This thread is stirring up some really hard emotions for me. I had a permanent post which I worked hard at for years but at the same time as I realised I had problems with my fertility everything started to go wrong at school. I ended up being forced out and pretty much on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So years more of trying for a baby and failing, years of supply and now temporary contracts. I have to spend several grand to have a chance of having a baby. I've worked hard and paid taxes but either I'll end up childless and miserable or I'll have a baby but with no maternity rights to speak of. I've been at the same school a while now - long enough to get good maternity pay as it happens but obviously no right to my job back. I do feel really angry that I've been cheated out of a chance to have a family and then I feel guilty for feeling jealous of everyone who gets pregnant and then gets to go on maternity leave. My head seems to think a lot of me and has been supportive of my fertility treatment plans but I get so worried about the future. I'm worried I won't get my contract extended if I get pregnant and I can't face the thought of supply again. Obviously we'll be broke because IVF is so expensive so I'll have to go back to work. In my permanent contract days I was going to have a year off and go back part time - stupidly, I still grieve for the life I might have had. Even though I'd be really happy if I had a baby I probably won't get long with them. My intention is to ask my head if there is any way I can return to school and obviously I'll have to agree to go back whenever she wants me if she wants me back. No idea what I'll do if she doesn't. If no baby, no adoption now either because they insist you have a year off work. Sorry for long ranting post. Just feeling so low.