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"Fresher Pressure"

Discussion in 'Personal' started by grumpydogwoman, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I put this in inverted commas because I don't think it deserves to be a "thing".

    Woman's Hour yesterday and today.

    Two soppy girls moaning about having to be clever and attractive and get in with the right crowd and look after themselves when starting at university.

    Er, you don't have to. And, if you want to do all that, just get on with it because you're very fortunate to be there in the first place.

    Really wound me up. Oh, poor things. They weren't top of the class any more. Awww. Diddums. These weren't even kids who had to work their way through. I can understand fatigue. I can understand worrying about money but "fresher pressure"??? One is worried that she doesn't drink. So what???? Don't. It's not essential.

    It takes some getting used to and it's very different from being at home but pur-leeze!!! Counselling?
  2. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Read the Times today young girl at private boarding school saying how hard it is keeping off legal highs as everyone is doing it.
  3. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Would do, RM, but don't pay for papers.

    That 'everybody does it' justification has always riled me. :mad:
  4. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    According to her not only is bulimia and anorexia endemic in boarding schools, the pressure to, "Do Well." is more than most of them can stand. When was ,"doing as well as one could" no longer the norm?
    bombaysapphire likes this.
  5. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Can you imagine what those precious little flowers would be like if - as in back in the day - they left school at 15 and went out and had to WORK?
    snowyhead, InkyP and grumpydogwoman like this.
  6. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I don't know.

    I would have thought they were all guaranteed A*s in boarding schools. Every man and his dog gets at least five these days. What's the point of paying for education, eh?

    It's not as if that degree is going to get you a 'good' job. Every second retail assistant is a graduate.

    I'm sorry but, just because others are posting thinner and more bejewelled selfies on twitter, you don't have to do that. I don't know, RM, when did the world change so? I don't think targets help. Just do your best. Never mind some arbitrary figure set by someone who has him/herself an unrealistic target to reach. Just do your best.

    Or even DON'T do your best. See what happens.
  7. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    In some ways I do understand this self imposed pressure. I taught a boy who had always been top of the class in everything since he was 4 and started school. He achieved top grades in everything but was not boastful or a show off-he was lovely! He entered Oxbridge and suddenly found he was no longer top of everything and his confidence took one heck of a beating to the extent where he contemplated leaving university.

    Yes, we can criticise because as adults, we know that life consists of going through a variety of experiences but for this lad, aged 20, he felt his world was falling apart.

    Luckily, with the help and support of long-standing friends, he overcame his doubts. Had he been a show-off and an arrogant lad, I suspect he might not have had the support he needed to get him through his dark days.

    Who'd be a teenager today? :eek:
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  8. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    In their defence, these girls are just girls. They still have a lot of growing up to do. My son - immature, gay, nearly cracked up during his first year. Many of us are pretty fragile mentally at that age.

    I was crosser at Jane Garvey's increasingly cliched style - feminism "having a moment"! She should check herself. Yesterday she asked someone who had had some sort of crisis - "And diidn't you feel better once you had admitted you had a problem" Positively Alan Partridge! The interviewee just mumbled something and frankly sounded quite distressed.
    Usually I really like her breezy style.
    snowyhead and grumpydogwoman like this.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Well, yes and no, DL.

    I lived in a student house where the kitchen was infested with slugs and cockroaches. We still had to work, make new friends, cook, budget etc etc.

    It wasn't a barrel of laughs and I am sure today brings different pressures but counselling?????
    monicabilongame likes this.
  10. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    In my primary school days we had a star chart for achievement - and I was always somewhere in the middle - never managed to get to the top. My mother (who also taught at the school) told me later that I had actually been at the top the whole time, but because they thought I'd slack off if I knew this, they kept me in the middle of the star chart to keep me working.

    If everyone at secondaries were not so hung up on their grades to the exclusion of everything else, it would be less of a problem. We never knew what our expected or target grades were for O/A levels - we just did the best we could and got whatever we got. The teachers might have had an idea, but they never told us. Maybe schools should focus on the whole student more and on their grades less, and then the students might do the same.
    InkyP and grumpydogwoman like this.
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I don't like Garvey or Murray. Never did like Murray but Garvey is getting annoying.
  12. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Oh, counselling is the answer to everything nowadays, didn't you know? Kids who fall out with other kids at school go around telling staff they have to leave the classroom and go and see the yoof worker because they are having ishoos. It starts very young.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  13. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I got caught up in the "it's good to talk" nonsense. I no longer agree. I'm going back to my roots.

    Stick on a smile and say everything is fine. Never mind. Just get on with it. I am sick to the back of teeth of indulging what amounts to whingeing.
  14. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I now have a picture of you growling and snapping at the radio from 10.00 most mornings. :)
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  15. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Our student house was utterly vile and we had little in the way of cooking facilities. Whilst on a placement in a school, I had to travel on public transport, with files, resources for infants and on one occasion, a hamster in a cage!

    I lived on Weetabix and Smarties and got on with it!
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  16. BobbyPhilips

    BobbyPhilips Established commenter

    It's no longer the 1970s when the obligatory dress code was different. And it's no longer for the very fortunate.
    40 years is a long time.
  17. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Whilst touring prospective halls of residence when the offspring were considering Uni I had to bite my cheeks every time I heard some overanxious mummy ask how often the domestic would be cleaning little Tarquin's or Africa's en suite.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  18. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    My mother nearly died when she saw my shared house where I lived for my last year at TTC. She was paying the rent and wanted to 'have a little word' with the landlord.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  19. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Looking back I was woefully badly prepared for university. I didn't know that at the time fortunately and gradually acquired more social skills.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    I think there are probably more pressures these days - the expectations seem pretty high and life just doesn't always live up to the hype.

    I really didn't like when the 2 girls on the radio mentioned having to wear the right clothes as one of their problems - as students?? They did seem quite ... precious, is the nearest word I can come up with. But I felt a bit sorry for them - they seemed to feel they had to be perfect at everything and were very focussed on image and what other people think.

    In my day ... and yes, it was a long time ago ... I think we were much more short-sighted. We wanted to have friends and fun and do a bit of work and get a degree. That was it really. And we weren't paying £9000 a year for the pleasure.

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