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Finding it hard to be positive

Discussion in 'Personal' started by captain oats, Dec 15, 2011.

  1. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Apologies for the double post (also posted this on Primary) but I am feeling low and in need of opinion/advice.

    I know it's been a long term and everyone is feeling knackered but even before now I am finding it harder and harder to be positive when I'm teaching.

    This is my 5th year and after a few years of particularly challenging classes I feel myself becoming a very irritable person!
    I have thought this for a few weeks now but it's been this week that really brought it home. My class are tricky and there are a few challenging pupils, but there are also some very lovely ones! I was having a bad day on Tuesday, there had been a falling out at break time between some boys that I was trying to deal with when they had come back to the classroom. Lovely girl comes over to me to ask a question, but I completely snapped at her and told her to go away.

    I felt awful at the time and I could see she was upset. She understandably told her Mum when she got home who then got in contact with the head.

    Head called me in to her office yesterday to discuss this with me and I explained from my point of view, I apologied to the child and her mum for what had happened. Everything is fine now.

    But this incident got me thinking that I don't want to become this person who snaps at children and make them terrified and upset! (They are Year 5 btw) but I as I said earlier I am finding it hard to be a positive teacher who isn't getting annoyed all the time! I obviously want to be strict with the children, but how do I find a balance and become a nice person again??
     
  2. FollyFairy

    FollyFairy Occasional commenter

    do you think it is the school? is it time to look around for another post? You sound desperately unhappy - is it just school or have people notice you snapping at home? Do you feel stressed? Maybe you should talk to your doctor about how you feel, as there maybe an underlying reason. I do think the fact that you can recognise what you have become is a positive step to change. It has been a long term, try to have a great holiday - chill out, spend quality time with loved ones, get early nights (or late ones!) and speak to people about how you feel. Take care. xx
     
  3. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    I don't think I'm the same at home (at least I hope not!) I will often rant at my boyfriend about what has happened at school but this is the only thing bringing me down.
    I have been thinking it might be time for a change. If I am feeling the same after the break I might talk to the head about how fed up I am. Thanks for your reply x
     
  4. There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of teachers who feel like you Captain Oats.
    Being patient, under horrible conditions, is extremely wearing, to say the least.

    Hope you feel better after a rest. And a browse through other jobs will do no harm!
     
  5. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Thank you for saying that, it helps to know you're not alone.
     
  6. If you went to your head and told them you were finding it hard to sustain your current level of contribution to the school, a good manager would not want you off with stress and would consider solutions. If they are not a good manager you might consider a move.
     
  7. Do you know what captain....you are human,you are doing your best. I don't recall an adult ever apologising to me when I was a child. Child and parent have learned a valuable lesson.

    Cut yourself some slack.
     
  8. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Plenty of rest - don't let Christmas take you over.
    Try and get 168 hours of sleep in the first week of the holiday.
     
  9. In the years leading up to my early retirement I began to wonder what had happened to me. Little by little I began not to recognise myself. I had become a very unhappy monster. Where had the keen, enthusiatic young teacher gone? She had been replaced by a paranoid cynic.
    It is gradually wearing off and I am reclaiming myself. I have rediscovered my passion for my subject that had been knocked out of me by mardy, sulky teenagers and hostile SMT.
    It is such a shame that I had to retire to become myself again.
    OP I do hope that Christmas does the trick for you, if not look for somewhere else to work.
     
  10. Larsy

    Larsy New commenter

    Poor thing, I have every sympathy. If you see my current post under Bah humbug you'll see I'm in the same boat. I have tried to be a nice person & to do the right thing & I just feel I get taken advantage of & bad things happen anyway. I'm really wallowing in it, I suppose & there are people who are much worse off than me but it doesn't help right now. As you say, its been a long hard term & everyone is tired & desperately needs their holidays. Feel better soon, Captain, I love your user pic as I collect Breyer horses....
     
  11. captain oats

    captain oats New commenter

    Thank you to everyone who has replied, it has really helped reading your posts.
    I am home now and am planning on doing very little over the next 2 weeks. Let's see what January brings...
     
  12. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Teaching is tough at the moment for all. However I think year 5/6 of teaching in a single school is a normal and natural point to need the stimulus a new school would give you. I would look for a change of scenery and people to rediscover your enthusiasm. Well done for being so self aware, many are not x
     

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