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Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by gisbii91, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. gisbii91

    gisbii91 New commenter

    I was a young support worker in a secondary school this year in my area and have now left.
    Some of the people I am friends with or hang around with also talk to or hang around with some of the year 11 (now past year 11s) at the school I was in.

    I never worked with any of them but I was wondering what the legislation and stuff is on this type of situation as they are only 16 opposed to 18.
    None of us attend the school anymore but I know it is at best a grey area.

    I would never go to an ex students house or have them at mine but I mean if I was to go to my friends house and they were to also come, is that okay?
  2. DYNAMO67

    DYNAMO67 Lead commenter

    I don't think that there is a great deal in this as you are no longer at the school.

    Just out of interest, how old are you to be socialising with people of this age?
  3. ValentinoRossi

    ValentinoRossi Star commenter

    Trip trap trip trap!
  4. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    This, if true, must have been a problem all of last year when you did work at the school and it would not have been appropriate at all. Your friends cannot suddenly have palled up with your ex-students over the summer holidays.
  5. Geoff Thomas

    Geoff Thomas Star commenter

    I think from the phrasing that the OP thinks there might be something (that might be seen as) wrong.

    Which perhaps indicates that there is a nagging doubt.

    And we all know what that is about, including the OP.

    To put it simply, gisbii91, whatever does or doesn't go on at your friend's house with year 12 pupils for whom you had some responsibility when they were in year 11, you may be sure that it would not look good if someone were to report it.

    But I think you knew that(?)
    sabrinakat likes this.
  6. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    It sounds as if (a) you are not that much older than these ex-students, and (b) they are not actually the students you worked with in the school.
    You can hardly be expected to absent yourself from every social situation where ex-pupils of the local secondary are present. It would probably be wise to avoid ending up in close friendships with pupils you knew (even if not well) at the school, and definitely worth keeping a bit of distance from those you worked with, but I can't see it's likely to be a problem if you encounter each other at parties and in public. The most awkward thing is if you're at a friend's house and an ex-student turns up, so that there are only three of you around - if you know that this could happen, maybe it's best to meet that friend at your house or at a coffee shop.
  7. DYNAMO67

    DYNAMO67 Lead commenter

    I also think that it depends greatly what you are doing now, and what the nature of the social contact is. Unlike @Geoff Thomas I am not going to jump to conclusions about what is going on. I guess they are suggesting drugs, be it illegal or legal, but I think it is unfair to cast aspersions.

    I would be cautious not to put yourself in any position where you are more than an acquaintance, at least until they are 18 and don't do anything like buying alcohol etc.

    If you are say, 19 and are still working in the sector you have to be extra cautious. Probably less if you have left working with youngsters into a job where where such a scenario is fairly inconsequential.

    I will say one thing. Your user name has 91 in the title. I am not one to tell someone how to live their life. If you are 25 though, some may find it strange to be hanging round with 16 year olds
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2016
  8. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    If you are indeed 24 or 25, the term 'hang around' is a bit concerning! Is 'hanging around' valid and acceptable beyond ones teens?!

    At one extreme, some school staff would extricate themselves from Sainsburys if, God forbid, a student from the school they worked at showed up.

    If you still work at a school or with young people, having any sort of friendship with anyone under 18 is at best very ill advised. Even 18/19 is iffy - upper sixth form and/or repeaters. I would say the safe water mark is an age without 'teen' in it.

    If you are actually say 19 yourself though, I can see how this gets more difficult! I would echo the advice of the above poster in this case!
  9. purplecarrot

    purplecarrot Senior commenter

    It's not always a red flag eg years ago I worked in a school where (much younger) siblings and cousins of my friends went. I was actually quite good friends with one in a surrogate sister sort of way. I did modify my social life a little eg leave before 18/19 year olds got drunk.
    I have colleagues who run guides and youth clubs that have some students from school.

    If there's a perfectly good reason then it's as simple as inform school and behave appropriately.

    The question is are your situations appropriate?
  10. TrueFaith

    TrueFaith Occasional commenter

    I think you sum up the two situations there. My son goes to singing lessons with a former colleague. She runs a group for older kids, largely made up of pupils from school. I attend all of the concerts and generally help out with sound on the night. Similar to Guides/church groups etc the chances of eyebrows being raised are minimal.

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