1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice
  3. The Teacher Q&A will be closing soon.

    If you have any information that you would like to keep or refer to in the future please can you copy and paste the information to a format suitable for you to save or take screen shots of the questions and responses you are interested in.

    Don’t forget you can still use the rest of the forums on theTes Community to post questions and get the advice, help and support you require from your peers for all your teaching needs.

    Dismiss Notice

Friends who are draining.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by eggnchips, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. I've been fatigued lately (hormonal nonsense) and friends who off load are getting me down. How to avoid and how to manage such encounters?
     
  2. I have been in a similar situation with one of my friends, who always has something or someone (namely some of our mutual friends) to moan about. For most of the time, I just didn't call her, and only answered a few texts. We have the type of friendship where we can not see each other for a few weeks and still be really close when we do. This is great as it means our busy lives don't get in the way of our friendship. As far as I know, she didn't know that I wasn't replying on purpose. It just gave me some time to myself to concentrate on my own issues. I also made sure that I spoke about things that may have been causing some stress to my fiance and relatives, so that I wasn't keeping it all bottled up. When my friend and I did see each other, we were with our mutual friends, so she had someone other than me to moan to. Hope this helps, and hope you feel better about things soon.
     
  3. Like just sort of duck and avoid for a while?
     
  4. Yes, really. Perhaps not totally avoid (send a text here and there) as you probably don't want to become distant. Something just short of cold turkey.
    The other solution is that you could tell them that you're fatigued and can't be bothered listening to their problems, as you are trying to cope with your own. Not sure how well that'd go down though [​IMG]
     
  5. Spread the load. I agree with getrichquick.
     
  6. Avoid like the plague! You only need friends that boost you and make you feel good. Not moany, wingey ones. I realised this some years ago now . Unfortunately this includes mr Mad who is very negative but I never listen to him anyway. Wasn't happy with me this morning. Well I was only using the hammer drill to put up a kitchen blind the morning after his day at the beer festival.
    No you need positive, optimistic, cheerful friends like a lot of us on here Imps !
     
  7. Sorry I meant eggnchips not impis. My memory is useless these days !
     
  8. It very much depends on if they are always draining or whether you currently find them draining because you are fragile yourself.
    I have cut off some "friends" who just took, took, took.
    I have stood by some friends who moaned, moaned, moaned.
    Those were the friends who have stood by me when I was down.
    A friendship is a two-way thing and we are not always all at the same contented or happy points in our lives.
    A true friend will know that if you take a time-out and say you are feeling down, that the friendship is not necessarily dead.
    I currently have a friend who is driving me nuts - but I know what they are going through. So I bite my tongue - but also only meet up with them every couple of weeks. Sometimes I am just not available - i.e. I do not answer the phone.
    This gives me time to adjust and think - and I will be there for them once I have caught my breath.

     
  9. Don't know maybe it's me but a lot of them seem to be in a mess.
    Friend One a bit fragile emotionally involved with man with issues/baggage relationship clearly going nowhere.
    Friend Two very sick of partner.Having surgery soon.
    Friend Three bit needy.
    Friend Four bit manic rings up a lot puts me on the spot and asks me to do things.
     
  10. Five lost partner very sad
    Six violence at home.
    OMG this is not good.
     

Share This Page