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Feeling Very low

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by rambhai, Jan 11, 2011.

  1. rambhai

    rambhai New commenter

    Hi
    Should I trust my partner who left me when I was ill for holiday. After his holiday he refuse to support me in any way even though I was working full time. He is unemployed and resents me having financialy stability. As a result he looks after himself, I struggle with housework etc after work, all he does is goes to gym. socialises with his friends. He has work sometimes which he refuses to contribute anything. I am so tired and confused.
     
  2. Oh dear. The thing that's confusing you is how to deal with it. You know that most people would tell you to just get rid of him.
    Your confusion and distress is about not wanting to seriously consider that he really is as selfish and inconsiderate as he appears to be. And if he is, how you must feel about your own judgement in getting involved in the first place and 'letting' this behaviour establish and continue.
    You are not responsible for his bad behaviour. (And you don't have to come up with amateur psychological reasons to discover some underlying reason for him to behave that way.)
    If the two of you really do love each other and you do really want to have a future together ..... then this has to get sorted.
     
  3. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    Hmmmmm

    Let me get back to you on that one ....
     
  4. The thing is I always say if your friend was saying all this to you what would you tell them to do? Every relationship is unique and must not be compared to others. As my wise mother always says you only let a person treat you how you let them. If you don't say that you feel low and that you dont trust him then he will just accept that you accept his behaviour and will carry on. If your not happy then explain to him why if he really loves you he will change or be honest that he doesn't want to - if he doesnt you have to question what is more important your happiness or staying with him. Good luck and I hope you find the answer soon.
     
  5. Am wondering in what way this person could be described as a "partner". He contributes nothing, not even the care I'd give to someone else's sick dog.
    Do yourself a favour and get rid of him. Get some self-respect back.
     
  6. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Agree with Lily: grow a backbone and get rid. I can't see why anyone in this day and age puts up with **** like that.
     
  7. rambhai

    rambhai New commenter

    Thank you all. Its not me that should feel bad, confrms my feelings that he is selfish and only cares about himself - looks and health.
     
  8. Get rid of him, spend 5 minutes wondering why you didn't do it sooner, then get on with your life.
     
  9. You deserve better and I suspect you already know that.
     

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