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Feeling frustrated by life.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by crazykitty, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. *Warning - self absorbed rant follows*
    I am feeling highly frustrated by the way my life is going at the moment. I fully concede that I have nothing substantial to complain about, I am not ill, I have two healthy and supportive parents, I do a job I enjoy and I am married to a man I love and who loves me. However, recently I have started to feel frustrated by the way my life is going. If I had been asked to predict how my life would be by my mid thirties I would have predicted something very different to my current life! Part of this is through my own choice (such as not going for promotion because I decided I wanted to remain a classroom teacher rather than taking a leadership role with less teaching) and part of this is not my own choice, but beyond my control (such as having fertility difficulties which means we have no children).
    Increasingly though I feel as though my life is on hold. I have been married for four years and nothing has changed in that time. My husband and I talk of future plans, but in a vague unsubstantial way. I look at houses we could move to, but without any intention of doing so. I want something to change, but seem incapable of making this happen. My frustrations bubbled over today when I burst into tears because I car I had been thinking of buying had been sold - how ridiculous! It just seemed symptomatic of this state of paralysis my life is suffering. Typing this now I can feel myself getting tearful again. OVER A CAR!
    I have just enough self awareness to know I am being ridiculous, but still feel so frustrated. Does anyone have any suggestions for seizing control of one's life back?
     
  2. Mrs_Frog

    Mrs_Frog New commenter

    Indeed, that would be lovely, especially somewhere in the sun.
    Have you got any hobbies, or is there something that you fancy taking up? I can recommend exercise as a good way of clearing out the cobwebs...
    With regards to children, how about adoption? I know it is not everyone's choice but perhaps worth considering?
    It is all too easy to feel that you are falling in a rut, then land there, then stay there for a number of years. Suddenly, nearly a decade has gone by and then what? If you want things to change, you need to work out what it is, and then change it. I know it sounds harsh, but as you said, you have a reasonable life at the moment, but if you have niggles about something, then there is likely to be something that needs changing.
    Its scary changing things, there is no denying that. I recently relocated (actually back to the area I grew up in) but I moved house, jobs, brought a new man with me and had a complete change of lifestyle. Once I had made the decision to do it, it took a while (3 application cycles of work over 2 academic years) but when it happened, it happened fast (Job in June, allowed to leave out of contract, moved in August, started new job Sept.) However, I changed what I needed to.
    Good luck
    B x

     
  3. acertainsomething

    acertainsomething Occasional commenter

    My ex also about mid 30's seemed to have the same feelings. She went off to see if the sun shone more brightly in someone elses back garden. It didn't. Rather than concentrate on what you don't have, concentrate on what you do have. A larger house is just more room to be unhappy in.
     
  4. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter


    Why no intention of moving? There must be a reason for looking at them in the first instance.
     
  5. bnm

    bnm

    I get itchy feet every now and then. Before I married I moved job and house frequently, and enjoy the challenge that a change brings.
    However, when I became a head I decided I owed it to the school that employed me to stay for a decent length of time, and as we have a mortgage I owe it to my husband to be gainfully employed to help pay the mortage and not go zipping off overseas for a couple of years as I am tempted to.
    Fortunately my current job has plenty of challenge and mr bnm and I have the resources to go away on little breaks fairly frequently.
    Do you feel like you need a new challenge? How does your husband feel about things?
     
  6. bnm

    bnm

    Silly me. Just looked at the date of the first posting. Why do I only ever do that after I've posted?
     
  7. bnm

    bnm

    Silly me again. Misread date of joining as date of posting. I need to have a lie down.
     
  8. bnm

    bnm

    Dear me. Looks like that posted twice.
    I'll stop posting to myself in a minute.
     
  9. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    "Why do I only ever do that after I've posted?" (I have the same fault, hardly ever look at the posting date!
    However in this cae, don't think you did. According to my reading this was posted today 11 / 01 / 12 at15.39.
     
  10. bnm

    bnm

    I know, Lara. I'm a nit.
     
  11. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Sounds like it's time for the OP to book some surfing lessons ;-)

    More seriously, and knowing how much time children can take up in one's thirties, if there's a gap in your life beyond just doing your job, how do you propose to fill it? Do you believe in life after school?
     
  12. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Mid-thirties? There's so much you can do in your life at this age. If you've changed your mind about a career it's not too late. As for the family thing - that's a tough one.
    Mind you I think it's January - what a lousy month, lots of people feel dejected at this time. It does sound a bit trivial to recommend a holiday but I think it's a good idea and perhaps while you're away you can try to clarify what you want and talk about it to your husband. You know there will be other cars. I think moving house is and creating a home is a lovely thing to do and could help you turn the corner.
    Have you thought of going for hypnotherapy - it might unblock your energy and help you move on. It's not very expensive.
     
  13. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    wait til you get to 65 and decide your frustrated by life at times.I find that unless im constantly busy i soon start to want to do things i can't,shoudn't and wouldn't(maybe) do.
    Oh to be rich and be able to just do as you please at times !
     
  14. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    oh crazykitty now look what you've done - set him off again!! And he'd been quite cheery recently [​IMG]
     
  15. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Do I dare insert the term "mid-life crisis"?
    Been there done that, lots of change, and a motorbike.
     
  16. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    ifi got a motor scooter at my age is that old life crisis jacob? lol

     
  17. Dare I say the 'D' word? Have you considered that you are depressed? There doesn't have to be a reason for it, you know.
     
  18. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    depressed.naah...bored sometimes and brain isnt doing enough work
    Anyway im going to come and visit tessers and annoy all them lol

     
  19. I meant the OP. But ok, glad that you are not depressed oldsomeman.
     
  20. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    only when im not occupied.........if i had loads of cash arriving id be very happy lol
    what depresses me is seeing things that need to be done.and dnot being able to do sod all abot it lol

     

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