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Flippin horrible parents evening!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by crazycatlady101, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. This all sounds so familiar!!! I am dreading parents evening!! I'm new to the school and look very young (it is only my 2nd year teaching too). I had one parent, the first time we met, express her initial concerns at having a new teacher and have since had the common "these books aren't hard enough" comments. Thankfully a member of my SMT supported me in talking with them and theyv only moaned once since. Had another one today though, another child in my class is reading at stage 6 but at home they are apparently challenging him with stage 9 books at home. poor thing! I'm really worried (especially as they are both boys) that they will be turned off reading and they will try and blame me!!! argh... reading + parents = minefield!
     
  2. Mjk, the group books are from a scheme that the school is following. The children read a certain text in a group reading session and then there is a linked home reading book. If school policy is following the scheme then the teacher is merely implementing policy. You come across as if the teacher is doing it on purpose justfor the sake of it!
     
  3. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    Just got back from parents' evening!! Survived by the skin of my teeth yet again. The trick is, I find, to go in right at the start...."I've been looking forward to telling you how great Octavia is, she tries so hard......" A few gushing sentences at the start, and they're putty in your hands.
    It was a really good one, all were positive, and I had a real (genuine) laugh with a lot of parents, who told me their child enjoyed my teaching (?????)
    Home now and happy, Mr Lardy had a shepherd's pie waiting, and a bottle of wine opened ready for sympathy, but all is lovely! Off onto Ebay for a while to buy stuff to celebrate. We get paid next week, and I will still be teaching when I'm 66, I'll have LOADS of money by then!
     
  4. Love parent's evening - can't get enough of it and I wish more parents would turn up. What a golden opprtunity to say it how it is. :)

     
  5. Thank you
    That actually fully explains it- i feel a bit guilty now. Its just i've been used to her old school which just gave any book in any order so long as it seemed the right stage and they only ever got her to read that book in school and only managed 3 pages.
    sorry all [​IMG]
     
  6. Samjam1

    Samjam1 New commenter

    It's the compehension thing - and just being able to say what happens in the story, or what the non fiction text is about, isn't it (I'm talking about reading - not parents' evening, sorry!). My son has been a very good "mechanical" reader since about year 3 I suppose - but he's now in Y6. The comprehension tests contain things like inference questions etc etc, which many children struggle with hugely! So - yes he can read any word you throw at him - I could have a good stab at reading a lot of Spanish words I don't know, what with the A level 15 years ago and all - but a question like "Why do you think the author chose X word?", or "How do you think the narrator was feeling at X point, and why?", will throw many a "good reader".
     
  7. dizzymai

    dizzymai New commenter

    So glad to find this thread tonight. Have been having an awful time at work recently (Ofsted looming, school probably going into SM) and, to top it all, an able child I had last yr (as NQT) is leaving because 'he is not being stretched enough'. Parents in last yr complaining to me about this- I implement all sorts of strategies (extension reading group, writing group, numeracy group), they tell me they are pleased with what I've done. Then, at end of KS1, when he doesn't get all Level 3s they are in, angry at my incompetence as they see it. I deal with this very difficult meeting well (the head told me, he was there) and dad is a governor (doesn't help!). Then, new term. I am their child's class teacher this yr (they must have been disappointed!) and I make a real point of 'extending' and stretching their poor child and he is coming on great, working really hard, improvements all round- all the stuff they were asking for and then BAM child tells me he is leaving tomorrow to go to another school. I get the mum in and basically ask her why on earth she hasn't been in to see me all term if she was unhappy- she complains that she is "Having to do verbal reasoning tests with him" ?? at home to extend him (isn't that Y6 grammar school tuition, he's Y3) and he doesn't understand his homework- why didn't you write on his homework then? Then she tells me how I "let him down the whole of last year".
    I feel furious. She has never seen me teach or even been in to help in the classroom. Never comes in for the open morning but her darling genius tells her, apparently, that the work isn't hard enough for him. As if any child would actually say that without the words being put in their mouths. It's really knocked my confidence. Parents really don't realise how hard we work.

    Thank you all for this thread, it's really cathartic to read!
     
  8. I had a very productive meeting with some parents. When I asked them if they had any concerns or goals for their daughter, they said that they were concerned about her height and they wanted her to grow taller!
     
  9. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    Dizzymai-If OFSTED is coming I'd be glad that you have got rid of this parent. It would be the last thing you need. Your Head supported you, so try not to take it to heart.
     
  10. ditwee

    ditwee New commenter

    I wish I had a magic wand and could give come parents the child they think they have/would like to have/should have had...our parents have been lovely on the whole, including those who we have had to give disappointing news to.
     
  11. Yep....had similar one recently..........what was I doing to help reduce their daughter's weight!(Well if you weren't stuffing her with fried chicken and chips AT sports day I might take their request a little more seriously.
    Most memorable parents' evening was when parent turned up at end of year 2 wanting to know why her child hadn't achieved 2b at least across the board.Um.....it could be for the following reasons
    1.You took all your chn out of school for a term and a half to home educate until the court forced you to return them.
    2.That you proudly announced that your home education largely consisted of teaching them hygiene(aren't parents meant to do that anyway?)
    3.During that year you bought each of your six chn an alsation puppy within a three bedroomed flat.
    4.That your child returned to school during SATS.
    5.Or it could just be that she turned up for the meeting stoned ,with a half-smoked joint tucked behind her ear.

    Memo to self......I must remember that not only am I resposible for the education and care of my students,but apparently also expected to be responsible for the failings of some parents too.
     
  12. As a Reception teacher, our first parents' evening of the year is too early for me to talk about the child other than to say how they're settling in. I tell the parents that I'm going to ask them three questions:
    What would you say was your child's greatest strength?
    What is the most important thing in the world to them (person/activity/possession etc.)?
    What would you say was their least favourable characteristic?
    I then give them a questionnaire about their child and their family as 'homework'. It provides me with some interesting insights into each child, accurate family details in some otherwise complicated or delicate family situations and leaves only a small window for them to ask really awkward questions of me. If they really have something longer to say or ask, I suggest that we speak again after school one afternoon soon.
    I don't know if this is useful in other year groups but I think may help other Early Years colleagues.
     
  13. This is at its worst while you are younger than the parents. Also if you do not have children of your own - they do, so they think that they know all there is to know about children and you can't possibly know anything! This is all wrong, but it has always been the case. You just have to tell yourself that having a child is probably the only thing they have ever achieved. And they may have done that accidentally!
    After a career break I went back to supply teaching and dreaded the old run-ins with parents. However, I find that I am now as old as some of the parents' parents! The way parents behave to me now is completely different.
    Try never to let them see that they are getting under your skin. Smile politely, Calmly stand your ground and you will find that in a year or two it gets easier. Parents will come to see your worth. There will always be some who are just plain difficult - you know then where their kids get it from. Enough said.

     

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