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Flippin horrible parents evening!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by crazycatlady101, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. I am a parent of 2 English graduates, as well as being a teacher.
    The response I would love to get away with with parents is - do what I did: read books to your child. They can then lay back and enjoy books which are much more difficult than those they can decode.
    And because the pressure is off them as they listen to you read, they will stop you and ask questions of you about meaning - thus their comprehension will increase. And nothing in this process will put them off books. After the initial stages of decoding are overcome, it will be the breadth of vocabulary within the child's grasp which will enable or prevent them to comprehend/enjoy books. Once early decoding is mastered, being read to by an adult and talking with an adult about books are what leads to the most successful readers. (I found my, then eight year old daughter, reading the Chronicles of Narnia independently; it was her bedtime book which I read to her, and she was so excited about it that she continued after I said it was time for lights out.)
     
  2. Oh I know, it's horrible when parents show they care enough about their kids to turn up and show an interest.

    I work in Special Needs...it's so much easier when the parents don't give a monkeys and can't be bothered.

    I know, lets make teaching really easy and do without the kids altogether!!!!

    Yes I am taking the mick. Have teachers really no idea?? Try working outside education for a few weeks and dealing with stroppy customers/clients on a daily basis.

    Grow Up !!!! Develop a more sensible attitude towards parent's evenings. Parents are the most important partners in helping children learn and if you can't deal with them and explain any difficulties then find something else to do for a living!
     
  3. Wish I had the guts!
     
  4. I use this method too and find it very useful. I also work in an all boys secondary. I have my first parents evening this Wednesday!
     
  5. augh - i hate my son's parents' evening - yes - they all tell me how lovely he is, and object only if he's planning on dropping their subject, but...
    it is a function of the type of parents at the school that no matter how well i plan my route round the room, i will end up on more than one occasion stuck behind parents begging the teacher to basically make their poor little son brighter - 'what can you/we/he do to get him all A*'s?' - well - nothing - can't you love him for the hard-working B-grader he is? - and i want to get home
    and fulhamrob - for what it matters, i worked in bt customer relations in central london during the last major engineers' strike when lines were going down like ninepins - and i would do that in preference to facing certain parents at parents' evenings any day - but feel free to keep your 'what do teachers know' illusions intact
     
  6. On the other hand, a few years ago I was talking to a parent about her child -I forget the name it was a long foreign one - and when I said that he had been working hard. She replied "Oh well, she's made a deep impression on you!" I could have died!
     
  7. I love it when students come to parents evening. I address the student directly and say something like "So why do you play in class, don't you think your education is worth anything?" or something that directly addresses the little squirts lack of application or disturbance. So the best thing is to cut to the quick and address the point you want to raise before the parent has a chance to take the initiative. Amazing what a transformation you can experience.
     
  8. In reply to those posts who dread children being at parent's evenings I always like to see the children turn up. It means that I can see the relationship between parent and child - often very revealing and it also means that there is no on going discussion about what I said and what the child said.
    However my most horrible experience with a parent was a number of years ago when at the end of the summer term - a parent of one of my lovely, hard working yr 6 girls spoke to me and the head and said that it had been a dreadful year and the child had been really unhappy all year - the parents were both teachers! I stated my surprise and wondered aloud why this had not been brought to my attention at either of the parents evenings. I also commented that if my own child was so unhappy at school i would make sure the teacher was aware of it.
     
  9. had the child mentioned it to the parents earlier?
    my idiot son told me 4 weeks before the end of term that 3 disruptive kids had made many of his classes misery all year. not that i bothered mentioning it - no point by then - especially as classes re-organising meant he would not be with the chief protagonist any more

     
  10. No the child had not given any indication of being unhappy - quite the opposite in fact. No one in the school - Head, other teachers or TAs working in the class had seen or heard anything to indicate she might be unhappy - she had a strong group of friends and was always very vocal if there were any tiffs or disputes at playtimes/ lunch times. I am confident that had she genuinely felt unhappy she would have left us in no doubt.
     
  11. One year with a particularly wriggly Y6 class I had them all write a paragraph of what they thought I should say to their parents about them at parents evening. I stressed that they had to be truthful! They were really funny!
    Give it a go & see what they really think of their learning & behaviour in class!

    I find that a lovely calm personnel voice (funeral director / counsellor voice) works excellently for all occasions when talking to irate parents & keep a clock on the table!
     
  12. I am doing something similar with mine tomorrow in prep for the parents eve after.

    What I want to know is why the parents that you WANT to attend so you can talk about their child with them is the one who won't come.
     
  13. As a teacher and a parent, I have become switched off from listening to anything said at parents evening. I find it increasingly frustrating that gentle comments in reading records I make are totally ignored. If these comments were at least responded to in a small way, this would help. I'm sure I'm regarded as one of the nightmare parents, but I only have the best interests of my child at heart and until I am treated with some respect and not an inconvenience, my attitude can only remain the same.
    Most parents are not totally unreasonable, they just want to at least communicate with teachers - and parents can help give a full picture in the absence of individual tuition which no school can offer. Since I became a parent in receipt of parents evenings, I try much harder as a teacher to do what I can to keep communications open and helpful to all of us.
    However, I do also understand that some parents are also sometimes uninformed and disrespectful. Even these, however, deserve our professionalism - after all, we do want to help the children in our care, don't we?


     
  14. It is my belief that many parents are unsupportive for two reasons, fistrly because of their own personal experiences at school which has you as a teacher ofside before you even begin with what you need to tell them...and secondly because they are sufferingwith control at home and are exhausted.
    I begin with I am so glad you have come in tonight, I am happy to let you know that Johnny has done this really well..... I would like to talk about how we can work together to help Johnny improve with this.... and go from there.
    I am experiencing difficulty getting Johnny to follow simple instructions how do you manage at home?? develp some empathy
    The they dont do the work its to easy, is answered with I can understand a students frustration if they feel the work is to easy however until its done I cant extend and develop the work so they feel more challenged...content isnt magically grabbed from the air its systematic Im sure you have simialr processes at work you have to follow...this work is part of the process.
     
  15. I send the student to sit outside if I have to say something like that. Once, mind you, I told the dad that his son had made a homophobic comment to me--explaining to ESL dad that homophobic meant that he was implying that I was a homosexual--and the dad told the principal I had called his son a homosexual! Sometimes you can't win.
     
  16. I got some words of wisdom from a colleague once, and now I'm passing them along to you. Try to have at least one parent teacher meeting where you avoid talking about the school stuff altogether. I know that sounds crazy, but ask the parent what the child is like at home. Ask them what things the parent sees the child interested in. Just try to get the parent talking about the child and what they are proud of with that child. The parent will feel closer to you, and in the future more inclined to support you. You might find something out about the child that you didn't know and that might help you relate to them better or see them in a fresh light.
     
  17. What is your initial reaction when you get a memo from your administrator asking you to come to their office for a meeting? You get tense, right? That is why the parents that we want to talk to the most don't come in. They don't want to hear anything bad about their kid, or hear about something they feel ill-equiped to help with.
     
  18. I haven't met a teacher who doesn't have a sensible attitude to parents evenings. I accept it is equally difficult in other jobs. I worked in other jobs for 10 from shops to mental health before training to be a teacher so I know.
    However what I think many teachers are finding is the swing to the right of the child to speak to us as they like, behave as they wish without fear of being told off because if we do Mum/Dad/Grandma will be down to sort us out etc. I do recall seeing a sign in my bank that said it's staff had the right to be treated with respect and that inappropriate language and behaviour from customers would not be tolerated and that the customer would be asked to leave. How I wish schools could say that to it's pupils and their parents !
     
  19. For 10 years
     
  20. next time it might be a good idea to read the posts following those ones and you would get a bigger picture.
    i do all these with my child but get no communication about how she is reading at school.
    my child speeds through her schools too easy book in one night- 2 at most just to check on the one word she may not know. can tell me all about the story the next day.She reads me a library book for the remainder of week and usually gets through at least 3 library books a week. I read to her every night out of one of Enid Blytons fab books- weve been through Amelia Jane, Faraway tree and now the wishing chair. ( cant wait to get to famous 5). A chapter every night.
    she is constantly exposed to books ( i have tons myself and she sees me reading) and we go to the library and she gets to choose.
    All i want is for her teacher to communicate how she is at school and since shes loves the ORT stories (that aren't in my library-ive tried and cost a fortune) that she has books home at her level not below it.
    Really shouldn't be too much to ask.
    ANd believe me shes got shelves of books
     

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