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Funny quotes made by children - Just for fun!!

Discussion in 'Teaching assistants' started by Supertrew, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. [​IMG]Hi has anyone got any funny quotes to share made by the children you teach?? Here is mine:
    Teacher: What shape is this class? It has 8 sides and 8 corners? (Teacher holds up and octagon)
    Child: I know miss it an oxgene!!
    Made me chuckle....[​IMG]
  2. [​IMG]Hi has anyone got any funny quotes to share made by the children you teach?? Here is mine:
    Teacher: What shape is this class? It has 8 sides and 8 corners? (Teacher holds up and octagon)
    Child: I know miss it an oxgene!!
    Made me chuckle....[​IMG]
  3. I was marking homework this morning. Children had to think of 30+ words with "shun" endings (i.e. tion, sion, cian).
    One girl had included 'masterbation'.........[​IMG]
    Couldn't decide whether to correct her spelling mistake or just gloss over it [​IMG]
  4. My favourite one, which I will treasure forever, happened when we were describing fairy tale characters without saying their names (Year 3). One boy wrote, 'He has green ****'. I nearly burst out laughing and asked him what he meant. He was describing Peter Pan who wears green tights!!
    I guess someone needed to practise his '-igh' sounds in phonics!

    We had another classic the other day, the teacher asked if anyone knew what a carnivore was. A boy (again!) said it was a kind of funfair. Me and the teacher exchanged smiles. Love it!
  5. scienceteacher11

    scienceteacher11 New commenter

    How old was the child? A young child shouldn't know that word..on a serious note I would be extremely concerned about that child and be keeping a very close eye on them if you know what I mean. Its signs like that that shouldnt be ignored.
  6. He is a year 3 so 7 or 8. He wasn't using it as the word **** - he is a LA child who does struggle with spellings and he just didnt know that the 'i' sound in tights is 'igh'! When I asked him what he meant, he read it back to me as 'tights' and I certainly didn't let him know what he actually had written.
    It is a valid point you have made but knowing the child I do believe it was a genuine naive mistake.
  7. scienceteacher11

    scienceteacher11 New commenter

    i was refering to the post above yours about masturbation
  8. I told a 5 year old he had his 'd' the wrong way round. His reply 'Oh ****'
    Whilst reading a book with a SEN child he got very excited and pointed at an exclamation mark 'Oh look its a questionation mark!'
    Teacher was holding up a cylinder, 'What shape is this?' 'It's a toilet roll'
    Children had white boards and pens and had to see how many times they could write their name in a minute....when the minute was up a little lad looked up at the teacher and said 'God I'm knackered!
    Spelling test....I read a sentence with the word large in it then said I want you to write the word 'large'

    six year old boy said...'Can't I just write 'big'?
    During my phonics session with year 2s, the children were looking at the IWB. One little boy said to me 'Please can I get my glasses?'
    'Of course you can' I replied (but also quite concerned because I didnt know he wore glasses) 'Where are your glasses?' 'They are in my drawer' 'Right go and get them then' I continued with my lesson. I looked down at the little boy and there he is sitting looking intently at the Whiteboard with massive black sunglasses on. It was so funny!
    I said 'I dont think they are reading glasses are they?' He smiled and said 'No they are for when it is sunny' 'Well it isnt sunny now is it? Put them back in your drawer!'

    I have loads lol. Will try and think of some more

  9. I can say that it wasn't a young child - but pupil didn't know what it meant anyway. When asked by teacher how they had come about their words, they had been on the internet at home and typed in 'words ending in tion' and just copied the list (poorly, judging by the spelling).

  10. Ahh, I did think you were being a bit extreme. My bad. Yes, in that case I would be a bit concerned too
  11. In a year 4 literacy lesson about 'The Shirt Machine' one lower ability child wrote "The machine spits the **** out" referring to the shirt being released from the machine. Another child wrote that the shirts get raped before being sent. They were describing the packaging and being 'wrapped'. Made me chuckle!
  12. I used to know a lovely, very serious little dyslexic boy who had the same mistake pointed out to him, looked up to the ceiling and muttered with sarcasm beyond his years, "Thank you for blessing me with back-to-front numbers."

    Best one I've heard recently - someone wasn't getting on with his Maths, I tried to get him back on task and he said, "I don't DO Maths. I do History."
  13. I taught in a Church school where the majority of children were Muslim/Hindu. Over the first term they had to say the Lord's Prayer in each assembly. I noticed they didn't quite notice so I went over it in class......
    Our father who art in heaven, Harold is his name.....(the rest was pretty correct until).................. Ahmed
  14. We have a conservation area in our school and one child who was in reception at the time reported that another child had gone into the "constipation area"!
  15. Helping a LA pupil count to ten by using my fingers
    'Miss, can I ask you something?'
    'Of course, what is it'
    'Are you very old?'
    'Why do you ask?'
    'Because your hands need ironing Miss'
  16. I asked my phonics group of 6 Year 2's if they knew the correct name for the Wait and See dots ...

    They had been told in passing in their normal literacy lesson a few days previously but I wondered if they remembered it. One boy eagerly shot up his hand and proundly anounced, 'APOCALYPSE!'

    (I hope I have spelt it correctly!) [​IMG]
  17. But I obviously can't spell 'proudly' or 'announced'!

    I need a drink! [​IMG]
  18. When working on newspaper articles I asked the class if they knew what a 'hidden agenda' was. 'Yes' a girl replied brightly, 'I'ts when you don't know what sex someone is!'
    Sadly, this was a year 11 class and no other student understood why the teacher and I were smiling.

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