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Funny how it goes

Discussion in 'Personal' started by anon3946, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. I've just realised that of my 100+ Facebook friends, 60-odd contacts in my phone book, etc, there isn't a single person I can call to beg for a shoulder to cry on in times of trouble. I feel horribly isolated right now- old friends have drifted, the only new people I meet (due to time and money constraints) are people I work with in some capacity and I'm left writing garbled posts on a teaching forum.

    Any tips really on how to maintain that game face when you're unsure of why the hell you keep plodding on? I'm okay when I have classes or get buried in a pile of work but when everyone's telling me to ease up or burn out, how do I explain it's ONLY the work that keeps me from melting?

    Or, just throw a stick at me and tell me to stop being such a big girl's blouse. Or tell me a joke. Thank you
     
  2. I've just realised that of my 100+ Facebook friends, 60-odd contacts in my phone book, etc, there isn't a single person I can call to beg for a shoulder to cry on in times of trouble. I feel horribly isolated right now- old friends have drifted, the only new people I meet (due to time and money constraints) are people I work with in some capacity and I'm left writing garbled posts on a teaching forum.

    Any tips really on how to maintain that game face when you're unsure of why the hell you keep plodding on? I'm okay when I have classes or get buried in a pile of work but when everyone's telling me to ease up or burn out, how do I explain it's ONLY the work that keeps me from melting?

    Or, just throw a stick at me and tell me to stop being such a big girl's blouse. Or tell me a joke. Thank you
     
  3. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Life can be tough and work is a good distraction, probably for a lot of people. It's certainly been a life-saver for me over the last decade, so you're not alone in that.

    As for how to keep going; just do. Every day is another day done/survived and some days might sometimes have a little joy in them for you. If not, a garbled message on an Internet forum isn't a bad way to let off steam in the absence of a real shoulder to cry on.
     
  4. guinnesspuss

    guinnesspuss Star commenter

    TES has been a sanity saver for me this past year. I look through the lighthearted threads like Lil's hints or parson's cat or wee scabby dug v killer cat and laugh. Yes, even LOL.
    Nothing lasts too long, this tunnel will open out sooner or later.
    There are a lot of people here who possibly feel the same or have done in the past. We're here [​IMG](and not always judgemental)
     
  5. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Best left to a professional. His child psychologist visit routine never fails to crack me up.
     
  6. Best piece of advice a Head gave me was to think about things in the holidays - I did and he will be minus a cracking member of staff (according to OFSTED as well) in January! Life is too short and I decided to get off the ride and focus on finding something which will allow me a personal life and time to have one. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in work and spend more and more time working but there are some things in life that can't be put off indefinitely e.g. having children as I found out. Best advice I can think of is - make it to the end of term, the have a jolly good rest and sleep and think about things. Big hugs xx
     
  7. Thank you all :) The eyes have stopped that wird leaking thing at any rate.
    Lexy- the issue is that I'm utterly terrified of the holidays. It involves going home, to the very situation that is causing such stress, and no, there's no way out of it. I NEED the work to keep going, and my mentor has said that in my report, she's putting that I need to take on less work/projects because I'll have no "me-time"- which is a horrific thought, because I do NOT want to be disallowed from projects that will boost my CV and keep me sane. I need the work, not the holiday.
     
  8. It sounds as though work is a distraction for you and stops you thinking too much about the tricky issues in life. Unfortunately it sounds as though it leaves you little time to do things outside of work.
    Those non-work activities are important to balance our lives and if we don't mix with people outside of work it can be hard to build supportive relationships.
    I am the world's worst at this, after a day at work I just want to collapse in a heap and stay put at home. If I do make the effort I am glad that I did. Trying to keep up friendships in these busy times is a challenge but there is nothing like a good laugh or a 'non work related' conversation to help you see things differently.
    It's great to enjoy your work but you have to enjoy your life as well. Maybe the upcoming holidays could be an opportunity to think about addressing the work-life balance thing.
    Maybe we all need to think a little more about the things in life that we put off because we are too busy working. Good luck Lexyboo - very brave![​IMG]

     
  9. Wera6

    Wera6 New commenter

    Day at a time luvvie, if posting here helps you get it out of your system its all to the good.
    Chin up & carry on!
     
  10. I had an awful time last year (as many regular TESSERS will know). My FIL was dying and my OH spent most of the year away with his dad. I was alone, sad and depressed but didn't feel like talking to anyone in person. TES kept me sane.

    Bad times pass, and things will get better again. Take care of yourself
     
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Why are you worrying about CV and looking good .If youhave the talent you will out.All teachers have this desire to impress and to create an 'employability' aura about themselvess.Believe me, it dont work...no matter how hard you work to be useful and learned.In the end heads are looking for teachers who know thier stuff..not supper kids.
    Ones who have shown they are able to improve, enrich and develop the lives of children entrusted to them....the other bits and projects do nothing but give youy tasters...and possibly give you creative stimulus.......often which you then find unable to carry out ofr follow through.
    Work does beconme a way of life and if you persist you will lose your friends....it takes time to cultivate a good friend and to develop a social pattern.If the home life is that which drives you to work them maybe your better off not being at home.The best advice i gave my daughter was to bugg er off to uni....she grew up , fought ther battles and found her life......something she might never have done at home with us.Your an adult in life so now you have to take the reins and chose for yourself what you feel is right,.even if others dont agree....for we all have the free will to make decisions and to make our own mistakes(even if painfully).
    None of us are islands,.for every island attracts someone or somethng unless we shun,attack or ignore......accept the folks who come along,enjoy the small laughs as well as the little ones,the sharing of gossip time...which might lead to friends,the joy of a coffee or the brief chat on the phone......all of which take time,care and love to develop and enrich.Remember others may not see you as you think they do...and in a busy world we have to be approachable.........for sometimes we entertain angels unawares.
     

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