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First Christmas as a single mum .....

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, Nov 27, 2011.

  1. And already dreading it !! Trying hard to make familiar routines different but can't change it all .
    Can someone assure me it gets easier!
     
  2. it will get easier. Will your ex make the effort to see his children? Do you have close family you can spend xmas with? xxx
     
  3. annie2010

    annie2010 Occasional commenter

    Yes, it does get easier. Mine always saw their dad on the day and, once he settled in a new home , they had 2 Christmases- Christmas Day with me, the Boxing Day at their dads.
    They're older now, but still keep this routine, even though they're not all living at home.
    Sending positive thoughts to you-it's never an easy time for non' ideal' families.
     
  4. I'm going to be spending my first christmas without my son, he'll be at his dad's for the first time. (I can't complain as I've had him to myself for the last 16 years!) Enjoy the time you have to spend with your kids and make sure you have things planned for yourself if you have any time without them. x
     
  5. Look at it another way, you get them all to yourself :)

    Try starting a new Christmas tradition with them, something like Boxing Day ice skating if you can find a rink nearby that's open. (especially open air)
     
  6. I'm very lucky to have close family living near by so will spend the day with them ! Ex only sees youngest son (aged 13) and 2 older sons don't want to know . Ex and I don't communicate at all so no discussion on what any arrangements will be .
     
  7. I'm in the same boat, although there is something close to communication going on between my ex and me. We've put the relevent dates in the diaries and he's happy so that's a good start to the 1st Christmas without each other.
    I've got my mum and stepdad coming around for the day, as usual. There won't be anything different from the actual day other than the ex not drinking himself stupid, picking a fight and then sulking for the rest of the day... actually, it sounds like it'll be fine doesn't it!
     
  8. I think you are really admirable (hope this doesn't sound patronising) in that you have had to get on with things. Your ex, from what previous posts have suggested, has been a complete coward.
     
  9. Sounds like a substantial improvement to me!
     
  10. Believe me, I'm not worthy of admiration although I'll concede that I'm a work in progress[​IMG]. My ex has his troubles, it's very sad and now that I'm less angry, I'm feeling more compassionate towards him. Not enough to have him back though.
    Children are the greatest reason for getting up in the morning, imo.
    Jenny, you're completely right - I hadn't thought about it in that way until I typed it and now I might even feel the teeniest tingle of excitement about the crimble season.

     
  11. My children are my life and I know I have so much more than my ex , I could not imagine not spending a single day without them!
    I don't care how he feels but I don't want him near the house as it willl spoil my day !
    Added to the fact he's now totally stopped all maintenance so hassle of CSA , think he's got a nerve calling himself a Father !
     
  12. It certainly sounds like he's putting you through the mill, sorry about that[​IMG]
    I made a decision, a little while back, that I wasn't going to let it get to me so I've just become really rather chilled out about it. I haven't had a penny from my ex since he left but that's one of the things I refuse to get het up about. For now[​IMG]
     
  13. I'm a lot more chilled about it for sure as I have something worth more than all of the money in the world !!!

    Thank you for the comments
     
  14. madenglishgirl

    madenglishgirl New commenter

    I really feel for you... Last xmas was my first as a single mum and to make matters worse, I spent it without my daughter as she was spending it with her dad and him family 300 odd miles away. We split in the August and agreed that xmases would be shared equally with him having the first one. It was utterly horrible, made worse by the fact I also had gastric 'flu...but I am determined to make this xmas the best ever [​IMG]
     
  15. Gosh how awful your first Christmas like that ! Certainly hope , and am sure it will be, a great Christmas this year for you !
    x
     
  16. madenglishgirl

    madenglishgirl New commenter

    Thanks...unfortunately it's probably going to be the worst xmas ever this year, but I'll try and make it a good one for my girl.
     
  17. I cant comment on what it will be like but wanted to say that I will be spending my first Christmas as a single mum this year too. My ex walked out on me four weeks ago and is living in a caravan on a friend's front. Hope it goes ok for you. Will be thinking of you.

     
  18. Hugs to you, been on my own for 9 months but can remember what the first weeks were like.
    Hope you have family / friends around you?

     
  19. Thank you. I have lots of friends who have been fantastic. My mum and dad live away but I will be spending the holidays with them which is what we have done for the past seven years. The only difference will be that he wont be there.
     
  20. Honey Loop

    Honey Loop New commenter

    I agree with the poster (sorry, can't remember who it was) who said it might be the ideal time to start new traditions. Then it can be a positive event if you involve the children in deciding what the New Christmas was going to be like. Good luck and enjoy x

    Can I also just add, I looked at the title of this thread and read it as 'Father Christmas is a single mum' and was totally confused... [​IMG]
     

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