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Flippin horrible parents evening!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by crazycatlady101, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. I remember my parents used to buy me a book every week (Mr Men was one collection) and we would sit and read it together and then talk about the book. I was a very strong reader and as I got older the books at school were extremely boring and really quite easy (thin books)... at home i started reading novels (200+pages) with my mum. I decided to take one into class and ask if I could use that to get signed off in my reading book. I read a whole series and also leant them to my friends. My primary teacher was happy for me to do that as at least I was reading and more importantly enjoying what i was reading.

    I was 9/10 but maybe you could ask your daughters teacher if she could bring in her own books?
     
  2. dont talk
    verbally abused at parents meeting last week and swept under the carpet by boss who reckons they are lovely perople!
     
  3. I totally agree.We now live in a world where it's almost impossible to say anything negative at all without having to add ten positives.I agree there should always be efforts made to encourage children and find good things to say but sometimes they just need telling to be quiet and behave themselves!!! The parents can be just as bad as well.

    I'm not a teacher but I do deal with parents and children in the library where I work and some of the parents are worse than the kids.

    I am very happy to let the teachers at my daughter's school get on with the teaching and do their job without interference from me.I support my child with homework and reading for pleasure etc but don't have a clue, or any desire to know, every little thing that goes on at school and why teachers make the decisions they do.

    As long as my daughter is happy and behaves herself that's all I ask.She is achieving her targets(although I must admit I don't fully understand all this learning objective stuff) but too much pressure is put on teachers and kids with SATS etc
     
  4. When the child is with the parents I usually ask the child to give themselves a mark out of 10 in 3 categories - Work, Behaviour and Effort. As said in previous posts they almost always tend to be harsh on themselves, I reckon there's only been 3 or 4 kids in the last 10 years that have been unrealistically kind to themselves. These scores then lead the rest of the conversation:
    Work - leads to discussions about targets, current level etc.
    Behaviour - usually allows you to praise as they tend to be harsh - if they're not well behaved then they will have just admitted this to parents
    Effort- often gives you a target to set, "see if we can make that 9/10 next time", or again an opportunity to praise

    It's very hard for parents to be critical when the child has just told them that they're not working/behaving/trying themselves
     
  5. There is such a thing as a library you know?!


     
  6. However, as a parent this gives you a grave dilemma: do you tell your child to ignore what they are sent home with, as a waste of both of your time, or do you try to support the school and teacher by getting your child to complete the task she's been asked to do?
    My daughter was a very early reader but week after week sent home with books she was far beyond, no matter what I wrote in the reading record. I finally got the headmaster involved, and she was moved on somewhat, but this set a pattern for future interaction with the school and her teachers.
    So now I have given up; since year two I have let her ignore the books sent home and she can read what she likes, (which she does avidly), ignore the tables and spellings because its stuff she can do in her sleep. I see to it she gets some more challenging stuff at home.
    But this is hardly the way to get the child (or parent) to respect the teachers' authority, or expertise!
    BTW she was assessed as 4 in speaking, reading and numeracy, and 3a for writing at the end of KS1, so I don't think I am deluding myself over her abilities.


     
  7. I am also a partent and work in education and when your child is a fairly good pupil but struggles with the work and is ignored because of badly behaved children and his education is suffering and then to be told maybe he could see his private tutor once a week then parents do get cross. why should i pay for your failings.
    so this should work both ways

     
  8. Theres also such a thing as reading the rest of the posts- that will explain it.
     
  9. [​IMG] Well said!
    Although, as per usual, anything that can potentially involve some teacher or parent bashing attracts lots of random 'new' posters.
     
  10. I never really had any trouble with parents at parents evening except for 1 who said ' I just dont want her to be thick as pig ****, like me!' and this was infront of the child!!
    My main moan is that some, not all, parents believe 110% what their darling child tells them ie 'getting into trouble for nothing' and come in all guns blazing before finding out what has happened. On the rare occasion my son had detention or was really upset about something in school, I would politely phone up and ask if it was possible to speak to the teacher, I would then find out the school's point of view. This has nothing to do with being a teacher, it was how my mam taught me to behave.
    OR, parents who DEMAND action when their child is on the receiving end of something (totally justified) but then think the school are OVER REACTING when their child needs disciplining because of inappropriate behaviour towards others. One rule for their child and another for every other child in school!!
    It REALLY annoys me!!

     
  11. hurrah!!! Totally with you on this one.
     
  12. I do the same routine each parents evening...
    I lay out all the books in the corridor to look through when they wait,
    We discuss their level and how to move them forward. In both schools I have worked in we are not allowed to use these meetings to discuss behaviour bar 1-2 quick comments as they are supposed to be progress in learning meetings.
    So usually they are very productive and positive. I always welcome the child in and I find the parents having had the time to see the books in advance backs up anything I say as they have seen what work has been completed and when etc.

     
  13. I know exactly where you're coming from Pinkflipflop! I've been through the same...you've taken the words right out of my mouth.
    Getting parents to understand that reading doesn't mean simply decoding words, but also revolves around comprehension, hasn't been as easy as I thought it should be.
     
  14. "I never really had any trouble with parents at parents evening except
    for 1 who said ' I just dont want her to be thick as pig ****, like
    me!' and this was infront of the child!!"
    That's not a good thing to say, but I think you have an ally there. for a parent who thinks like that to come to Parents' evening at all shows that they really do care about their child.

    I wish everyone would stop getting up in arms about asking for harder books. It can be annoying as a teacher but you're talking to someone who has made it clear that she is putting a lot of effort into supporting her child's reading.
    I would suggest that when you talk to the teacher tell her that your child finds the books a bit easy and then explain how much reading your child does outside the class. That way she won't be on the defensive like some teachers on here have been. That's why we try and focus on the positives with kids, so they aren't in a defensive, oppositional stance. If there's absolutely nothing good to say about the kid then they should have been carted off to a referral unit :)
    I know people come on here to vent and teaching is frustrating, but I do sometimes wonder.
     
  15. You must work in our school pinkflipflop. In fact this became such a problem for all of us at KS1 that in our 'meet the teacher' meeting for the new parents at the end of July we simply ask all the parents why they read as adults. The answer is either for information or pleasure. if your child can do both, they can read. It doesn't matter about the difficulty of the book. Reading is not a race. This has stopped a lot of the 'harder' book issues for us at the moment. :eek:)
     
  16. Thank you for that :)
    Have just had parents evening and the book was explained- apparently everyone in her group (good reading/poor ish writing) is given the same book to take home each week- i assume its to help her with writing more than reading as they are reading at a harder level in class.
    The teacher said that they need to read other books outside library- from the tone i think this was expected to be known. however we have moved from england to wales and its a brand new school. I am ok with this approach but it would have been much easier if i was told this prior to now.
    ANyone elses school do it this way?
     
  17. Our parents evenings are tomorrow 4:30 - 7;00 and Thursday 5:00 - 7:30. Really looking forward to it as it gives me an opportunity to meet the parents and to tell them the truth about their little treasures. I allow 10 mins per interview and I stick to it. If they start to disagree with me I show them evidence and I also sit forward in my chair and I'm always assertive just to get the point over that I am the one in control!!!!!
    I have already had a run in with one parent who also happens to be a teacher and who thinks that her son is the brightest child in the class and that I am not giving him a fair chance - really!!
    Be firm and polite so that they do not run back to SMT and another trick is to write down their concerns so that it appears that you are taking them seriously!! I have to say that I have been teaching for far too long and as far as I am concerned parents view it as a night out!!
    Be yourself - you know the children in your class - they think they know them!

     
  18. Hi. Me again. Posted earlier. I repeat .... relax about it. There isn't an issue here. She loves reading, you support her reading, she is doing well at school. She will become a fluent, confident lover of books.
    Job done!
     
  19. Mmm- I find it easiest to be utterly blunt.
    Be honest and tell it how it is.
    If your previous colleagues have been the same, there'll be no surprises.
    Speak with honesty and certainty.
    I've been 20 years in the job- it's always worked for me!

     
  20. We've just had parents evening....really good evening, some with children, some without, until the last parents...very aggressive.
    1. Child only handed homework book in late once...why had I commented 4 times to hand his book in on Monday?
    2. Why did I keep asking him not to copy and print pages from the internet...he didn't he used his own words. Showed them the latest offering...6 pages printed out. I also had 1 page printed from the internet.... oh it was identical!!!.... but mum insisted it was his own work... and stabbed her finger on the last 2 lines.... these were his!!
    3. They were new parents, how were they expected to know when to hand homework in/ use reading diary........ newsletter, emails, parent meeting at beginning of term. They didn't know, hadn't had letters etc....eventually admitted she might have had something about a meeting!!
    4 Class assembly this week, were they coming to see their child? No, too busy!!
    Says it all...guilt tripping, so blame the teacher it must be her fault!! Glass of wine was needed (well 2 actually)
     

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