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For those who have been separated / divorced a while ?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, May 9, 2011.

  1. Your post gave me some hope but think at the moment it,s still too soon and I dont want to see my husband and my stomach turns over when I see a car like his. Do try and encourage the other 2 to see their Dad but they are near adults and have made their views very clear as to what they think of their Dad ( had affair ).
     
  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    We split up in 1986 after 10 years of marriage. My son was 10 and my daughter just a baby. It's a long time ago but immediately after we split I took it very badly and it took me some time to get over it. I gritted my teeth initially but found it very hard to see my ex playing "happy families" with my children. It probably took me the best part of 3 years before I was over him though.
    I think it's probably more difficult to influence older children but there's little doubt that they'll respond to how you're coping - it's more difficult to hide your hurt from older children.

     
  3. We'd been married nearly 20 years so maybe I'm expecting too much after 2 months apart ! Yes the older ones fully aware of why he,s not here and how much it,s hurt me.
     
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    After that length of time it must be like losing an arm. If nothing else you're just used to having another adult around even if you don't much like each other!
    I'd been with my ex since I was 16 and didn't know how to be a grown up on my own as I'd never been one. Suddenly finding myself on my own aged 28 was a weird experience and it took a long time to find my feet.
     
  5. saxo07

    saxo07 New commenter

    Wow seren, you could be describing my life at the moment! My husband and I have split (we were together at ages that are similar to the ones you describe) and it is odd suddenly being by myself. However I'm really enjoing my freedom and have ended up doing things and seeing people that I haven't seen /done for years! I guess you just have to see it as a new chapter in life. Time does make it easier.
     
  6. Thank you for your replies. Hoping in 6 months time I'll stumble across this post and think did i really feel like that ?
     
  7. Gosh impressed how you can be friends ! I think I miss him but then realise the person I miss no longer exists.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I'm still friends with my ex. Our son has a good relationship with both parents and we still do family things together. There is no chance of us getting back together - we both know that although we are good friends, it's not enough for a lifetime commitment together. I do think it is really important for the children to have a relationship with their parent, no matter how they treated you.
     
  9. I am leaving up to my children as they are old enough to make their own minds up. Bemused at thought of being friends with someone who hurt me so badly ?
     
  10. hazeymazey

    hazeymazey New commenter

    Just wishing you well OP. I am sincerely glad not to have been in this position when I divorced my ex husband for adultery. Must be very very hard on you.


     
  11. There is now another woman , not bad considering only been 9 weeks. Keep telling myself the person I miss now doesn.t exist as in my eyes he,s not the person I was in love with. But still feel **** ! Don't think bottle of my favourite wine has helped tonight !
     

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