with the headlice?"
     
  19. Not children, but I had some good ones when I was an English assistant in a French high school last year.

    18-yr-old in a practice oral exam, talking about the dangers of the Internet: "Your childrens can have some bad meetings with men and get wrapped."

    There was another great one, but I seem to have forgotten it. :( Never mind.
     
  20. While on observations in a primary school:

    Teacher (taking register): 'Name', have you got a note for me for yesterday?
    Student: I told you miss, I wasn't in.
    Teacher: I know you weren't and I don't know why so I need a note from your parents.
    Student: miss, my mum was in court and my dad was at the job centre so I couldn't come in!

     

Share This Page