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Feeling fed up and upset

Discussion in 'Primary' started by thedancingqueen, May 23, 2011.

  1. I apologise in advance for moaning. I'm on my final teaching placement and I work so so hard to take comments from the teacher on board and plan really good lessons. I spend my evenings working, I really try to make lessons productive and fun and the class seem to enjoy my lessons. Today, I had my only observed lesson from my coordinator and it was a disaster. I spent so long planning it today, the kids just appeared confused and were reluctant to answer my questions when normally they are very keen, we get a lot done and I am normally fine at keeping to time. I won't say exactly what it was about but it was a ratio lesson. I thought they would have done ratio before (yr 5 group) but just in case, I planned really simple questions. I explained it on the board and modelled but it took them a while to grasp it (middle set). I kept to ten minutes for the input but the main was too long because they were struggling to scale quantities up or down on their worksheet and I thought if they are struggling to do this then they're really going to struggle with their independent task. For the independent task we made something messy, involving measuring skills. I want to be a bit vague in case people from school go on here, even though it's probably obvious to them what I'm talking about. Due to kids' lack of understanding and they normally work well in my class, I was really criticised for my lesson and told I was disorganised as well as a lot of other things. I regret taking a risk and trying to do something practical. I regret doing ratios and wasn't aware that they hadn't done them already (I was going to ask the teacher but they were off ill). I should've just used worksheets and it would've been easier to include a proper plenary.

    I walked home in tears and it's really made me feel worthless. I know as a teacher, you've got to be able to take and act on criticism but it was coming from both my coordinator and my class teacher and I feel really fed up. I feel like whatever I do, something goes wrong. People on here may tell me to grow up or stop overreacting but it bothers me that my lesson didn't go well. It really does and I feel incompetent. How do I know if teaching is for me? I have enjoyed this placement but lately, I've been putting myself under so much pressure and working harder and harder to try to improve as much as possible, that I'm not enjoying it as much. I'm just sick of being criticised to be honest and people seem to tell me one thing to my face at school and then say another behind my back. My class teacher also thinks I'm disorganised. I can't understand it though. I come to school on time and with everything prepared. Any advice please? I'm only observed once a year by my coordinator and I got nice comments in my first year of university but for the last two years, she's been very critical.
     
  2. I apologise in advance for moaning. I'm on my final teaching placement and I work so so hard to take comments from the teacher on board and plan really good lessons. I spend my evenings working, I really try to make lessons productive and fun and the class seem to enjoy my lessons. Today, I had my only observed lesson from my coordinator and it was a disaster. I spent so long planning it today, the kids just appeared confused and were reluctant to answer my questions when normally they are very keen, we get a lot done and I am normally fine at keeping to time. I won't say exactly what it was about but it was a ratio lesson. I thought they would have done ratio before (yr 5 group) but just in case, I planned really simple questions. I explained it on the board and modelled but it took them a while to grasp it (middle set). I kept to ten minutes for the input but the main was too long because they were struggling to scale quantities up or down on their worksheet and I thought if they are struggling to do this then they're really going to struggle with their independent task. For the independent task we made something messy, involving measuring skills. I want to be a bit vague in case people from school go on here, even though it's probably obvious to them what I'm talking about. Due to kids' lack of understanding and they normally work well in my class, I was really criticised for my lesson and told I was disorganised as well as a lot of other things. I regret taking a risk and trying to do something practical. I regret doing ratios and wasn't aware that they hadn't done them already (I was going to ask the teacher but they were off ill). I should've just used worksheets and it would've been easier to include a proper plenary.

    I walked home in tears and it's really made me feel worthless. I know as a teacher, you've got to be able to take and act on criticism but it was coming from both my coordinator and my class teacher and I feel really fed up. I feel like whatever I do, something goes wrong. People on here may tell me to grow up or stop overreacting but it bothers me that my lesson didn't go well. It really does and I feel incompetent. How do I know if teaching is for me? I have enjoyed this placement but lately, I've been putting myself under so much pressure and working harder and harder to try to improve as much as possible, that I'm not enjoying it as much. I'm just sick of being criticised to be honest and people seem to tell me one thing to my face at school and then say another behind my back. My class teacher also thinks I'm disorganised. I can't understand it though. I come to school on time and with everything prepared. Any advice please? I'm only observed once a year by my coordinator and I got nice comments in my first year of university but for the last two years, she's been very critical.
     
  3. Welcome to the world of teaching - where nothing you do is EVER good enough!
     
  4. I second that!
     
  5. Sorry that wasn't helpful. Just do the best you can for the kids in your care on your placement. The PGCE is just about jumping through hoops. Just do the time and don't burn yourself out.

     
  6. True. I've just started crying again. I need to get a grip and move on from it. It seems ridiculous to forget about being a teacher just because of one lesson observation. I need to remind myself when I'm in school tomorrow of why I want to teach. I have really enjoyed placement so far but I'm someone who really doesn't take criticism well.
     
  7. I think if you want to start a career in teaching you need to develop a thicker skin and not keep worrying yourself so much.

     
  8. I agree. I take things to heart far too easily, but because I want to do a good job and don't want to let myself down. I'm working on developing a thicker skin and not getting myself so stressed and worried about things.
     
  9. I know this is not easy - but try and put it behind you. Not everything we do as teachers works out as planned, but we learn from our mistakes and move on. Teachers have to be resilient and model this to their pupils, Take a deep breath, and start thinking about tomorrow's lessons. You can't change the past!
    I would rather have a student who cares enough to ask for advice than one who doesn't give a ****!
    Good luck.
     
  10. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    If they say you are disorganised, but you don't know what you are doing wrong, then ask for some advice on how to improve. If you get upset you can always ring teacher support line. Talking to someone who understands can help. They also offer life coaching, which might help you take criticism in a more productive way.
     
  11. ditwee

    ditwee New commenter

    Something similar happened to me last week when it really mattered. This will happen all the time; your best lessons will be spur of the moment unplanned bits of pure rapid learning because everything comes together spontaneously (or so it seems) and many of your worst will be meticulously planned observed lessons when the kids just won't get it. As long as you are getting 'satisfactory' or above you are doing fine. Your tutors etc Have to find things for you to improve - they are never going to pat you on the back and say 'Well done that was just great'. Congratulate yourself for being bold enough to tackle a subject when you didn't know how they'd respond. It is good practise for the future (it will happen many times again).
     
  12. The Red Heron

    The Red Heron New commenter

    Having been observed 7 times this year after 10 years of teaching, and got borderline satisfactory, satisfactory, satisfactory with lots of good and good you need to know the hoop jumping never stops. LAs HT SMTs still believe that ticking boxes in a contrived observation is the best way to judge you as a teacher. The profession is pathetic, simple as-but you have a choice, stay with it and enjoy the holidays or leave. I put up with the sh.it and console myself with quarter of the year off and nearly 36k a year
     
  13. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    The problem is you feel you have let yourself down. We al have those times, andthe feeling is made more painful if we are being observed.
    All teachers have these moments adn you might have many more...the difference beiing that once youare qualified no one else will see the gaffs, the problems or worries.....unless your being observed.
    The main thing is to sit down and try to objectively look at the lesson, see the mistakes and learn from them.....thats the precess all teachers constantl have to undertake.
    As to thje supervisior yo have to make representations, ask for another observation and ask for another opinion if you can.Then if yo know they are coming plann to do the formula....10-40-10
    If necessary break in the lesson, remind kids of their targets and their success criterea , ask for examples,praise and comment.....in other words seem to be actively in control of the lesson and be ready to adapt if you see it goes wrong...plan B..if you have one.
    I have taught many lessons where it fell apart..sometimes you want to cry...but in the end you get up and sort it out...stopping the lesson if necessary and doing someting different. In future never be frightened of doing this,.at least you have taken action and sort to regain control.

     
  14. I once did a ratio lesson and a parent complained! It was just too difficult for their little darling. Or I'd explained it really badly. Oh well! They got over it and so did I!

    On a more constructive note, could you share some better lessons with the co-ordinator e.g. go through your plans and show them the children's work so they can see that you are doing well and hopefully understand that it was just a bad day? Or be a devil and ask the co-ordinator to teach a ratio lesson to the class so you can learn from them?!
     
  15. Thanks everyone. All really great advice. What bothered me was the fact that I felt like I've really let myself down and what frustrates me is the fact that I believe that I have taught a lot of good lessons this placement and then the lesson today is the impression of me that the coordinator is going to get. Doing a practical lesson and ratios (I had no idea they hadn't done them before!) was always going to be a gamble, and at least I'm willing to take risks. The coordinator said that out of everyone from my university who they observe, they expected me to be less likely to do a practical lesson and take risks when being observed. I didn't really want to go for a worksheet lesson and wanted something more hands on. Nevermind, the main thing is that I'm learning from it. I'll take the feedback on board and I think it might worth asking if the coordinator will observe another of my lessons, after half term. I am specialising in Science at university so I'll ask them to observe a science lesson. Their school is just down the road so I don't see why it would be a problem.
     
  16. ..But at the same time I'd prefer it if I didn't have another lesson observation. I may just make more of an effort to impress the school after half term and make the kids really engaged and the lessons as good as I can possibly make them. I have two exams next week so I'm trying to revise as well as planning lessons but I have everything planned and prepared for this week anyway. Once they're over, I'll be able to focus just on placement so maybe I can really impress them in my last few weeks. As long as I pass, I'm satisfied.
     
  17. razziegyp

    razziegyp New commenter

    You really must ask them to pinpoint exactly where/how they think you're disorganised. If it was just a generalised comment without much foundation, you'll know not to worry... but, if they can give you lots of valid instances, at least you can then do something about them.
     
  18. They said that it was in my first few weeks of placement when they were asking for my planning for the following week and I didn't have it with me. I wasn't well at the time so they said they'd let me off, but all of my work does get done on time now and I come to school each day with everything prepared and printed off. I don't print off a thing at school and don't think I'm disorganised. I'll ask though just to be sure.
     
  19. razziegyp

    razziegyp New commenter

    You sound a whole lot more organised than me!
     
  20. razziegyp

    razziegyp New commenter

    Sorry....I.....!!
     

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