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Finding things to be positive about...

Discussion in 'Primary' started by lillipad, Jan 16, 2012.

  1. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    There is a child in my class who I feel I am constantly negative towards... and I hadn't really noticed it until this term started... I just feel like every time I speak to him it's to tell him off or moan about something.... What can I do to be more positive?!? Help!!
     
  2. marlin

    marlin Star commenter Forum guide

    Firstly, I'd make sure you smile at the child when they enter the room in the morning - this could help set the right tone.
    Secondly, find a positive to praise whenever you can.
    Thirdly, before you say something negative - pause - would you pick up another child in the class for the same thing?
    Well done for noticing though, at least you can take positive steps to do something about it now!
     
  3. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Well I have tried but he gives very little room for praise! And I would pick the other kids up on it, but you give him ways to improve or how to correct his work, he goes away and messes around for so long that he forgets and then makes a mess of it again! I just feel like i'm on at him all the time because he's always bending my ear about something!
     
  4. I think we all get this.
    Talk to him on a good day. Maybe engineer some group work in PSHCE and find a way to build some bridges. Find out something he is interested in, and talk to him about it. Like on a Monday morning: "Hi, Fred... did you take Rover out for a walk this weekend?" ... or "how was the match?." Find a bit of common ground and he will know you don't hate him.
    Things will improve when you can build even a tiny bit of a relationship with him.
    I have someone like this... and even though I am still on his case, nearly every day, he is still happy to chat away given the opportunity.
    He knows it is your job to tell him off. He is doing his bit by pushing the boundaries. That is his job.
     
  5. I have a child in my class who does little other than try to wind the rest of the class up. I've cracked it with him and we get on ok now but I found him almost impossible at the start of the year.
    I was put in an interesting situation today though - this boy goes out for maths with a special needs teacher (we're lucky enough to have 3 sets across two classes) and my TA goes to help with the group as well. She came back today and told me she thought the special needs teacher had been really hard on him as she lost her temper and raised her voice. I think my TA wanted me to agree that the special needs teacher was out of order but what I actually said was that this child is beyond irritating and I don't think it hurts once in a while for people to react naturally and get cross with him. My TA is great but likes to play 'good cop' and often makes loud, silly jokes immediately after I've told someone off in a 'I'm still your friend' kind of way.
    Anyway, my point is: are we helping these antisocial children by pandering to their poor behaviour and always stepping back so we don't show them how we really feel? This child has no specific behavioural issues but is an only child, with older parents who dote on him, see no wrong and generally treat him like royalty. They've told me he shouts to get his own way at home and behaves badly for them but they don't like to upset him. Surely a reality check is in order?
    I'm really not including children with severe behavioural issues and other problems in this rant, by the way, just the spoilt brats that I come into contact with at my middle class school!
     

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