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feeling old!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by anon4046, Mar 17, 2012.

  1. Well, my daughter's only two but I know the years will speed past - I do already worry about getting to the stage you're at, and feeling really sad.

    Maybe you should just give yourself a big pat on the back and congratulate yourself on bringing up your child well, and being proud that he's about to embark on his university career? I dunno. Sympathies anyway.
     
  2. Oh, and in a few years he'll probably move back in with you!! Does that make you feel better? :-D

    heh heh
     
  3. I have a few years to go yet, but son becomes a teenager soon.

    He has become so independent - which on the one hand I love - and he is turning into a great DIY person to have around and he is useful for carrying heavy shopping bags.

    But where did my little boy go?

    And how come my nearly 10 year old daughter suddenly seems to have a much wider range of vocabulary than I do? (and I am a blinking linguist!)
     
  4. My eldest son and girlfriend moved out recently and much as I love them both it was lovely to reclaim the room they had been using (we had downsized drastically when we bought this house as he was going into the RAF but it didn't happen and then his girlfriend moved in) and I am buying much less "coke" orange juice and loo paper!!

    My youngest will be off to Uni in September hopefully so we'll have a very empty nest! I just hope Mr Dance and I can remember to have a conversation :)
     
  5. Ophelia 9

    Ophelia 9 New commenter

    My daughter will be 25 tomorrow - I can't believe it either! She left for university at 18, has since worked as a graduate trainee, done a Masters degree and is now in her second job. I am proud that she has grown into an independent young woman and I think this is proof I did my job well.
    I would be devastated if either of my children never got in touch with me but I always expected that when they left home at 18 they wouldn't come back to live here again (of course, there is still no guarantee that this won't happen!) so I didn't really feel distressed at their leaving. That said, I do still feel a real gut-wrenching sense of loss on the day they leave when they have been 'home' for a visit - doubt if that will ever go away. I'm sure you will feel sadness mixed with pride when he goes - and will keep up a brave face on the day, sparklepig!
     
  6. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    My mother was thinking about something that was going to happen in 5 years time when she realised she will, by then, have a 50 year old daughter - she was horrified and couldn't get her head round the thought of having a 50year old child!
     
  7. If it is any consolation - I left home for uni at 18, never went back (I would have been welcome) and even left the country.

    It is just as gut-wrenching still to leave home after a visit as it is for those I am leaving - even though I have had my own home for decades (am now in my mid-fourties!)
     
  8. gruoch

    gruoch Occasional commenter

    Whenever I'm feeling old, I remind myself that my Dad has two children who are OAPs and a third heading that way in a couple of years.
     
  9. Our daughter will be 31, this year. She went off to University, then went abroad and has made a very independent life for herself. We exchange the occasional e-mail and Skype, but that is it, really. It was only during one of these conversations that she told us that she had got married. She always was a bit distant from us. Ah, well!
     
  10. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Oh how sad - is she near enough for you to visit?
     
  11. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Oh Jenny! I am heartbroken for you.
    My children are 11, 9 and 6 - and I'm mourning the baby years. Maybe the teenage years serve to help you get over the pain of them leaving? At the moment it is just too horrible to contemplate!
     
  12. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    I cant get rid of mine.the boy has come back to live here!..and i thought we might get the house to ourselves!
    Strangly its as if he never left and Mrs Oldy stil looks after him as if he was the young man who used to live here before he got married!
     
  13. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    Mine have never really left - financial reasons. One had three years at uni but the other has never left home. They are 24 and 27. I keep thinking of downsizing but then I have to postpone it. Sometimes I think it would be nice not to have a houseful and at others I think I'll be lonely. There's just me you see - no Mr Kittylion - so I would be on my own, except for the cat, but it would be peaceful - and a lot tidier.
     
  14. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    You're feeling nostalgic about them but it's not true that you're mourning them - that's a morbid overstatement and it's a bit sad too that you might enjoy them less in the moment [ie now, as they currently are] because you're 'mourning' the loss of their smaller selves.
     
  15. Yes, this is true. We are also mourning being needed, are we not? And yet the proof of our good job is when they do not need us.

    I am sometimes a bit torn - I LOVE seeing my children becoming more independent, but it does change your role as a Mum. It needs some getting used to.
     
  16. My son left to go to university last September. Of course I miss him but I'm glad he has moved on with his life and is doing something he really enjoys. He's training to be a paramedic. When he does come home it is lovely to see how he's growing up into such a decent young man. The grotty teenager is rapidly vanishing. He phones often so we don't miss him too much and we have the times between his visits to enjoy our lives as a couple alone again.
     
  17. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    My baby will be 40 next year!!! Unbelievable. Mind you she has been a 'grown-up' since she was about 16!
     
  18. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    it doesnt sound too bad-just the next phase of life!!
     
  19. You'll be a Mother again before you know it. A Grandmother and that is something else. Enjoy the rest while you're waiting. It's a gift.

     
  20. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    InkyP would you like me to get you a saucer of milk? Pardon me if I see the continuing growth and development of my children in bittersweet terms; the joy of seeing them take their steps into the world allied with he pain of loss, and he continuing redefinition of roles. I am allowed to acknowledge my feelings about mortality, and may choose whichever powerful verbs I please. Grump, grump.
     

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