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Discussion in 'Personal' started by jacob, Jun 24, 2005.
I'd send a couplet and be blunt
Offensive words prove me a cvnt.
Good evening, dear folk
I thought I'd send you a joke
But my sense of humour has just died
And my witty brain is seriously fried
So before I get pie-eyed
I'll send you one of my big wide ...
Is that a bird I see ahead of me?
Or a dragon the hue of frozen peas?
Or have a spilt my tea once more
Across my screen and on the floor?
I started this some time ago
While bored upon a Friday
Well at the time, you see dear folks
Things weren't quite going my way.
A lot of water now has passed
Beneath those arches spanning
I've found a woman worthy of
More than a cursory scanning.
Indeed, I'd have to say, at least
She fits the bill quite nicely
Olympics in the bedroom zone
Can often get quite spicey!
The moral of this tale you know
When starting threads a plenty
Is that there are but few I fear
That ever get past twenty!
(Can we do 1000?)
This Friday fine, by half past nine,
For inspiring me poetic
A prize there is, but not a quiz,
For those who aren't pathetic.
This day will reach, just like a peach
The thousand posts I wanted,
It took a while, to make me smile,
This forum I have haunted.
twas christmas time on the website
with everyone worn out
Not even Beckham in a thong
would make me want to shout
a term of coughing, and meeting targets
have left me like a wreck
I am so haggered tired and ill
I'd turn my back on Beck
But one thing has me invigerated
One thing has me inspired
The thought that we will make 1000posts
has made me much less tired
Have I done it?
Is it me?
I suppose I will have to wait and see!
My ****, my ****, they've stole my truck!
I have a life, thanks,
So why am I here?
Is that too philosophical,
Or just rather queer?
Half way through your hols,
(But not us in FE)
Cos we all got **** on
Friday night Jacob's here again,
To recapture our imagination, maybe then,
He'll leave us hanging on the thread
Until it's past our time for bed.
Awaiting for another post,
Of lyrical wonderings of his most
Poetic, sublime and often rhyming
Is it me or have i lost my timing??
So here we all are, digesting this sh1t
Reading the poem that i just writ
Good evening to you everyone
Thats it, ta-ta, cuz now I'm done.
Its friday night
And now its nine
So what that means?
Its Torchwood time!
Friday night I know it's not,
The poet in me just can't stop.
A thousand posts we can again create.
So Jacob can remain in a happy state.
Poetry I just can't do
It makes me want to have a poo
But still I'll try a bit
Even though I know its.... rubbish
Its Boxing Night
The TV's sh!te!
And this is re-invented,
I got some sock,
and in a box
Some stuff that's nicely scented.
There is no Wii
Just films of garbage words
For it was said
By him long dead
You cannot polish turds!
Please don't be so sad and sorry. You can watch an hour of Corrie!
Into my eyes, I'd rather poke
rRd hot pokers for a joke
Than ever to be made to see
An hour of Corrie on my TV!
Corrie, Eastenders, Hollyoaks
Soaps are for girlies not for blokes.
'cept i'm a girly and hate them all
I'd rather stare at a drying wall!
Friday night telly is really grim
To bare it all I need a gin!
Old sit coms, films and tripe galore
Am I the only one who's bored?
Don't bare it all! You might get cold.
I'm not a girlie. I'm quite old.