1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Friday night (****) poetry corner for the very very bored.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by jacob, Jun 24, 2005.

  1. as i espy

    a headteacher a'smirking

    i often wonder

    why he aint workin.

  2. Oh, who's the head?
    Is it you, dear Ed?
    Cos it ain't poor me
    As you can plainly see!
  3. i must admit

    my eyesight fails me

    can't see your handle

    is it lit baby?
  4. as time goes by so quickly

    and the new year fast approaches

    i will sit and contemplate

    how to zap them f*ckin' cockroaches.
  5. 'Tis indeed Lit babe
    Cos I am small and like books
    Obviously, the babe
    Is to do with my good looks!
  6. So Friday has come round again
    And my poorly knee has been a pain
    Thank goodness, it was a 3 day week
    Cos I'm feeling like a dusty antique.
  7. cinderellyfaerie

    cinderellyfaerie New commenter

    Friday afternoon it is,
    Not friday in the eve
    I am home and unemployed
    no money in my purse sleeve
    But who gives a ****
    Cos' i have daytime tv
    and then later on, a nap
    so you see, i am not as forlorn as i could be :)

  8. fishandchips

    fishandchips New commenter

    Unemployed I am too,
    But what can I do?
    Without a penny to my name.
    Hence sitting here,
    with noone near,
    Writing poetry so lame.

  9. cinderellyfaerie

    cinderellyfaerie New commenter

    I am downloading things
    on to my daddys lappy
    if i ruin his computer one more time
    he's going to fill his nappy


    (oh god that was the worst yet)
  10. fishandchips

    fishandchips New commenter

    To your situation I can relate;
    My boyfriend will be home quite late.
    To relieve my boredom I will bake,
    A nice big tasty chocolate cake!

    But first I need to go,
    to Asda in the rain and cold.
    It's a ******,
    But I haven't got any icing sugar!

  11. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Get hence ye lady cooks, and to your kitchens go!
    The weather's mild, there is no frost, and neither any snow!
    Bestow upon your gentlemen the tastiest repast,
    Its nearly two, so make the stew, into the oven fast!
    Upon his laboured voyage home into the pub he might,
    To quaff a jolly pint of ale, but not get in a fight.
    His tired old feet, his beard near white, his countenance so craggy,
    But if you're still a bit of fluff, perhaps you'll get a shag(gy)!
  12. fishandchips

    fishandchips New commenter


    This humble housewife,
    Can cause a lot of strife,
    To a man after only one thing.

    If a man comes home late,
    He will face a tough fate,
    If all he expects is a shag.

    He better appreciate,
    efforts his missus will dedicate,
    Or see his testicles kept in a bag.

    *Or as someone I know put it: "he'll be wearing the cake as a hat".

  13. Tis a Friday be sure
    There'll be poems galore
    Tho' most will be poor
    Kind of like this one is.
  14. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Tis not quite Friday night I'd say
    But I managed to get away early
    I'm naked in front of my PC
    Just waiting for my girly!
  15. 'Tis Friday and joy should be waiting ahead
    But dread and despair are looming instead.
    I've marking, assessment and planning to file
    annotating, analysing it could take a while.
    For the literacy audit on Monday awaits,
    So much for fun and hot steamy dates.
    Oh where is my hero to rescue me thus?
    To take me away from this nonsense and fuss.
    Where is the weekend of wild waton pleasure?
    Where is the alcohol that I so treasure?
    As I take up my pen, my mark book and scores
    I wait for a gentle wrap on the door.
    I know that the time this weekend will drag
    Unless I get on with it, then I can brag.
    I'll run to the pub and grab me a man
    And take him back home as fast as I can.
    Forgotten will be that Damocles sword
    Until Monday arrives with all it has stored.
    So spare me a thought this weekend my friend
    And hope that this workload soon comes to an end
    So that I may indulge as all single girls must
    In a weekend of alcohol, pleasure and lust.
  16. (((hope_ful)))

    Well, I thought I'd post before going to the pub
    (For Litty, there is no welcome in a gltzy club!)
    So I'm blowing my kisses to you ... and you
    And, yes, Jacob! To you too!

  17. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Time for a revival methinks
    Especially as you lot all stink
    You can't write a ditty
    Your pomes are all sh!tty
    I'll come round and pee in your sink!

  18. I thought that my previous ode was ok
    Full of insight, emotion, desire and dismay.
    The audit turned out to be better than hoped
    I was rather happy with just how I coped.

    This weekend is much better I hasten to say
    With football and beer a flowing all day.
    With the evening full of romance and pleasure
    I think that this weekend will be one that I treasure.
  19. My ditties stink! I hear you say
    Right then, jacob, it's time to pay!
    I'll have a glass of wine
    And maltesers would be fine!
  20. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Up from my humble bed stir I!
    I feel so ill, I don't know why.
    The great unwashed await my wit,
    But will this do? This pile of poo?

Share This Page