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Funny 'slips of the tongue' in lessons

Discussion in 'Secondary' started by nans, Nov 2, 2006.

  1. Managed to make a real blooper today in a yr 8 lesson! 2 boys were fussing, nicking each other's rulers, pens etc and arguing about it in a jokey way. In an attempt to control the situation I managed to utter the following:

    'Boys, is it really necessary for you to play with each other's equipment?'!!!

    Class and I both collapsed in giggles.

    Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else?!
     
  2. Managed to make a real blooper today in a yr 8 lesson! 2 boys were fussing, nicking each other's rulers, pens etc and arguing about it in a jokey way. In an attempt to control the situation I managed to utter the following:

    'Boys, is it really necessary for you to play with each other's equipment?'!!!

    Class and I both collapsed in giggles.

    Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else?!
     
  3. Telling a pupil that no I couldn't turn the radiator down/off because 'someone had stolen my kn*b!' (female teacher). I carried on with the conversation as if nothing had happened and I swear they thought I didn't know that I'd said something funny, the lesson carried on without a problem and me laughing on the inside...
     
  4. When standing up in front of a year 4 class, I intended to say "Right, success criteria". I got tongue tied and what actually came out was, "Right, sex". The other adults in the room tried very hard to conceal their laughter- and luckily only one little boy noticed and whipped round to look at them! Could have gone horribly wrong!
    Also, the TA was taking the class whilst the class teacher was on PPA. One child was complaining about how tired he was after PE, and the TA intended to say either "Well you can sit down and have a break" or "Well you can sit down and have a rest". So as you can guess, she actually said, "Well you can sit down and have a breast." I had to leave!
     
  5. Yesterday my Year 7 were blowing up balloons, covering them in newspaper and painting them as planets in the solar system. (They were making them to scale 'ish').

    Said to one student 'Please let some air out of Uranus and Uranus is simply too big'

    [​IMG] They were rolling about as I innocently asked 'What's the problem? I'm simply telling you to let some air out of Uranus..........it's got to be a comparable size to ***'s'
     
  6. My most rowdy Year 9 group were designing posters and leaflets to encourage healthy eating.
    Without thinking, I was looking sceptically at the miniscule drawings of fruit done by one of the lads on the A3 paper and I said 'you haven't got a very big banana there have you?' I decided not to pass comments on the tiny grapes he had drawn as well.
    Even though after that slip up I thought I was on guard for the rest of the lesson I managed another faux pas within the same hour when I told a female student who was drawing fruit as cartoon characters that I 'liked her cherry'
    Why Why WHY could I not have commented on the apple or the orange!? Thankfully I avoided mentioning the pear which could have been even worse.
    At that point, I wished I could have started the lesson over again!
     
  7. Year 8 electronics...Input-process-output
    I was applying this to a light switch
    "you walk into a dark room, the input is you flipping the switch. The process is completing the circuit, sending electricity to the light fitting. The light fitting thinks "ooh, hello. Someone's just turned me on..."
    Year 9 Food Tech
    Making a swiss roll, whisking the eggs and sugar with an electric blender...
    "The longer you leave it in, the bigger and whiter it gets"
    D'oh...
     
  8. " Dan will you stop playing with my balls!" (Dan had my ball-pool balls out the pack and was messing around with them) And yes the class heard, yes they laughed, but he stopped messing around!
     
  9. Ahhhhh this reminds me of when I was speaking to two American parents and eventually we got on to the subject of the upcoming half term holiday. I wanted to say "It's SO nice to have a break" and I'm glad to have a rest" and it came out as "I'm SO glad to have a breast!"

    I didn't realise why they were staring at me until after they left....
     
  10. I have been in stitches for the last 10 minutes so thought I would add one of my best lines. It went straight over the kids heads but how I managed to keep a straight face, I'll never know. I suspect if there had been another adult present I would have had to leave the room :)

    "Oh no children, the bouncy ball bag is all wet"

    The children collect bouncy balls to earn class rewards so I often come out with things like "Do you want to lose your balls?" Didn't really think that reward system through!
     
  11. I had a great Maths teacher at secondary who realised how 'slips' and rude phrases stuck in our minds. He couldn't teach us trigonometry as we never remembered which functions to use for finding angles. 'SOTCAHTOA' didn't stick in our minds until the day we came in to find Sex.On.Holiday.Comes.After.Huge.Tanks.Of.Ale on the board. I still remember it now.Apparently his other was 'sex on holiday can always help teachers anxiety.

    I'm primary, but EVERY phonics lesson where I've made year 1's find 'sl' words Ive had sl.ag or Sl.ut.
     
  12. These have made me smile on a Sunnday morning!
    The other one which I will always remember was an SRE lesson with year 8 where we had to discuss and number of senarios as a class. All was going well until we got to the question what should you do if you wanted to have sex but didn't have a condom. I wasn't too happy with question but the kids where good. 'You can't have sex'. You could run to the petrol station cos its open all night and buy a packet etc were the answers. This is fine I remember thinking until a little lad, whose parents are both teachers I may add, put his hands up. I know Miss he said, I would flip her over!
    I will never know how I kept a straight face cos I didn't know whether to laugh or gasp. Thank God the class didn't get it, and I quickly moved on.


     
  13. Oh my word! I'm trying to think of any other way to interpret that than the obvious!

     
  14. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Reading this again, thanks whoever upped it, reminded me of many years ago. Final TP at a Sec. Mod in Brighton, demming a fatless sponge.

    "You have to whisk the eggs and sugar until they're so thick you can write a 4-letter word on top."

    Many of them did!! Still, at least they'll remember how to make a fatless sponge!!
     
  15. year eight german... meant to call the boy a wally. got my vowels mixed up.
     
  16. Oh god, these have had me literally bawling with laughter, thankyou!

    I have had one similar to a previous poster, with "sh.at" being given in response as a word rhyming with "cat" when I was teaching year 2 whilst on teaching practice. The TA commended me for keeping a straight face!
     
  17. Robfreeman

    Robfreeman New commenter

    Myself and the other PGCE student teach a first aid club as she is a qualified first aid instructor type person

    X: Now that we are through all that boring **** lets move onto some fun ****.

    The group and myself just looked at her. Then she realised what she said.
     
  18. whapbapboogy

    whapbapboogy New commenter

    I was teaching directions in French to a boy-heavy year 10 class. I was shouting out things like, second on the left!', and asking them to hold up two fingers and point left, etc.
    The lads at the back weren't doing much, so I shouted, enthusiastically,
    'Come on, boys! I need a finger!'

     
  19. I knowAlliElle and believe me I spent many an hour pondering as to had he really meant what I thought. He was such a sweet kid but after that I must admit I did keep a close eye c'os it did make me wonder where he would pick that up from.
    Another time in a year 9 SRE class the kids were talking about their first kiss. OK I said who has had their first kiss. Half the class put their hands up and then a little voice from the back of the class said 'does kissing the dog count. You can only image the class falling off their seats with laughter. (I also knew I had nice kids cos I never heard it mentioned again).






     
  20. clangercrazy

    clangercrazy New commenter

    Not really a slip of the tongue, but I have to add...
    I'm a y4 teacher and we recently went on a school residential trip to an outdoor educational centre. Afterwards, the kids wrote what they liked and I turned it into a script, for an assembly to the whole school and all the parents. I wrote it 10:30pm, didn't check it, printed it out 28 times, gave it the kids and we started to read through it.....
    Hannah: We had to wear water proof trousers, a water proof coat, a life preserver, willies and a helmet to go canoeing.
    and then again later...
    Dana: the water was often right over the top of your willies!
    I was 10 seconds ahead of them reading it, and managed to gloss over it, saying 'wellies' very loudly - it should say wellies....carry on.....etc....etc.
    A few got it and giggled. They are a very challenging class so it could have gone much MUCH worse!
    Lesson learnt. Proof read scripts before handing them out.
    OOh and microsoft word does not recognise wellies as a word, but does recognise willies...
     

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