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Feeling guilty

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by grasshopper2000, Nov 9, 2017.

  1. grasshopper2000

    grasshopper2000 Occasional commenter

    When I was at school I was told I was dyslexic, but I was never assessed. I have loads of typical dyslexic difficulties, have done online screeners which show I have it. I have done lots of research and training in this area and so I am 100% certain that I am dyslexic. However, I have never been assessed and I can't afdord to be. For the first time I filled out the school paperwork at a new job saying I'm dyslexic and a teacher commented that I spelt something imcorrectly and I told him I am dyslexic. I know feel guilty and feel like I'm not being honest as I have no formal assessment.

    Do you think I should feel guilty or ia it ok to say I'm dyslexic? It's a bit long winded to explain all of what I have just said rather than just saying I am dyslexic.
  2. hs9981

    hs9981 Established commenter

    Could they not fire you for not being honest on your application form?
  3. fudgeface

    fudgeface Occasional commenter

    I think you could make the point that when you filled out the form, you weren't sure, could the senior at your school give you a diagnosis?
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    You sound as if you're ashamed!

    Just be honest. You reckon you have dyslexia and you have covered it up for years and tried everything possible to disguise it but you think it's about time you admit it. It was hard for you to come to terms with this and you hope someone has some good ideas for you.
  5. Jessaki

    Jessaki Occasional commenter

    I don't think they could fire you for not being honest. This is not very helpful. If it were a lie that seriously impacts your ability to due your job, then maybe, but schools are supposed to be able to support students and teachers with dyslexia. If they are not able to or are not prepared to, then it is not a good school to be in.

    There are countless adults out there with undiagnosed dyslexia - there was a time when it wasn't recognised as anything at all. Some don't even know they have it. If anybody asks, it's easy to explain. You tell them honestly that you have not had a formal diagnosis, but you have always had difficulties and you have conducted your own research and are sure this is the case. Tell them you would be happy for someone in school to assess you.

    Do not feel guilty or ashamed. More people have it than you realise. I was doing my Master's when I was diagnosed. I just always thought I wasn't as intelligent as my friends and had this sense of feeling I was not supposed to be where I was and soon everybody would find out. It was my tutor who first mentioned it to me and I was confused. It wasn't until the end of the course, whilst writing my dissertation, that I sought help. I just couldn't understand why everything was always so jumbled up. I had the diagnosis and the Ed Psych. explained exactly what my difficulties were. I received some support from the Uni and did my own research on how to deal with my problems and it has made life much much easier. I rarely tell people I have it, because I can manage it myself and don't need any special concessions. But some do and there is no shame in that. Speak to your school for help. Stop feeling guilty. :)
    sabrinakat, pepper5 and galerider123 like this.
  6. frustum

    frustum Lead commenter

    I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you are "dyslexic but not formally diagnosed". There would be some point in getting a formal diagnosis if it would open the doors to any formal support. It may be, though, that it is enough for colleagues to be aware and sympathetic.
    phlogiston and grumpydogwoman like this.
  7. mothorchid

    mothorchid Lead commenter

    Like you, I have dyslexia, though it has never been formally diagnosed. It's a handy thing to keep in my back pocket and tell the students if they complain that they have special needs and can't do the work. "I'm dyslexic, and I did OK." I have never felt guilty about it. What's to feel guilty about? Sometimes I have been slightly embarrassed by a spelling error, which I forgot to check, but otherwise it's always been a part of who I am and not an especially important one.
  8. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I do wish there were more people like @mothorchid

    Then we might just all accept it. "Oh, that's not the spelling you need. It's this...." Like driving at 35mph in a 30 limit. Your passenger points it out and you change it. No big deal. Or, "You've got your skirt tucked in your knickers." Oops.

    Not especially important and the work of a moment to sort out.
    Sundaytrekker and mothorchid like this.
  9. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    There are many small problems in education. If only they were all sorted that easily (and with that level of humanity).
    Save the high energy responses to the big problems, (like when someone pinches my coffee cup).
    mothorchid and grumpydogwoman like this.
  10. grasshopper2000

    grasshopper2000 Occasional commenter

    Thank you for your replies. I have read my question back again and realised I worded it badly. I don't feel guilty about being dyslexic. I feel guilty telling them I am dyslexic when I actually have no proof as I have never been properly assessed.
  11. mothorchid

    mothorchid Lead commenter

    Not worth worrying. I can't imagine anyone demanding proof... Have a good weekend.
  12. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I shall diagnose you. You can take it from me.

    Can you answer yes to the following questions.

    1. Would you say you are of average or above average intelligence?
    2. Would you say your maths/arithmetic is average or above average?
    3. Do you find or have you ever found reading tiring and difficult?
    4. Do you find it difficult to remember how to spell words and are your spellings rather inconsistent? Sometimes right, sometimes wrong, no particular rhyme or reason?

    You're dyslexic.

    Don't worry about it.
    sabrinakat likes this.
  13. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I am very dyslexic but it doesn't stop me being a good teacher.

    But it does stop me remembering where I left my keys on occasions
    mothorchid likes this.
  14. Tinycat1234

    Tinycat1234 Established commenter

    Unlikely they have a senior who is able to do this. It’s a 2 year PGDip and you have to be registered to do assessments. I’ve only ever met one teacher who was able to assess and she worked between a few schools!
    However under the 2010 Equality Act your employer has to make reasonable adjustments. Therefore it’s something you could raise and ask for an assessment that way. They will probably buy in an assessor for about £450. It’s also worth contacting the BDA for advice as some charities with provide an assessment.
  15. grasshopper2000

    grasshopper2000 Occasional commenter

    Thanks grumpydogwomen. I'm assuming you are not being serious. I can easily answer yes to all your questions, but unfortunately it's not that easy. There is a lot more to dyslecia then just that and I tick a huge, huge number more boxes then just those!

    As Tinycat said, it's very unlikely any school would have someone qualified to assess who works there. I can't afford to pay £350 to confirm something I already know just so I have proof which I don't think anyone would ever ask for, but my proplem is that I just feel like I'm not being totally honest saying I'm dyslexic when all I have of proof is a screener rather than a propper assessment.
  16. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Well. Half-serious.

    I'm not in a position to provide a certificate but, IME, there's bug ger all else to it than those 4 points.

    If you have additional specific learning difficulties then that could point to something like Meares-Irlen. But I see no problem in telling an employer you have dyslexia. Not unless you are asking the employer for a lot of additional support. I think very few dyslexics have ever had an official "diagnosis". If the employer insists upon such a thing then let them do something about it. I just don't share your sense of guilt r your anxiety. There's nothing misleading about, "I am dyslexic but I have never seen any kind of expert about it. I just cope."

  17. grasshopper2000

    grasshopper2000 Occasional commenter

    Yes I know I also have Irlens - I don't see text on straight lines, it wiggles up and down especially when I'm tired.

    I agree that thos 4 points sort of summarise dyslexia. However, it also affects me in more ways then those. I used be an accountant so very good at maths (and therefore above average intelligence as per one of yoyr 4 points), but I can't add in my head due to poor working memory. I also can't learn my tables no matter how many times I try. I couldn't tell the time until I was an adult and still have to do 24hr time on my fingers! My memory is shocking. I have to reread text several times and practise reading a text before reading it to class to prevent too many errors. Spelling is always tricky.
  18. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    You're ever so down on yourself!

    You can't do x/y/z but you've also failed to get an official diagnosis. Oh, dear. :(

    Hey. You were an accountant. You are an active contributor to this society. You have a conscience. You are keen to do the right thing. You prepare thoroughly. You are an asset. You respect your students by ensuring your reading aloud is effective.

    • Memory. Dictate into an app on your 'phone.
    • Do a bit more sudoku or look for memory training games.
    • Spelling. Get someone to check it. Encourage the students to correct your spellings.
    • Tell them about your dyslexia. Encourage them. Be a role model. Some of them will share your struggles.
    • You struggle but you're winning. That seems pretty inspirational to me.
  19. grasshopper2000

    grasshopper2000 Occasional commenter

    Thanks for your reply Grumpydog. I am not being down on myself, I'm just saying the dyslexic traits I have. Thanks for your ideas.

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